Pondicherrypondicherry hashave justjust oneone MPMP .. Thatthat isbe farfar shortshort ofof aa majoritymajority inin thethe 543543 membermember Loklok Sabhasabha ,, butbut withwith thethe oppositionopposition stillstill technicallytechnically divideddivide intointo halfhalf aa dozendozen factionsfaction ,, itit wouldwould makemake Congresscongress thethe biggestbig singlesingle partyparty ,, andand Presidentpresident Venkataramanvenkataraman wouldwould havehave toto turnturn toto itit .. Inin thethe formerformer ,, thethe oppositionopposition isbe badlybadly splitsplit betweenbetween followersfollower ofof Mrmr Ramakrishnaramakrishna Hegdehegde ,, thethe charismaticcharismatic formerformer chiefchief ministerminister whowho headshead thethe challengechallenge forfor Janatajanata Daldal ,, andand anti-Hegdeanti-hegde dissidentsdissident .. Butbut itit isbe universallyuniversally acceptedaccept outsideoutside thethe rulingruling partyparty thatthat therethere isbe nono questionquestion ofof aa returnreturn toto thethe goldengolden daysday ofof 19801980 andand earlierearly electionselection ,, whenwhen Congresscongress usedused toto scoopscoop upup four-fifthsfour-fifths ofof thethe seatsseat .. Thethe Druzedruze leaderleader ,, Mrmr Walidwalid Jumblattjumblatt ââ whowho ,, likelike othersother inin thethe Syriansyrian campcamp ,, isbe far from farfar fromfrom happyhappy withwith thethe Taiftaif accordaccord ââ accusedaccuse thethe Arabarab Leagueleague envoyenvoy ,, Mrmr Lakhearlakhear Ibrahimiibrahimi ,, ofof interferinginterfere inin Lebanon'slebanon internalinternal affairsaffair ,, almostalmost as if asas ifif "" hehe wantswant toto becomebecome primeprime ministerminister himselfhimself "" .. Atat aa presspress conferenceconference yesterdayyesterday ,, ana ebullientebullient andand seeminglyseemingly confidentconfident Gengen Aounaoun reiteratedreiterate thatthat therethere wasbe "" nono presidentpresident "" inin Lebanonlebanon ,, onlyonly aa "" dissolveddissolved parliamentparliament "" ,, andand thatthat hehe headedhead thethe "" onlyonly legallegal ,, sovereignsovereign andand independentindependent "" administrationadministration .. Evadingevade questionsquestion aboutabout howhow hehe proposedpropose toto resistresist thethe willwill ofof virtuallyvirtually thethe wholewhole Arabarab andand internationalinternational communitycommunity ,, hehe saidsay thatthat Lebanonlebanon hadhave notnot gonego throughthrough 1515 yearsyear ofof civilcivil warwar ,, andand givengive thousandsthousands ofof martyrsmartyr ,, forfor thethe dishonourabledishonourable settlementsettlement thethe worldworld wasbe offeringoffer .. Traditionaltraditional celebrationscelebration inin Georgiageorgia andand Armeniaarmenia werebe alsoalso cancelledcancel .. Sovietsoviet strikesstrike pointpoint toto crisiscrisis ofof moralemorale thatthat threatensthreaten futurefuture ofof perestroikaperestroika .. Broadcastsbroadcast ofof parliamentparliament getget moremore viewersviewer thanthan Agathaagatha Christiechristie filmsfilm .. Itit isbe thethe firstfirst Novembernovember 77 sincesince thethe revolutionrevolution thatthat coalcoal minersminer havehave beenbe onon strikestrike .. Votersvoter leftleave twotwo dominantdominant impressionsimpression asas theythey queuedqueue inin thethe hothot sunsun ââ theirtheir determinationdetermination toto castcast theirtheir ballotsballot inin thethe firstfirst freefree electionelection sincesince Germanygermany beganbegin thethe Europeaneuropean conquestconquest ofof Namibianamibia moremuch thanthan aa centurycentury agoago ,, andand theirtheir orderlyorderly ,, disciplineddisciplined behaviourbehaviour inin thethe searingsearing heatheat .. Byby Michaelmichael Simmonssimmons Presidentpresident Dede Klerkklerk isbe expectedexpect toto meetmeet thethe neo-Nazineo-nazi leaderleader ,, Mrmr Eugeneeugene Terrebancheterrebanche ,, whilewhile hishis Foreignforeign Ministerminister ,, Mrmr Pikpik Bothabotha ,, isbe toto holdhold talkstalk inin Umtataumtata withwith thethe rebelliousrebellious leaderleader ofof thethe Transkeitranskei homelandhomeland ,, Maj-Generalmajor-general Bantubantu Holomisaholomisa .. Oneone participantparticipant ,, Rinchenrinchen Dolmadolma Taringtaring ,, wrotewrite inin herher bookbook ,, Daughterdaughter ofof Tibettibet :: "" Thethe Lhasalhasa womenwoman hadhave mademake manymany anti-Chineseanti-chinese postersposter andand whenwhen Ii joinedjoin themthem theythey werebe linedline upup aroundaround thethe Barkhorbarkhor shoutingshout slogansslogan ,, "" Fromfrom todaytoday Tibettibet isbe independentindependent "" andand "" Chinachina mustmust quitquit Tibettibet "" .. Stockstock Exchangeexchange ralliesrally stronglystrongly in response to inin responseresponse toto openopen borderborder .. Byby Alexalex Brummerbrummer Financialfinancial Editoreditor THEthe Frankfurtfrankfurt Stockstock Exchangeexchange yesterdayyesterday greetedgreet thethe openingopening ofof thethe bordersborder betweenbetween thethe twotwo Germanysgermanys withwith aa strongstrong andand jubilantjubilant rallyrally ,, despitedespite fearsfear onon thethe foreignforeign exchangeexchange marketsmarket thatthat rapidrapid politicalpolitical developmentsdevelopment couldcould weakenweaken thethe Bundesbank'sbundesbank fightfight againstagainst inflationinflation .. Thethe DAXdax indexindex ofof Westwest Germany'sgermany 3030 leadingleading sharesshare surgedsurge 33.7333.73 pointspoint ,, oror 2.32.3 per cent perper centcent ,, toto 1,496.691,496.69 inin oneone ofof thethe strongeststrong dailydaily peformancesperformance inin recentrecent monthsmonth .. Investorsinvestor werebe elatedelate byby thethe prospectprospect ofof aa moremuch buoyantbuoyant Westwest Germangerman economyeconomy asas Bonnbonn providesprovide houseshouse andand jobsjob forfor arrivalsarrival fromfrom thethe Easteast .. "" Thethe moodmood isbe supersuper ,, "" aa seniorsenior dealerdealer saidsay .. Butbut thethe prospectprospect ofof economiceconomic growthgrowth risingrise byby aa furtherfar half-pointhalf-point duringduring thethe nextnext sixsix monthsmonth raisedraise fearsfear onon thethe internationalinternational currencycurrency marketsmarket ofof ana uncontrolleduncontrolled expansionexpansion andand increasedincrease concernconcern aboutabout inflationinflation throughoutthroughout Europeeurope .. Thethe Bundesbankbundesbank hashave beenbe seensee untiluntil nownow asas Europe'seurope guardianguardian againstagainst rapidrapid priceprice increasesincrease .. Onon thethe foreignforeign exchangesexchange ,, thethe markmark fellfall moremore thanthan aa pfennigpfennig againstagainst thethe dollardollar andand droppeddrop againstagainst thethe currenciescurrency ofof Westwest Germany'sgermany partnerspartner inin thethe EMSems exchange-rateexchange rate mechanismmechanism .. Thethe Westwest Germangerman Financefinance Ministerminister ,, Mrmr Theotheo Waigelwaigel ,, ruledrule outout aa commoncommon Germangerman currencycurrency untiluntil economiceconomic reformsreform hadhave beenbe carriedcarry outout inin thethe Easteast .. "" Aa currencycurrency unionunion cancan onlyonly bebe reachedreach ifif therethere isbe convertibilityconvertibility ,, ifif thethe Easteast Germangerman markmark isbe broughtbring intointo aa sensiblesensible relationshiprelationship withwith thethe Westwest Germangerman markmark ,, andand ifif Easteast Germanygermany hashave undergoneundergo decisivedecisive monetarymonetary ,, financialfinancial andand economiceconomic reformreform ,, "" hehe saidsay .. Ashkenazyashkenazy atat easeease inin landland ofof hishis birthbirth .. Returningreturn toto Moscowmoscow atat thethe ageage ofof 5252 ,, forfor thethe firstfirst timetime sincesince hehe leftleave toto livelive inin Londonlondon 2626 yearsyear agoago ,, Ashkenazyashkenazy saidsay :: "" Inin mymy modestmodest wayway ,, Ii thoughtthink Ii couldcould endorseendorse whatwhat 'sbe happeninghappen inin mymy countrycountry .. "" Inin 19631963 "" therethere werebe somesome veryvery unpleasantunpleasant momentsmoment "" ,, hehe toldtell journalistsjournalist atat thethe Sovietsoviet Cultureculture Foundationfoundation .. "" Forfor manymany yearsyear inin Moscowmoscow ,, Ii feltfeel Ii couldcould n'tnot leaveleave thethe countrycountry .. "" Ii feelfeel atat easeease ââ muchmuch bettergood thanthan Ii diddo thenthen .. "" Thethe immediateimmediate reasonreason forfor hishis returnreturn isbe toto givegive twotwo charitycharity concertsconcert withwith thethe Royalroyal Philharmonicphilharmonic Orchestraorchestra thisthis weekendweekend forfor thethe victimsvictim ofof lastlast year'syear Armenianarmenian earthquakeearthquake .. Toto thethe mediamedia ,, hehe wasbe engaginglyengagingly modestmodest andand directdirect ,, withwith aa warmthwarmth ofof personalitypersonality thatthat immediatelyimmediately wonwin theirtheir heartsheart .. Inin hishis openingopening remarksremark inin Russianrussian ,, hehe saidsay :: "" Ii dodo n'tnot likelike beingbe thethe centrecentre ofof aa sensationsensation ,, butbut Ii knowknow Ii cacan n'tnot avoidavoid itit thisthis timetime .. "" Askedask whywhy itit hadhave takentake himhim 2626 yearsyear toto returnreturn ,, hehe saidsay :: "" Ii wasbe n'tnot invitedinvite tilltill lastlast yearyear ââ thoughthough ifif Ii hadhave beenbe beforebefore perestroikaperestroika ,, Ii wouldwould havehave thoughtthink notnot twicetwice butbut 1010 timestime aboutabout itit ,, andand Ii 'mbe notnot suresure Ii wouldwould havehave comecome .. "" "" Butbut thenthen therethere 'sbe thethe counter-argumentcounter-argument .. Soso whowho knowsknow ?? Andand thenthen aa pausepause ââ andand aa thoughtthought forfor perestroikaperestroika .. aa courtcourt inin thethe smallsmall Massachusettsmassachusetts towntown ofof Springfieldspringfield heardhear ana extraordinaryextraordinary taletale lastlast weekweek ofof aa $dollar 11 millionmillion plotplot toto killkill thethe latelate Presidentpresident ofof Pakistanpakistan ,, Generalgeneral Ziazia ul-Haqul-haq .. no one Nono oneone hashave beenbe arrestedarrest .. Malikmalik toldtell thethe courtcourt hehe hadhave paidpay Hashemihashemi $dollar 11 millionmillion forfor preliminarypreliminary expensesexpense andand toto buybuy thethe necessarynecessary equipmentequipment forfor thethe assassinationassassination .. Afterafter severalseveral monthsmonth ofof stallingstalling ,, hehe believedbelieve Hashemihashemi hadhave trickedtrick himhim andand hehe wentgo toto thethe Unitedunited Statesstates toto retrieveretrieve hishis moneymoney ââ andand savesave hishis faceface withwith hishis "" superiorssuperior "" inin thethe PPPppp .. Malikmalik isbe beingbe triedtry onon chargescharge ofof conspiracyconspiracy toto smugglesmuggle $dollar 1010 millionmillion ofof heroinheroin intointo thethe USus .. Hashemihashemi ,, whowho wasbe foundfind carryingcarry twotwo kiloskilo ofof heroinheroin ,, agreedagree toto co-operateco-operate withwith USus officialsofficial toto entrapentrap Malikmalik .. Atat aa presspress conferenceconference inin Lahorelahore yesterdayyesterday ,, Zia'szia sonson ,, Mrmr Ijazijaz ul-Haqul-haq accusedaccuse thethe PPPppp ofof beingbe involvedinvolved inin "" narco-terrorismnarco-terrorism "" andand hehe claimedclaim thatthat hehe hadhave evidenceevidence thatthat thethe Alal Zulfiqarzulfiqar groupgroup hadhave beenbe involvedinvolved inin thethe assassinationassassination .. Malikmalik onceonce servedserve aa shortshort termterm inin jailjail inin Karachikarachi wherewhere hehe wasbe filmedfilm byby Dutchdutch televisiontelevision livingliving inin thethe heightheight ofof luxuryluxury .. Mrmr Papandreoupapandreou ,, whosewhose standingstanding hashave risenrise steadilysteadily sincesince hishis scandal-hitscandal-hit Panhellenicpanhellenic Socialistsocialist Movementmovement (( PASOKpasok )) increasedincrease itsits votevote byby almostalmost twotwo percentpercent overover thethe inconclusiveinconclusive electionelection lastlast Junejune ,, saidsay hehe willwill dodo hishis utmostutmost toto coaxcoax thethe Communist-ledcommunist-led leftleft coalitioncoalition intointo formingform aa governmentgovernment ofof "" democraticdemocratic andand progressiveprogressive forcesforce "" .. Howeverhowever ,, thethe Communistscommunist ,, whowho emergedemerge forfor aa secondsecond timetime asas powerpower brokerbroker despitedespite theirtheir lossloss ofof sevenseven seatsseat inin parliamentparliament ,, hashave mademake itit clearclear thatthat theythey willwill notnot collaboratecollaborate withwith thethe Pasokpasok leaderleader whomwhom theythey indictedindict forfor allegedalleged wrongdoingwrongdoing duringduring thethe interiminterim left-rightleft-right coalitioncoalition governmentgovernment ofof Mrmr Tzannistzannis Tzannetakistzannetakis .. Thethe Leftleft Coalitioncoalition hashave soso farfar ruledrule outout linkinglink upup withwith thethe conservativesconservative againagain ââ thethe improbableimprobable alliancealliance ofof lastlast Junejune hashave beenbe blamedblame forfor muchmuch ofof theirtheir dropdrop inin supportsupport ââ butbut hashave alreadyalready hintedhint thatthat itit wouldwould bebe willingwilling toto supportsupport aa nationalnational unityunity governmentgovernment asas proposedpropose byby thethe Newnew Democratdemocrat leaderleader Mrmr Constantineconstantine Mitsotakismitsotakis .. PAGEpage "" Aa monumentmonument toto inhumanityinhumanity "" .. Byby Daviddavid Gowgow THEthe youngyoung manman filmedfilm inin thethe earlyearly hourshour ofof yesterdayyesterday delightedlydelightedly takingtake aa pick-axepick-axe toto thethe toptop ofof thethe Berlinberlin Wallwall wasbe aa potentpotent symbolsymbol ofof thethe destructiondestruction ofof 2828 yearsyear ofof affrontaffront toto freedomfreedom andand ofof thethe potentialpotential dismantlingdismantling ofof thethe systemsystem presidedpreside overover untiluntil onlyonly aa fewfew weeksweek agoago byby itsits architectarchitect ,, Mrmr Ericherich Honeckerhonecker .. Firstfirst largelylargely asas ana enormousenormous rollroll ofof barbedbarbed wirewire heldhold togethertogether byby postspost andand onlyonly laterlate asas thethe uglyugly concreteconcrete brickbrick barrierbarrier denounceddenounce byby aa spatespate ofof visitingvisiting Westernwestern leadersleader inin thethe earlyearly hourshour ofof Sundaysunday ,, Augustaugust 1313 ,, 19611961 .. Itsits officialofficial purposepurpose wasbe notnot toto keepkeep Easteast Germansgerman inin butbut "" revanchistrevanchist "" Westwest Germansgerman outout .. Watchedwatch byby aa demonstrationdemonstration ofof 50005000 jeeringjeering westernerswesterner atat thethe Brandenburgbrandenburg Gategate ,, andand byby Mrmr Williwilli Brandtbrandt ,, thethe thenthen Mayormayor ofof Westwest Berlinberlin whowho referredrefer toto "" thethe vacantvacant eyeseye ofof uniformeduniformed compatriotscompatriot doingdo theirtheir dutyduty onon thethe otherother sideside "" ,, thethe soldierssoldier completedcomplete thethe firstfirst barrierbarrier inin onlyonly aa fewfew hourshour .. Individualsindividual werebe seensee jumpingjumping fromfrom thethe windowswindow ofof thethe buildingsbuilding stragglingstraggle thethe Frenchfrench andand Sovietsoviet sectorssector ofof thethe citycity beforebefore theythey couldcould bebe brickedbrick upup .. Soonsoon ,, Mrmr Peterpeter Fechterfechter ,, agedaged 1818 ,, thethe firstfirst ofof nearlynearly 200200 Easteast Germansgerman killedkill inin thethe lastlast 2828 yearsyear whilewhile tryingtry toto escapeescape ,, wasbe shotshoot asas hehe climbedclimb overover thethe Wallwall nearnear Checkpointcheckpoint Charliecharlie .. Mrmr Silviosilvio Santos'ssantos latelate entryentry intointo thethe racerace ,, hopinghope toto bankbank onon hishis hugehuge popularitypopularity amongamong thethe poorpoor ,, wasbe solemnlysolemnly consideredconsider byby thethe toga-cladtoga-clad judgesjudge inin aa courtroomcourtroom dramadrama followedfollow byby mostmost Braziliansbrazilian .. Thethe judgesjudge decideddecide 7-07-0 againstagainst Mrmr Santossantos onon thethe groundsground thatthat thethe partyparty hehe hadhave joinedjoin atat thethe lastlast minuteminute in order inin orderorder toto standstand ,, thethe little-knownlittle-known Brazilianbrazilian Municipalistmunicipalist Partyparty whichwhich wasbe foundedfound byby Pentecostalpentecostal preacherspreacher ,, hadhave failedfail toto registerregister inin timetime .. Thethe eliminationelimination ofof Mrmr Santossantos ,, whowho hadhave thethe supportsupport ofof Presidentpresident Josejose Sarneysarney hashave reducedreduce thethe Novembernovember 1414 pollpoll toto aa contestcontest betweenbetween thethe Workers'worker Partyparty candidatecandidate ,, Mrmr Luisluis Inacioinacio dada Silvasilva ,, andand Mrmr Leonelleonel Brizolabrizola ofof thethe Democraticdemocratic Labourlabour Partyparty forfor aa placeplace inin thethe secondsecond roundround .. BERLINberlin wasbe aa citycity ofof tearstear andand champagnechampagne yesterdayyesterday ,, ofof joyjoy andand ofof sadnesssadness .. Somesome stormedstorm acrossacross inin jubilationjubilation ,, othersother inin aa moodmood closerclose toto melancholymelancholy .. Asas nightnight fellfall onon Easteast Berlinberlin yesterdayyesterday ,, thethe packedpacked rowrow ofof peoplepeople squattingsquat on top of onon toptop ofof thethe Wallwall inin thethe Westwest wasbe growinggrow biggerbig byby thethe hourhour .. Inin thethe currentcurrent ,, probablyprobably mistakenmistaken assumptionassumption thatthat reunificationreunification isbe onlyonly aa mattermatter ofof weeksweek oror monthsmonth awayaway itit isbe oftenoften forgottenforget thatthat aa unitedunited Germanygermany asas suchsuch existedexist forfor onlyonly aroundaround 7575 yearsyear ,, betweenbetween 18701870 andand 19451945 ,, fromfrom Bismarck'sbismarck ascendancyascendancy toto Hitler'shitler descentdescent intointo suicidesuicide andand defeatdefeat .. Twotwo yearsyear agoago ,, Mrmr Ericherich Honeckerhonecker ,, whowho succeededsucceed Walterwalter Ulbrichtulbricht asas Easteast Germangerman leaderleader inin 19711971 ,, thoughtthink hehe hadhave crownedcrown thethe post-warpost-war settlementsettlement andand divisiondivision ofof Germanygermany withwith thethe firstfirst officialofficial visitvisit toto thethe Federalfederal Republicrepublic .. Westwest Germangerman Chancellorchancellor Helmuthelmut Kohlkohl brokebreak offoff hishis visitvisit toto Polandpoland onon Fridayfriday andand flewfly homehome toto dealdeal withwith aa dramaticdramatic politicalpolitical situationsituation afterafter Easteast Germanygermany openedopen itsits bordersborder toto thethe Westwest .. Whilewhile thisthis sparedspare thethe Bushbush Administrationadministration fromfrom thethe perilsperil ofof thinkingthinking forfor itselfitself ,, oror heavenheaven forbidforbid ,, takingtake aa policypolicy decisiondecision forfor whichwhich itit mightmight getget criticisedcriticise ,, itit naivelynaively ignoredignore thethe dangerdanger thatthat Bonnbonn mightmight havehave aa largelarge axeaxe ofof itsits ownown toto grindgrind .. Thethe Pentagonpentagon andand thethe Nationalnational Securitysecurity Councilcouncil arebe openlyopenly scepticalsceptical ofof Mrmr Gorbachev'sgorbachev chanceschance ,, andand ofof hishis ambitionsambition ,, whilewhile thethe Secretarysecretary ofof Statestate ,, Mrmr Jimjim Bakerbaker ,, andand probablyprobably Mrmr Bushbush ,, believebelieve thatthat therethere arebe trustworthytrustworthy dealsdeal toto bebe donedo .. -Reuter-reuter .. Addadd toto thatthat argumentsargument overover whichwhich defencedefence budgetbudget benefitsbenefit mostmuch fromfrom conventionalconventional trooptroop reductionsreduction ,, ifif asas seemsseem likelylikely thesethese arebe agreedagree inin Viennavienna inin thethe coursecourse ofof 19901990 ,, andand wewe willwill findfind ourselvesourselves havinghave toto bargainbargain overover mostmost ofof thethe centralcentral issuesissue ofof foreignforeign policypolicy andand publicpublic expenditureexpenditure withwith ourour Westwest Europeaneuropean partnerspartner withinwithin thethe samesame politicalpolitical andand institutionalinstitutional frameworkframework .. Thethe logiclogic ofof aa tightertight Europeaneuropean Communitycommunity ,, withwith aa moremuch explicitexplicit securitysecurity dimensiondimension ,, aa largerlarge budgetbudget ,, andand aa hugehuge andand complicatedcomplicated foreignforeign policypolicy agendaagenda ,, clashesclash withwith thethe insistentinsistent pressurespressure fromfrom othersother toto joinjoin .. Amongamong politicianspolitician whowho havehave spentspend theirtheir liveslife workingwork withinwithin thethe seeminglyseemingly fixedfixed assumptionsassumption ofof thethe Coldcold Warwar camecome aa soberingsobering recognitionrecognition ofof thethe speedspeed andand scalescale ofof eventsevent ,, whichwhich eveneven promptedprompt Mrsmrs Thatcherthatcher toto stressstress thatthat talktalk ofof aa reunitedreunited Germanygermany wasbe "" goinggo muchmuch tootoo fastfast .. Whilewhile thethe Primeprime Ministerminister immediatelyimmediately offeredoffer thethe useuse ofof Britishbritish militarymilitary campscamp inin Westwest Germanygermany toto helphelp copecope withwith thethe currentcurrent surgesurge ofof refugeesrefugee ,, herher Foreignforeign Secretarysecretary ,, Mrmr Douglasdouglas Hurdhurd ,, promisedpromise Easteast Germanygermany thethe kindkind ofof practicalpractical helphelp inin creatingcreate aa moremuch market-orientatedmarket-orientated economyeconomy whichwhich Britainbritain hashave givengive Polandpoland ââ somesome £pound 2525 millionmillion ofof "" Knowknow Howhow "" fundsfund overover 2525 yearsyear andand isbe pledgedpledge toto givegive toto ex-Communistex-communist Hungaryhungary .. Mrsmrs Chamorrochamorro declineddecline toto givegive interviewsinterview whilewhile inin Washingtonwashington butbut inin ana articlearticle publishedpublish thisthis weekweek ,, sheshe wrotewrite :: "" Tenten yearsyear ofof livingliving dangerouslydangerously hashave broughtbring civilcivil warwar ,, ana exodusexodus ofof aa fifthfifth ofof ourour countrymencountryman ,, ana annualannual inflationinflation ofof 30,00030,000 per cent perper centcent ,, 4040 per cent perper centcent unemploymentunemployment andand forfor thethe firstfirst timetime inin ourour historyhistory ,, massmass hungerhunger .. Toto measuremeasure thethe paralysingparalysing effecteffect ofof suchsuch aa prospectprospect onon militarymilitary plannersplanner ,, oneone hashave onlyonly toto visualisevisualise thethe Britishbritish andand Americanamerican tanktank divisionsdivision manoeuvringmanoeuvre alongalong thethe innerinner Germangerman borderborder ,, whilewhile Easteast Germansgerman whosewhose invasioninvasion theythey arebe supposedlysupposedly repellingrepel streamstream pastpast westwardswestwards inin theirtheir overloadedoverloaded Ladasladas andand Brabantsbrabants .. Violenceviolence eruptserupt onon Basquebasque funeralfuneral dayday .. PROTESTERSprotester setset firefire toto banksbank andand officesoffice ofof thethe rulingruling Socialistsocialist Partyparty yesterdayyesterday asas Basquesbasque mournedmourn thethe assassinationassassination ofof oneone ofof theirtheir leadersleader .. at least Atat leastleast ninenine policepolice werebe hurthurt andand aboutabout 1010 peoplepeople detaineddetain inin clashesclash betweenbetween securitysecurity forcesforce ,, demonstratorsdemonstrator andand strikestrike picketspicket inin thethe Basquebasque regionregion andand thethe neighbouringneighbouring Navarrenavarre provinceprovince ,, locallocal governmentgovernment officialsofficial saidsay .. Tenstens ofof thousandsthousands ofof mournersmourner accompaniedaccompany thethe coffincoffin ofof Mrmr Josujosu Muguruzamuguruza inin aa funeralfuneral processionprocession throughthrough thethe centrecentre ofof Bilbaobilbao ,, chantingchant "" independenceindependence "" andand "" longlong livelive ETAeta "" .. Mrmr Muguruzamuguruza wasbe shotshoot deaddead byby maskedmasked gunmengunman asas hehe dineddine withwith colleaguescolleague fromfrom Herriherri Batasunabatasuna (( People'speople Unityunity )) atat aa hotelhotel inin Madridmadrid onon Mondaymonday nightnight .. HeNO_LEMMA_FORM_IDENTIFIED hadhave beenbe electedelect lastlast monthmonth toto thethe Spanishspanish Parliamentparliament andand wasbe murderedmurder thethe nightnight beforebefore hehe wasbe toto taketake hishis seatseat .. Mrmr Inakiinaki Esnaolaesnaola ,, anotheranother ofof Herriherri Batasuna'sbatasuna fourfour deputies-electdeputy-elect ,, wasbe seriouslyseriously woundedwound inin thethe attackattack .. Doctorsdoctor saidsay yesterdayyesterday hishis conditioncondition hadhave improvedimprove significantlysignificantly ,, butbut thatthat itit wasbe stillstill seriousserious .. Radicalsradical hurledhurl petrolpetrol bombsbomb atat severalseveral banksbank ,, setset alightalight twotwo officesoffice ofof thethe Socialistsocialist Workersworker Partyparty (( PSOEpsoe )) inin Eibareibar andand Lezolezo andand ransackedransack thethe headquartersheadquarters ofof aa moderatemoderate Basquebasque nationalistnationalist partyparty .. more than Moremore thanthan 100100 carscar forfor exportexport atat thethe portport ofof Pasajespasajes werebe stonedstone .. Barricadesbarricade andand bombbomb threatsthreat paralysedparalyse publicpublic transporttransport inin thethe Basquebasque regionregion .. Mostmost shopsshop heededheed Herriherri Batasuna'sbatasuna callcall forfor aa 24-hour24-hour strikestrike .. Herriherri Batasunabatasuna hashave calledcall thethe killingkill aa statestate crimecrime andand blamedblame thethe Socialistsocialist governmentgovernment .. Ceausescuceausescu inin callcall forfor Hitlerhitler treatiestreaty toto bebe annulledannul .. Byby Ianian Traynortraynor inin Viennavienna ASas thethe ideologicalideological gulfgulf betweenbetween Moscowmoscow andand Bucharestbucharest yawnsyawn everever widerwide ,, thethe Romanianromanian leaderleader ,, Presidentpresident Nicolaenicolae Ceausescuceausescu ,, hashave raisedraise thethe potentiallypotentially explosiveexplosive issueissue ofof formerformer Romanianromanian territoriesterritory annexedannex byby thethe Kremlinkremlin duringduring thethe secondsecond worldworld warwar .. Inin aa speechspeech toto thethe Romanianromanian Communistcommunist Partyparty Congresscongress earlierearlier thisthis weekweek ,, hehe attackedattack thethe Stalin-Hitlerstalin-hitler pactpact ofof 19391939 thatthat carvedcarve upup Polandpoland andand thethe Balticbaltic statesstate betweenbetween themthem ,, butbut alsoalso cededcede Bessarabiabessarabia ââ thenthen partpart ofof Romaniaromania andand nownow thethe Sovietsoviet Republicrepublic ofof Moldaviamoldavia ââ toto Moscowmoscow .. Mrmr Ceausescuceausescu demandeddemand thatthat "" allall treatiestreaty withwith Hitler'shitler Germanygermany bebe annulledannul "" andand "" practicalpractical stepsstep takentake toto reversereverse thethe consequencesconsequence ofof thosethose treatiestreaty .. "" Presidentpresident Ceausescuceausescu hashave generallygenerally keptkeep quietquiet onon thethe Moldavianmoldavian issueissue ,, whilewhile routinelyroutinely stressingstress Romanianromanian nationalnational sovereigntysovereignty andand independenceindependence .. Butbut Romania'sromania officialofficial presspress hashave reportedreport extensivelyextensively onon thethe ethnicethnic unrestunrest acrossacross thethe borderborder ,, whilewhile ,, for example forfor exampleexample ,, failingfail toto reportreport onon thethe radicalradical reformreform andand streetstreet demonstrationsdemonstration takingtake placeplace inin otherother Warsawwarsaw Pactpact countriescountry .. Speakersspeaker denounceddenounce "" anti-Communistanti-communist theoriestheory thatthat questionedquestion thethe legitimacylegitimacy ofof socialismsocialism .. "" ANa independentindependent inquiryinquiry yesterdayyesterday backedback upup allegationsallegation thatthat aa Southsouth Africanafrican policepolice "" deathdeath squadsquad "" hadhave killedkill anti-apartheidanti-apartheid activistsactivist .. Setset upup onon thethe initiativeinitiative ofof thethe secretary-generalsecretary-general ofof thethe Southsouth Africanafrican Councilcouncil ofof Churcheschurch ,, thethe Reverendreverend Frankfrank Chikanechikane ,, thethe Independentindependent Boardboard ofof Inquiryinquiry intointo Informalinformal Repressionrepression hashave investigatedinvestigate fivefive episodesepisode inin whichwhich thethe "" deathdeath squadsquad "" wasbe involvedinvolve .. Itit foundfind "" significantsignificant corroborationcorroboration "" ofof thethe chargescharge mademake byby thethe ex-policemanex-policeman ,, Almondalmond Nofomelanofomela .. Mrsmrs Thatcherthatcher willwill havehave toto bebe satisfiedsatisfied withwith thethe assurancesassurance sheshe willwill receivereceive fromfrom Mrmr Bushbush ,, whowho willwill telltell herher thatthat ,, sincesince defencedefence cutscut arebe politicallypolitically inevitableinevitable ,, itit isbe farfar bettergood forfor modestmodest andand plannedplanned reductionsreduction toto bebe proposedpropose byby hishis cabinetcabinet andand thethe Pentagonpentagon thanthan forfor swingeingswingeing cutscut toto bebe imposedimpose byby thethe USus Congresscongress ,, whichwhich isbe alreadyalready chafingchafe atat thethe thoughtthought ofof thethe USus budgetbudget deficitdeficit beingbe deepeneddeepen toto paypay forfor thethe defencedefence ofof thethe wealthywealthy Europeanseuropean .. Inin thisthis Europeeurope therethere isbe aa Benettonbenetton inin everyevery highhigh streetstreet ,, Badoitbadoit andand Czechczech Budweiserbudweiser inin everyevery fridgefridge ,, ana Armaniarmani jacketjacket inin everyevery wardrobewardrobe ,, beaujolais nouveau Beaujolaisbeaujolais Nouveaunouveau onon everyevery tabletable ,, cablecable andand satellitesatellite televisiontelevision channelschannel inin manymany languageslanguage inin everyevery livingliving roomroom ,, ana Umbertoumberto Ecoeco novelnovel onon everyevery bookshelfbookshelf ,, aa Volvovolvo inin everyevery garagegarage ,, wherewhere CDsCD ofof Thethe Orchestraorchestra ofof thethe Ageage ofof Enlightenmentenlightenment lielie casuallycasually next to nextnext toto Eurythmicseurythmics ,, andand wherewhere nippingnip acrossacross toto Parisparis forfor thethe dayday isbe asas naturalnatural asas doingdo aa day'sday businessbusiness inin Londonlondon .. Onon thatthat evidenceevidence ,, thereforetherefore ,, andand in spite of inin spitespite ofof lastlast night'snight ominousominous phrasesphrase thatthat thethe governmentgovernment wouldwould notnot toleratetolerate "" chaoschaos andand anarchyanarchy "" ,, itit seemsseem thatthat thethe statementstatement isbe moremuch likelylikely toto bebe aa specificspecific warningwarning ââ thatthat peoplepeople breakingbreak inin toto armouriesarmoury toto stealsteal weaponsweapon oror ammunitionammunition couldcould expectexpect toto bebe metmeet byby physicalphysical forceforce ââ thanthan aa signsign thatthat thethe militarymilitary arebe planningplan aa politicalpolitical takeovertakeover .. Onon thethe firstfirst anniversaryanniversary ofof thatthat invasioninvasion ,, whenwhen thousandsthousands ofof Czechoslovakczechoslovak demonstratorsdemonstrator werebe disperseddisperse onon Mrmr Husak'shusak ordersorder byby thethe policepolice withwith militarymilitary supportsupport ,, hehe wasbe awardedaward thethe Orderorder ofof Leninlenin ,, thethe highesthigh honourhonour thethe Russiansrussian couldcould givegive himhim ,, andand hishis acceptanceacceptance ofof itit sealedseal hishis fatefate once and for all onceonce andand forfor allall .. Withinwithin twotwo yearsyear ofof becomingbecome partyparty leaderleader hehe purgedpurge allall butbut 2626 ofof thethe centralcentral committeecommittee membersmember whowho hadhave beenbe inin officeoffice beforebefore thethe invasioninvasion .. Soso farfar asas isbe knownknow ,, nobodynobody elseelse hashave beenbe arrestedarrest oror chargedcharge in connection with inin connectionconnection withwith thethe murdermurder ofof Mrmr Mxengemxenge .. Thethe Statestate Presidentpresident ,, Mrmr F.f. W.w. dede Klerkklerk ,, lastlast weekweek refusedrefuse toto orderorder aa judicialjudicial commissioncommission ofof inquiryinquiry intointo thethe death-squaddeath-squad allegationsallegation onon thethe groundground thatthat itit wouldwould bebe fasterfast toto useuse thethe "" triedtried andand respectedrespected prosecutionprosecution mechanismsmechanism ofof thethe statestate "" .. Thethe Romanianromanian ambassadorambassador inin Londonlondon ,, Mrmr Stanstan Soaresoare ,, wasbe summonedsummon toto thethe Foreignforeign Officeoffice wherewhere Mrmr Williamwilliam Waldegravewaldegrave ,, thethe Juniorjunior Ministerminister responsibleresponsible forfor Easterneastern Europeeurope ,, saidsay "" thethe rightright thingthing "" forfor Romanianromanian statestate employeesemployee ,, includinginclude thosethose workingwork forfor thethe securitysecurity servicesservice ,, toto dodo wasbe toto representrepresent "" thethe truetrue willwill ofof thethe Romanianromanian peoplepeople "" andand overthrowoverthrow thethe Ceausescuceausescu Governmentgovernment .. Mrmr Frankfrank Rubinorubino ,, aa Miamimiami lawyerlawyer ,, negotiatednegotiate withwith Mrmr Michaelmichael Kozakkozak ,, thethe Deputydeputy Assistantassistant Secretarysecretary ofof Statestate forfor Inter-Americaninter-american Affairsaffair ,, andand withwith Mrmr Robertrobert Mullermuller ,, describeddescribe asas aa seniorsenior staffstaff adviseradviser inin thethe officeoffice ofof thethe Attorney-Generalattorney-general .. Afterafter demandingdemand thatthat Gengen Norieganoriega simplysimply stepstep downdown ,, thethe USus officialsofficial thenthen relaxedrelax theirtheir termsterm andand suggestedsuggest hehe relinquishrelinquish positionsposition ofof powerpower in return for inin returnreturn forfor aa USus promisepromise notnot toto proceedproceed withwith attemptsattempt toto extraditeextradite himhim .. Robertrobert Courtneycourtney Edwinedwin Robertsonrobertson writeswrite :: Wheneverwhenever Ii answeredanswer thethe telephonetelephone inin thethe fiftiesfifty andand sixtiessixty andand heardhear thethe anxiousanxious voicevoice atat thethe otherother endend sayingsay "" Herehere isbe Hartvellhartvell "" (( hehe nevernever quitequite managedmanage thatthat Englishenglish "" Ww "" )) ,, Ii knewknow thatthat eithereither mymy deadlinedeadline forfor ana articlearticle wasbe passedpass oror hehe hadhave somesome excitingexciting newnew bookbook forfor meme toto reviewreview .. Tuesdaytuesday ELISABETHelisabeth WOKEwake EARLYearly ;; ITit WASbe STILLstill DARKdark ANDand sheshe couldcould hearhear thatthat thethe windwind wasbe upup ,, threateningthreaten thethe airair ,, poisedpoise toto burstburst intointo uncontrollableuncontrollable ragerage .. Sheshe roserise ,, pulledpull herher kimonokimono overover herher shouldersshoulder ,, andand approachedapproach thethe windowwindow .. Overover aa barelybarely discerniblediscernible greygrey sheetsheet ofof waterwater wasbe thrownthrow ana equallyequally greygrey shroudshroud ofof skysky ,, butbut thethe shroudshroud wasbe torntear inin placesplace toto revealreveal streaksstreak ofof bloodblood redred andand aquamarineaquamarine blueblue .. Elisabethelisabeth openedopen thethe windowwindow andand steppedstep outout on to onon toto thethe balconybalcony .. Sheshe watchedwatch asas thethe jaggedjagged tearstear inin thethe skysky mendedmend ,, cobblingcobble themselvesthemselves togethertogether inin aa uniformuniform greygrey .. Dropsdrop ofof heavyheavy rainrain peltedpelt thethe balconybalcony withwith silversilver stonesstone .. Thethe sorrowsorrow ofof thethe skysky wasbe dissolvingdissolve ;; underunder itit thethe relentlessrelentless heavingheaving ofof thethe compassionlesscompassionless waterswater mockedmock thethe sky'ssky concernconcern .. Andand thenthen thethe skysky itselfitself ragedrage .. Aa sheetsheet ofof lightninglightning flashedflash acrossacross thethe waterswater ,, toto bebe followedfollow ,, secondssecond laterlate ,, byby aa rollroll ofof thunderthunder .. Thethe greygrey oceanocean seethedseethe .. Aboveabove andand beneathbeneath ana endlessendless expanseexpanse ofof heavyheavy ,, undulatingundulating dangerdanger wasbe letlet looseloose .. "" Thatthat poorpoor deardear womanwoman !! "" Frufru Gertlingergertlinger ,, Bertha'sbertha mothermother ,, wasbe onon thethe vergeverge ofof tearstear .. "" Andand sheshe doesdo n'tnot comecome fromfrom aa fishingfishing familyfamily herselfherself .. Herher folkfolk farmedfarm .. Sheshe 'shave gotget fourfour littlelittle onesone .. "" Certaincertain thatthat nonenone ofof thethe menman onon thethe Flounderflounder wouldwould havehave survivedsurvive ,, sheshe namedname eacheach ofof themthem .. Sheshe knewknow themthem allall ;; sheshe wasbe devastateddevastate forfor themthem andand theirtheir familiesfamily ,, whowho wouldwould bebe leftleave husbandlesshusbandless andand fatherlessfatherless .. Butbut itit wasbe overover thethe husbandhusband ofof herher closestclose friendfriend thatthat sheshe grievedgrieve mostmuch deeplydeeply .. "" Ii hatehate thethe seasea !! Eveneven beforebefore itit tooktake Peterpeter fromfrom meme ,, Ii hatedhate thethe seasea .. Itit isbe insatiableinsatiable .. "" Guestsguest ateeat breakfastbreakfast inin silencesilence asas thethe rainrain pouredpour monotonouslymonotonously out of outout ofof thethe greygrey skysky andand thuddedthud onon thethe roofroof ,, thethe balconiesbalcony andand thethe terraceterrace .. Theythey werebe resentfulresentful .. Rainrain onon holidayholiday ââ soso muchmuch wetterwet ,, somehowsomehow ,, thanthan rainrain atat otherother timestime .. Whatwhat wasbe therethere toto dodo onon Mønmøn inin thethe rainrain ?? Plansplan onceonce agreedagree couldcould bebe unmadeunmake ,, atat aa practicalpractical levellevel ,, butbut somehowsomehow ,, andand onon somesome otherother levellevel ,, whatwhat hadhave beenbe plannedplan remainedremain aa possibilitypossibility andand hunghang aroundaround toto haunthaunt themthem .. Whatwhat theythey hadhave wantedwant wasbe toto havehave gonego onon aa fishingfishing expeditionexpedition .. Suchsuch aa delightfuldelightful prospectprospect !! Andand nownow thisthis hadhave happenedhappen !! Itit mightmight blightblight thethe wholewhole ofof theirtheir staystay .. â¦â¦ "" Ii 'mbe suresure ofof oneone thingthing ,, "" Frufru Møllermøller saidsay darklydarkly ,, toto no one nono oneone in particular inin particularparticular ,, asas sheshe leftleave thethe Hallhall toto collectcollect raspberryraspberry jamjam fromfrom thethe kitchenkitchen forfor aa guestguest allergicallergic toto strawberriesstrawberry ,, "" thethe rainrain wowill n'tnot deflectdeflect Missmiss Danzigerdanziger fromfrom herher purposepurpose .. "" Fromfrom behindbehind thethe doordoor thatthat swungswing closedclosed againstagainst herher backback ,, thethe guestsguest heardhear Frufru Møllermøller telltell Frufru Gertlingergertlinger toto putput moremore coffeecoffee on to onon toto brewbrew :: "" Theythey 'llwill bebe sittingsit aboutabout allall morningmorning inin weatherweather likelike thisthis !! "" "" Missmiss Danzigerdanziger likeslike toto keepkeep toto aa routineroutine ,, whateverwhatever thethe obstaclesobstacle ,, dodo n'tnot youyou ,, Missmiss Danzigerdanziger ?? "" Frufru Møllermøller continuedcontinue ,, asas sheshe re-enteredre-enter thethe Hallhall .. "" Andand sheshe likeslike thethe househouse toto staystay justjust thethe samesame ,, "" sheshe remarkedremark toto Frufru Gertlingergertlinger ,, asas sheshe sweptsweep backback throughthrough thethe green-baizegreen-baize doordoor forfor yetyet moremore toasttoast ,, "" soso sheshe 'sbe notnot goinggo toto objectobject toto thethe blueblue roomroom beingbe returnedreturn toto itsits formerformer colourscolour .. Diddo Ii mentionmention ,, Ii discovereddiscover aa dozendozen rollsroll ofof thethe originaloriginal wallpaperwallpaper inin aa tintin trunktrunk inin thethe atticattic ?? Ii thinkthink itit 'sbe goinggo toto bebe usableusable ;; itit doesdo n'tnot seemseem toto havehave drieddry outout .. "" Backback andand forthforth Frufru Møllermøller passedpass fromfrom thethe Hallhall toto thethe kitchenkitchen ,, replenishingreplenish thethe bread-basketsbread-basket ,, thethe toast-rackstoast-rack ,, thethe milkmilk jugsjug andand creamcream potspot ,, enquiringenquire ,, "" Fräuleinfräulein Baumbaum ,, maymay Ii offeroffer youyou aa soft-boiledsoft-boiled eggegg ?? "" "" Thatthat wouldwould bebe nicenice ,, Frufru Møllermøller .. Andand d'do youyou knowknow whatwhat ?? Ii thinkthink Ii couldcould managemanage twotwo !! "" "" Doesdo itit alwaysalways rainrain onon Mønmøn inin Augustaugust ?? "" Frufru Hulsbyhulsby tentativelytentatively enquiredenquire .. Frufru Møllermøller ,, loyalloyal toto herher countrycountry in general inin generalgeneral andand herher cornercorner ofof itit particularlyparticularly ,, assuredassure thethe newcomernewcomer thatthat inin livingliving memorymemory itit hadhave hardlyhardly everever donedo soso .. "" Thisthis isbe mostmuch unusualunusual !! "" "" Boo-Booboo-boo !! Listenlisten toto meme ,, Boo-Booboo-boo !! "" Thethe Colonelcolonel emergedemerge fromfrom behindbehind hishis newspapernewspaper toto allowallow hishis wifewife aa viewview ofof hishis expressionlessexpressionless faceface .. Herher plaintiveplaintive whisperwhisper hadhave projectedproject itselfitself rightright roundround thethe Hallhall ,, butbut thisthis hadhave notnot putput paidpay toto herher determinationdetermination toto securesecure hishis attentionattention .. "" Frufru Møllermøller justjust toldtell thatthat ladylady thatthat itit nevernever rainsrain herehere inin Augustaugust ,, butbut thethe dollsdoll saysay itit oftenoften doesdo andand theythey packedpack theirtheir mackintoshesmackintosh !! "" Whenwhen thethe Tuscantuscan Villavilla andand Thethe Tamariskstamarisk camecome toto thethe noticenotice ofof thethe Touristtourist Boardboard andand beforebefore eithereither wasbe convertedconvert intointo aa guest-houseguest-house ,, thethe roadroad thatthat servedserve Thethe Tamariskstamarisk andand thenthen swungswing inlandinland ,, downhilldownhill ,, toto thethe rearrear ofof thethe Tuscantuscan Villavilla ,, wasbe extendedextend .. Itit wasbe impossibleimpossible toto extendextend itit toto thethe frontfront ofof thethe Villavilla withoutwithout blastingblast thethe cliffscliff andand destroyingdestroy exquisiteexquisite countrycountry ,, butbut quitequite possiblepossible toto reachreach thethe gatesgate atat thethe rearrear ofof thethe parkpark .. Butbut itit wasbe notnot thethe newnew roadroad thatthat Missmiss Danzigerdanziger tooktake inin thethe rainrain thatthat morningmorning .. Sheshe followedfollow thethe oldold routeroute ,, throughthrough thethe walledwalled gardengarden atat Thethe Tamariskstamarisk toto thethe pathpath thatthat curledcurl downdown thethe cliffscliff toto thethe five-acrefive-acre plateauplateau onon whichwhich thethe Villavilla stoodstand atat thethe centrecentre ofof ana arboretumarboretum .. Somesome ofof thethe rarerare treestree plantedplant byby thethe originaloriginal ownerowner ofof thethe Tuscantuscan Villavilla hadhave beenbe replacedreplace .. Mostmost ,, howeverhowever ,, hadhave reachedreach andand eveneven overshotovershoot theirtheir maturitymaturity ;; theythey hadhave becomebecome thethe elderold statesmenstatesman ofof theirtheir breedsbreed :: exceptionalexceptional ,, memorablememorable examplesexample ofof thethe extremesextreme naturenature isbe capablecapable ofof attainingattain .. Herehere ,, treestree brokebreak allall recordsrecord forfor theirtheir heightheight ,, thethe widthwidth ofof theirtheir branchbranch spanspan andand thethe luxuriousnessluxuriousness ofof theirtheir foliagefoliage .. Despitedespite thethe proximityproximity ofof thethe seasea andand thethe meanmean windwind thatthat gatheredgather andand spreadspread saltsalt ,, thisthis communitycommunity ofof treestree wasbe renownedrenowned forfor itsits healthhealth .. Botanistsbotanist suggestedsuggest thatthat byby somesome felicitousfelicitous intuitionintuition thethe Italianitalian planterplanter hadhave chosenchoose specimensspecimen withwith propertiesproperty thatthat facilitatedfacilitate each other eacheach other'sother growthgrowth .. Mønmøn wasbe filledfill withwith suchsuch examplesexample ofof co-operationco-operation ,, theythey saidsay .. Thethe arboretumarboretum wasbe knownknow simplysimply asas thethe Parkpark ,, andand wasbe openopen toto thethe publicpublic .. Howeverhowever ,, thethe publicpublic onon Mønmøn wasbe aa smallsmall oneone andand thethe parkpark wasbe visitedvisit primarilyprimarily byby publicpublic servantsservant fromfrom otherother partspart ofof Denmarkdenmark ,, whosewhose jobjob itit wasbe toto plantplant outout publicpublic placesplace ââ andand alsoalso byby visitorsvisitor toto thethe Villavilla andand Thethe Tamariskstamarisk .. Inin thethe rainrain ,, Elisabethelisabeth wasbe alonealone ââ apart from apartapart fromfrom thethe sheepsheep lentlend toto cropcrop thethe grassgrass .. Sheshe wasbe filledfill withwith ana overwhelmingoverwhelming sensesense ofof lossloss asas sheshe wanderedwander fromfrom treetree toto treetree ,, recognisingrecognise manymany ,, feelingfeel herselfherself accusedaccuse :: sheshe hadhave overstayedoverstay herher welcomewelcome inin thethe worldworld .. Lifelife conductedconduct itselfitself independentlyindependently ofof herher .. Thethe scentsscent fromfrom thethe soddensodden earthearth filledfill herher withwith ana intolerableintolerable weightweight ofof memorymemory ;; notnot thatthat ofof individualindividual occasionsoccasion butbut ofof thethe entireentire pastpast .. Sheshe approachedapproach thethe catalpacatalpa treetree .. Thethe expandedexpanded Ee andand Dd wouldwould havehave beenbe invisibleinvisible toto anyoneanyone notnot expectingexpect toto findfind themthem .. Asas sheshe drewdraw herher fingerfinger alongalong thethe initialsinitial ,, herher stomachstomach clenchedclench andand herher eyeseye mistedmist .. Sheshe beatbeat onon thethe treetree withwith herher fistsfist ,, sheshe threwthrow herher armsarm asas farfar roundround thethe treetree asas theythey wouldwould reachreach andand thenthen ,, despitedespite thethe relentlessrelentless rainrain ,, thethe saturatedsaturated groundground andand thethe penetratingpenetrating coldcold ,, sheshe fellfall onon herher kneesknee atat itsits footfoot ,, unableunable toto mustermuster thethe willwill toto walkwalk onon .. Itit wasbe ana oldold eweewe ,, treadingtread onon thethe skirtskirt ofof herher raincoatraincoat ,, thatthat rousedrouse Elisabethelisabeth .. Slowlyslowly sheshe draggeddrag herselfherself alongalong oneone ofof thethe pathspath thatthat ledlead toto thethe househouse .. Butbut sheshe diddo notnot approachapproach thethe househouse .. Sheshe shelteredshelter inin aa summer-housesummer-house twentytwenty metresmetre fromfrom thethe windowswindow ofof thethe musicmusic roomroom .. Thethe moistmoist silencesilence wasbe beingbe brokenbreak byby birdsongbirdsong ;; itit wasbe aa hectichectic chatteringchattering ,, insistentinsistent ,, likelike thethe rainrain .. no one Nono oneone wasbe aboutabout .. Thethe windowswindow ofof thethe Villavilla werebe firmlyfirmly shutshut .. Gardengarden furniturefurniture hadhave beenbe neatlyneatly stackedstack underunder thethe colonnadecolonnade .. Elisabethelisabeth wasbe torntear betweenbetween retreatingretreat at once atat onceonce ,, followingfollow thethe pathpath backback thethe wayway sheshe hadhave comecome ,, oror continuingcontinue asas farfar asas thethe colonnadecolonnade toto looklook throughthrough thethe windowswindow intointo thethe musicmusic roomroom .. Herher indecisionindecision mademake herher sweatsweat ;; herher armpitsarmpit feltfeel clammyclammy underunder herher raincoatraincoat andand thethe palmspalm ofof herher handshand werebe moistmoist .. Whywhy shouldshould sheshe feelfeel likelike thisthis :: as if asas ifif sheshe werebe engagedengage inin somethingsomething illegalillegal ?? Thisthis wasbe aa publicpublic parkpark .. Nownow .. Sheshe wasbe entitledentitled toto bebe herehere .. Nono noticenotice suggestedsuggest thatthat visitorsvisitor werebe trespasserstrespasser .. Yetyet ,, sheshe feltfeel ,, itit wasbe notnot donedo toto peerpeer .. Howhow ,, sheshe wonderedwonder ,, mightmight sheshe looklook inin withoutwithout seemingseem nosynosy ?? Andand whatwhat wasbe itit sheshe wantedwant toto seesee ,, preciselyprecisely ?? Unableunable toto answeranswer herher ownown questionsquestion ,, sheshe turnedturn backback withoutwithout approachingapproach thethe Villavilla .. Itit wasbe stillstill therethere !! Thatthat wasbe whatwhat matteredmatter .. Andand thethe Parkpark wasbe beingbe beautifullybeautifully maintainedmaintain ;; thethe treestree werebe notnot beingbe needlesslyneedlessly felledfell ;; thethe formalformal gardengarden thatthat girdledgirdle thethe househouse retainedretain allall itsits statuarystatuary .. â¦â¦ Itit wasbe middaymidday byby thethe timetime Missmiss Danzigerdanziger walkedwalk throughthrough thethe entranceentrance ofof Thethe Tamariskstamarisk .. Thethe rainrain hadhave stoppedstop .. Sheshe wouldwould changechange out of outout ofof herher wetwet clothesclothes beforebefore goinggo intointo Gullshavengullshaven toto thethe museummuseum ,, sheshe decideddecide .. "" Svendsvend Larsenlarsen rangring !! Itit cacan n'tnot bebe more than moremore thanthan threethree minutesminute agoago .. Hehe wasbe wantingwant toto knowknow whetherwhether hehe couldcould expectexpect youyou forfor lunchlunch .. "" Frufru Møllermøller wasbe atat herher deskdesk ,, "" onon thethe bridgebridge "" ,, asas sheshe expressedexpress itit .. "" Hehe knowsknow Ii alwaysalways visitvisit thethe museummuseum onon Tuesdaytuesday .. "" "" Wellwell ,, Missmiss Danzigerdanziger ,, youyou mustmust allowallow itit isbe ratherrather unusualunusual forfor guestsguest toto keepkeep engagementsengagement fromfrom oneone yearyear toto thethe nextnext ,, asas youyou dodo .. Shallshall Ii telephonetelephone himhim backback andand confirmconfirm ?? "" "" Ii wouldwould bebe mostmuch obligedobliged ifif youyou wouldwould bebe soso kindkind .. Telltell himhim Ii 'mbe planningplan toto catchcatch thethe 12.3012.30 fromfrom Lakesidelakeside .. "" Itit isbe impossibleimpossible onon Mønmøn toto bebe farfar fromfrom thethe sightsight andand soundsound ofof lappinglapping waterwater .. Missmiss Danzigerdanziger waitedwait atat thethe placeplace knownknow asas Lakesidelakeside atat Stst Lundlund ,, wherewhere smallsmall craftcraft poachedpoach alongsidealongside thethe roadroad .. Therethere wasbe nono bus-stopbus-stop asas suchsuch ;; therethere wasbe nono needneed :: everyoneeveryone inin thethe areaarea knewknow thisthis wasbe thethe placeplace atat whichwhich publicpublic transporttransport putput downdown andand pickedpick upup .. Justjust asas thethe busbus appearedappear onon thethe horizonhorizon ,, aa peasantpeasant womanwoman emergedemerge ,, seeminglyseemingly fromfrom thinthin airair .. "" Wouldwould youyou makemake aa smallsmall detourdetour forfor meme ?? "" sheshe askedask thethe driverdriver .. "" Howhow smallsmall ?? "" hehe enquiredenquire andand ,, onon beingbe toldtell ,, agreedagree .. Thethe detourdetour wasbe toto Holmstroydholmstroyd andand involvedinvolve stoppingstop atat thethe jettyjetty .. Fromfrom herehere thethe hullhull ofof thethe fishermen'sfisherman boatboat ,, lashedlash byby thethe highhigh seassea thethe previousprevious dayday ,, couldcould bebe seensee ditchedditch onon aa groupgroup ofof rocksrock toto oneone sideside ofof thethe tinytiny baybay .. Thethe hullhull wasbe unrecognisableunrecognisable asas suchsuch ;; halfhalf out of outout ofof waterwater itit becamebecome unidentifiableunidentifiable debrisdebris .. Thethe waveswave thatthat hadhave depositeddeposit thethe hullhull andand brokenbroken mastsmast hadhave carriedcarry withwith themthem aa bodybody ââ thatthat ofof thethe onlyonly widowerwidower on board onon boardboard .. Newsnews ofof thisthis discoverydiscovery hadhave travelledtravel quicklyquickly toto thethe wiveswife ofof thethe sevenseven otherother fishermenfisherman ,, andand Elisabethelisabeth sawsee thatthat theythey werebe alreadyalready groupedgroup togethertogether onon thethe shoreshore .. Balticbaltic fishermen'sfisherman wiveswife werebe schooledschool forfor disasterdisaster ;; marryingmarry aa fishermanfisherman wasbe notnot toto launchlaunch lifelife onon aa smoothsmooth certaintycertainty .. Thethe womenwoman stoodstand inin silencesilence ,, gladglad ofof each other eacheach other'sother presencepresence andand withoutwithout thethe needneed toto saysay asas muchmuch .. Undund zuzu demdem Strandstrand â¦â¦ Thethe stormstorm hadhave passedpass andand donedo itsits worstbad ;; nownow thethe womenwoman gatheredgather ,, dresseddress alikealike inin fullfull darkdark skirtsskirt andand tucked-intucked-in blousesblouse ,, shawlsshawl pulledpull overover theirtheir headshead ââ re-enactingre-enacting aa paintingpainting byby Krøyerkrøyer ,, theirtheir eyeseye fixedfix onon thethe seasea .. Elisabethelisabeth feltfeel disorientateddisorientated .. Wasbe thisthis aa picturepicture ?? Wasbe thisthis aa performanceperformance ?? Sheshe hadhave witnessedwitness thisthis eventevent beforebefore .. Repeatedlyrepeatedly .. Wiederwieder ,, wiederwieder â¦â¦ Elisabethelisabeth diddo notnot enterenter thethe museummuseum at once atat onceonce ,, butbut lingeredlinger inin thethe courtyardcourtyard .. Sheshe stoodstand fingeringfinger thethe tressestress ofof thethe willowwillow ,, branchesbranch ofof whichwhich weptweep overover thethe upturnedupturned hullhull ofof aa boatboat ,, whichwhich hadhave beenbe dugdig out of outout ofof thethe peatpeat bogbog toto thethe northnorth ofof thethe islandisland andand wasbe permanentlypermanently onon displaydisplay .. "" Muchmuch perishesperish ,, of course ofof coursecourse ,, butbut ,, happilyhappily ,, somethingsomething alwaysalways survivessurvive !! "" Elisabethelisabeth hadhave notnot heardhear Svendsvend Larsenlarsen approachapproach ;; atat thethe soundsound ofof hishis voicevoice sheshe turnedturn toto faceface himhim .. "" Ii 'mbe sorrysorry !! Ii 'mbe a little aa littlelittle latelate .. Thethe busbus mademake aa detourdetour .. Holmstroydholmstroyd .. Ii gotget distracteddistract .. Thosethose poorpoor waitingwaiting womenwoman â¦â¦ "" "" Yesyes .. Wewe dodo seemseem destineddestine asas ana islandisland forfor thesethese tragediestragedy .. Theythey comecome alongalong allall tootoo regularlyregularly .. Thethe Balticbaltic 'sbe ana oceanicoceanic gravegrave .. "" Thethe curatorcurator urgedurge hishis visitorvisitor towardstowards thethe openopen doorsdoor ofof hishis museummuseum :: "" Comecome !! Letlet 'sus eateat !! "" Svendsvend Larsenlarsen pushedpush aa pilepile ofof paperspaper toto oneone sideside ofof hishis deskdesk ,, tooktake aa platterplatter ofof openopen sandwichessandwich fromfrom thethe toptop ofof hishis bookcasebookcase andand setset itit downdown betweenbetween Elisabethelisabeth andand himselfhimself .. Hehe pouredpour icediced lagerlager fromfrom canscan .. "" Ii havehave soso muchmuch newnew toto showshow youyou !! Wewe hadhave ana extraordinaryextraordinary strokestroke ofof luckluck lastlast yearyear .. Justjust afterafter youyou leftleave .. D'do youyou rememberremember Ii showedshow youyou aa manuscriptmanuscript ââ itit mustmust 'vehave beenbe somesome yearsyear agoago ,, nownow ââ purportingpurport toto bebe byby somesome marinermariner whowho rememberedremember ana Englishenglish cargocargo boatboat havinghave gonego downdown betweenbetween usus ,, herehere atat Mønmøn ,, andand Malmomalmo ââ duringduring thethe Firstfirst Schleswigschleswig Warwar ?? Wellwell ,, aa freakfreak maelstrommaelstrom hithit usus lastlast Septemberseptember andand drovedrive wreckagewreckage intointo thethe baybay atat Moltkemoltke ,, wherewhere aa groupgroup ofof Germangerman amateuramateur diversdiver werebe campingcamping .. Theythey camecome acrossacross aa casecase ofof Englishenglish potterypottery andand porcelainporcelain onon oneone ofof theirtheir sortiessortie andand werebe goodgood enoughenough toto letlet meme knowknow aboutabout itit .. Looklook !! "" Andand Svendsvend Larsenlarsen pulledpull aa cupcup andand saucersaucer fromfrom aa drawerdrawer inin hishis deskdesk .. "" Looklook atat thisthis !! Itit 'sbe Sunderlandsunderland ,, andand afterafter aboutabout aa hundredhundred andand twentytwenty yearsyear underunder thethe seasea ,, thethe lustrelustre 'sbe stillstill lustrouslustrous !! "" Elisabethelisabeth heldhold thethe cupcup andand saucersaucer andand examinedexamine itsits luminousluminous pinkpink .. "" Butbut thethe thingthing thatthat breaksbreak mymy heartheart "" ,, thethe curatorcurator continuedcontinue ,, "" isbe thatthat therethere werebe booksbook on board onon boardboard andand ,, of course ofof coursecourse ,, thethe seasea 'sbe onlyonly leftleft indecipherableindecipherable leatherleather spinesspine .. â¦â¦ Wewe 'llwill nevernever knowknow eveneven whatwhat titlestitle werebe beingbe shippedship .. â¦â¦ Coffeecoffee ?? "" Larsenlarsen talkedtalk enthusiasticallyenthusiastically aboutabout hishis smallsmall teamteam ofof volunteervolunteer diversdiver ,, aboutabout theirtheir findsfind ,, aboutabout hishis plansplan forfor thethe museummuseum .. Itit wasbe obviousobvious thatthat hishis enthusiasmenthusiasm nevernever leftleave himhim timetime toto concentrateconcentrate onon eatingeating .. Asas hehe ateeat ,, hehe openedopen andand closedclose drawersdrawer ,, hehe examinedexamine paperspaper andand objectsobject onon hishis deskdesk :: "" Ii 'llwill letlet youyou looseloose inin thethe westwest gallerygallery andand catchcatch youyou upup atat thethe doordoor toto thethe stock-roomstock-room .. Ii mustmust explainexplain mymy ruseruse forfor prisingprise soso muchmuch stuffstuff ââ goodgood stuffstuff ââ out of outout ofof thethe islandersislander .. "" Elisabethelisabeth wanderedwander betweenbetween piecespiece ofof furniturefurniture andand medievalmedieval sculpturesculpture retrievedretrieve fromfrom farmhousesfarmhouse andand churcheschurch .. Althoughalthough Larsenlarsen moremuch oftenoften thanthan notnot returnedreturn ecclesiasticecclesiastic itemsitem toto hallowedhallowed groundground ,, hehe keptkeep somesome piecespiece inin thethe museummuseum toto demonstratedemonstrate thethe sharedshared aestheticaesthetic dimensiondimension ofof thethe pastpast .. Itit wasbe somethingsomething hehe wantedwant notnot onlyonly toto preservepreserve butbut somehowsomehow toto reviverevive .. Elisabethelisabeth stoppedstop toto examineexamine thethe contentscontent ofof aa casecase containingcontain thethe paraphernaliaparaphernalia ofof marriagemarriage andand itsits consummationconsummation ,, representedrepresent byby illuminatedilluminated bondsbond exchangedexchange betweenbetween familiesfamily ,, andand littlelittle crownscrown wornwear byby thethe islandisland bridesbride .. Babies'baby christeningchristening robesrobe werebe particularlyparticularly affectingaffecting ;; theythey mightmight havehave beenbe blownblow togethertogether byby aa softsoft breezebreeze ,, soso invisibleinvisible wasbe theirtheir stitchingstitching .. Thethe swan-whiteswan-white robesrobe werebe notnot thethe possessionspossession ofof singlesingle familiesfamily butbut ofof thethe communitycommunity ,, andand everyevery mothermother whosewhose infantinfant worewear aa roberobe mademake andand sewedsew aa tinytiny bowbow toto thethe backback ofof thethe garmentgarment ,, so that soso thatthat itit mightmight bebe recordedrecord howhow manymany infantsinfant hadhave beenbe christenedchristen inin itit .. Elisabethelisabeth couldcould rememberremember whenwhen batteriebatterie dede cuisinecuisine actuallyactually lookedlook likelike thethe toolstool ofof aa realreal tradetrade .. Sheshe hadhave seensee inin herher youngyoung daysday thethe islandisland womenwoman carrycarry brassbrass bottomlessbottomless bowlsbowl onon theirtheir headshead toto supportsupport thethe oldold churnschurn inin whichwhich theythey delivereddeliver milkmilk .. Andand sheshe herselfherself hadhave urgedurge onon thethe flamesflame ofof thethe drawing-roomdrawing-room firefire withwith aa goose-feathergoose-feather fanfan ,, likelike thethe oneone inin thethe glassglass casecase .. Thatthat samesame designdesign ofof fanfan wasbe inin useuse fivefive hundredhundred yearsyear agoago onon Mønmøn :: therethere wasbe oneone inin thethe frescosfresco atat Sandwegsandweg .. â¦â¦ Andand therethere wasbe thethe deliverydelivery tabletable !! Elisabethelisabeth recalledrecall thethe timestime sheshe hadhave seensee thethe midwifemidwife arrivearrive atat aa peasant'speasant cottagecottage .. â¦â¦ Whenwhen sheshe wasbe quitequite smallsmall sheshe hadhave beenbe surprisedsurprised toto seesee thethe womanwoman carryingcarry aa foldedfolded tabletable andand aa Gladstonegladstone bagbag .. Annaanna hadhave explainedexplain ,, andand itit hadhave givengive herher thethe opportunityopportunity toto describedescribe detailsdetail herher daughterdaughter foundfind miraculousmiraculous .. Andand stillstill diddo !! Elisabeth'selisabeth pacepace slowedslow .. Sheshe wasbe inin somethingsomething ofof aa dazedaze .. Allall thatthat Englishenglish chinachina ,, potterypottery andand glassglass !! Howhow strangestrange thatthat sincesince thethe eighteentheighteenth centurycentury thethe peasantspeasant ofof Mønmøn hadhave hadhave aa tastetaste forfor Englishenglish wareware .. Whatwhat aa peculiarpeculiar exchangeexchange itit hadhave beenbe :: herringherring forfor thethe tabletable againstagainst tablewaretableware .. â¦â¦ Thethe museummuseum wasbe emptyempty ofof visitorsvisitor andand crowdedcrowd withwith objectsobject .. Allall thesethese thingsthing !! Elisabethelisabeth thoughtthink ,, andand thethe thoughtsthought tumbledtumble aboutabout inin herher headhead inin perpetualperpetual motionmotion .. Herher legsleg broughtbring herher toto aa halthalt in front of inin frontfront ofof aa glassglass casecase containingcontain aa Leedsleeds dinner-servicedinner-service .. Thethe creamycreamy glazeglaze shoneshine as if asas ifif withwith somesome innerinner lightlight .. Thethe wholewhole collectioncollection wasbe setset offoff byby thethe saxe-bluesaxe-blue Jacobeanjacobean embroideryembroidery thrownthrow overover thethe shelvesshelf onon whichwhich thethe piecespiece werebe carefullycarefully arrangedarrange .. Aa neatlyneatly printedprinted cardcard ,, discreetlydiscreetly placedplace atat thethe hemhem ofof thethe embroideryembroidery ,, toldtell thatthat thethe contentscontent ofof thethe casecase hadhave beenbe donateddonate byby Jurgenjurgen Danzigerdanziger ,, inin 19331933 .. Aa neighbouringneighbouring casecase ,, whichwhich Elisabethelisabeth tooktake intointo herher fieldfield ofof visionvision withoutwithout movingmove ,, wasbe devoteddevoted toto threethree Hispanahispana Moresquemoresque platesplate showingshow threethree differentdifferent viewsview ofof thethe synagoguesynagogue atat Toledotoledo .. Aa similarsimilar cardcard indicatedindicate thatthat thethe platesplate hadhave beenbe donateddonate byby Horsthorst Eberhardteberhardt ,, inin 19331933 .. Thethe stillnessstillness ,, thethe coolcool ,, thethe quietquiet ofof thethe buildingbuilding allall combinedcombine toto produceproduce ana effecteffect thatthat wasbe overwhelmingoverwhelming andand gavegive riserise toto aa feelingfeeling ofof expectationexpectation .. Elisabethelisabeth closedclose herher eyeseye .. Sheshe waitedwait .. Butbut asas sheshe waitedwait ana obstinatelyobstinately persistentpersistent soundsound filledfill herher headhead ,, drovedrive itselfitself fromfrom earear toto earear ,, settledsettle overover herher eyeseye andand seepedseep throughthrough toto fillfill thethe wholewhole arenaarena ofof herher craniumcranium .. Thisthis dreadfuldreadful invasioninvasion wasbe oneone withwith whichwhich sheshe wasbe familiarfamiliar :: somethingsomething betweenbetween aa humhum andand aa buzzbuzz ,, andand terrifyingterrifying forfor beingbe unresponsiveunresponsive toto anyany attemptattempt toto silencesilence itit .. Sheshe mustmust waitwait .. Sheshe mustmust waitwait ââ asas sheshe hadhave toto whenwhen pursuedpursue byby thethe soundsound atat nightnight ââ forfor itit toto passpass .. Steppingstep backback fromfrom thethe displaydisplay cabinetscabinet ,, hopinghope toto sitsit downdown onon thethe window-seatwindow seat ,, sheshe mademake aa falsefalse movemove andand bumpedbump intointo somethingsomething coldcold .. Shockedshocked ,, sheshe turnedturn .. Confusedconfused ,, sheshe heardhear herher ownown voicevoice crycry outout :: "" Aa minemine !! "" Butbut thethe objectobject wasbe aa coppercopper schnappsschnapps stillstill .. according to Accordingaccording toto thethe printedprinted cardcard itit hadhave ,, untiluntil quitequite recentlyrecently ,, beenbe inin (( illegalillegal )) serviceservice onon aa farmfarm nearnear Marienborgmarienborg .. Thethe oldold farmer'sfarmer daughterdaughter hadhave donateddonate itit togethertogether withwith thethe notebooknotebook thethe farmerfarmer (( andand hishis fatherfather beforebefore himhim )) hadhave keptkeep ofof hishis salessale andand receiptsreceipt .. "" Arebe youyou all right allall rightright ?? "" Svendsvend hadhave comecome quicklyquickly .. "" of course Ofof coursecourse !! Thisthis wasbe n'tnot herehere lastlast yearyear !! "" Hehe shuntedshunt thethe stillstill intointo aa cornercorner withwith hishis footfoot .. Takingtake hishis visitorvisitor byby thethe armarm ,, hehe walkedwalk herher slowlyslowly alongalong thethe corridorcorridor .. "" Ii mustmust explainexplain howhow Ii 'vehave managedmanage toto accumulateaccumulate allall thisthis newnew stuffstuff .. Asas youyou knowknow ,, mymy intentionintention isbe toto havehave aa perfectperfect recordrecord ofof thethe islandisland fromfrom prehistoricprehistoric toto presentpresent timestime .. Youyou seesee thisthis ?? Colonelcolonel Jensenjensen hashave givengive usus oneone casecase ofof fossilsfossil andand promisespromise usus moremore .. Ii dodo n'tnot wantwant toto survivesurvive onlyonly onon donationsdonation ,, butbut wewe justjust dodo n'tnot havehave thethe resourcesresource toto buybuy muchmuch .. Thesethese fossilsfossil ,, for example forfor exampleexample ,, dodo n'tnot rewriterewrite ourour historyhistory butbut theythey dodo illustrateillustrate itit usefullyusefully .. Thethe hugehuge oneone over there overover therethere isbe hishis ,, tootoo .. Andand hehe 'sbe mountedmount somesome ofof hishis mothsmoth forfor usus .. â¦â¦ Looklook !! "" Elisabethelisabeth stoppedstop toto examineexamine aa stonestone thethe dimensionsdimension ofof aa child'schild bicyclebicycle wheelwheel ,, inin whichwhich aa hugehuge ammoniteammonite wasbe embeddedembedded .. "" Ii 'mbe goinggo toto enlargeenlarge bothboth thethe geologicalgeological roomroom andand thethe botanicalbotanical roomroom ,, "" Svendsvend continuedcontinue ,, barelybarely stoppingstop toto taketake breathbreath .. "" Aa botanicalbotanical illustratorillustrator whowho 'sbe retiredretire herehere isbe fillingfill inin somesome ofof thethe gapsgap inin ourour plantplant andand treetree recordsrecord .. Butbut mymy strokestroke ofof geniusgenius ââ ifif youyou willwill allowallow ââ hashave beenbe findingfind aa wayway ofof gettingget thethe localslocal toto bequeathbequeath usus theirtheir familyfamily treasurestreasure .. Obviouslyobviously peoplepeople dodo n'tnot likelike toto partpart withwith theirtheir heirloomsheirloom ââ itit 'sbe likelike partingparting withwith somethingsomething ofof theirtheir existenceexistence ,, aa sortsort ofof deathdeath inin lifelife .. Butbut Ii seemseem toto havehave hithit onon aa compromisecompromise ,, aa wayway toto makemake themthem feelfeel theythey stillstill havehave aa stakestake inin thethe treasuretreasure ,, butbut in addition inin additionaddition ana enhancementenhancement ofof theirtheir family'sfamily reputationreputation .. "" Andand Svendsvend Larsenlarsen thrustthrust aa cataloguecatalogue intointo Elisabeth'selisabeth handshand .. "" Ii 'vehave givengive aa copycopy freefree toto everyoneeveryone whowho 'sbe donateddonate somethingsomething toto usus .. Youyou 'llwill seesee :: everyevery itemitem isbe illustratedillustrate andand captionedcaption withwith thethe namename ofof thethe donordonor byby itsits sideside ,, hishis oror herher addressaddress ,, andand thethe datedate ofof presentationpresentation .. Thisthis wayway thethe islandersislander feelfeel thatthat theythey andand theirtheir familyfamily havehave acquiredacquire immortalityimmortality .. Itit 'sbe workedwork wonderswonder !! "" Andand soso sayingsay ,, Svendsvend Larsenlarsen threwthrow openopen thethe doorsdoor ofof thethe stock-roomstockroom wherewhere stacksstack ofof tea-cheststea chests ,, manymany unopenedunopened ,, borebear witnesswitness toto thethe successsuccess ofof hishis operationoperation .. "" Ii 'vehave triedtry toto impressimpress onon peoplepeople -- Ii gogo roundround thethe schoolsschool andand catchcatch themthem youngyoung ââ thatthat ifif theythey dodo n'tnot leaveleave usus theirtheir stuffstuff ,, uncaringuncaring descendantsdescendant maymay simplysimply throwthrow outout aa tooltool ,, plateplate ,, picturepicture oror letterletter ,, preferringprefer toto havehave aa stainless-steelstainless-steel forkfork ,, aa plasticplastic plateplate ,, aa multiplemultiple â¦â¦ "" Thethe curatorcurator andand hishis visitorvisitor ambledamble throughthrough aa roomroom inin whichwhich traditionaltraditional Danishdanish paintedpainted furniturefurniture wasbe rangedrange .. "" Thesethese fifteenth-centuryfifteenth-century chestschest withwith theirtheir incisedincised shellshell patternpattern arebe peculiarpeculiar toto Mønmøn ââ Ii 'vehave notnot beenbe ableable toto discoverdiscover anyany onon thethe otherother islandsisland .. Soso tootoo isbe thisthis nineteenth-centurynineteenth-century bedbed .. Youyou noticenotice thethe designdesign ofof scabiousscabious andand vetchvetch andand orchidsorchid ââ withwith thethe insectsinsect thatthat dependdepend onon themthem ?? Looklook howhow itit 'sbe repeatedrepeat onon thethe hangingshanging .. "" Elisabethelisabeth hadhave noticednotice .. Behindbehind ,, onon thethe whitewashedwhitewashed wallswall ,, herher attentionattention hadhave beenbe caughtcatch byby coarselycoarsely paintedpaint ,, evocativeevocative sea-sea andand landscapeslandscape .. "" Arebe anyany ofof thesethese byby namesname Ii knowknow ?? "" "" Jarljarl Jacobsenjacobsen ââ oldold Mothermother Jacobsen'sjacobsen fatherfather ââ diddo thatthat .. "" Andand hehe pointedpoint toto aa thickthick impastoimpasto ofof ragingraging waveswave .. "" Itit 'sbe thethe stretchstretch ofof waterwater Mariemarie Grubbegrubbe rowedrow .. Ii 'mbe toldtell thatthat thethe dayday hehe broughtbring itit inin ââ aa goodgood twentytwenty yearsyear agoago ââ hehe saidsay thatthat becausebecause hishis daughterdaughter wasbe blindblind therethere wasbe nono pointpoint inin itsits remainingremain inin thethe cottagecottage .. Hehe saidsay hehe 'dhave hunghang aa papier mâché papierpapier mâchémâché traytray inin itsits placeplace soso sheshe 'dwould notnot feelfeel thethe absenceabsence ofof thethe picturepicture .. Ii 'vehave alwaysalways foundfind itit ratherrather sadsad thatthat aa manman couldcould produceproduce somethingsomething asas evocativeevocative asas thisthis andand alsoalso produceproduce aa childchild whowho couldcould notnot appreciateappreciate it.it. ,, "" Arebe thesethese rugsrug andand thatthat tabletable fromfrom Ellingelling ,, tootoo ?? Theythey 'rebe soso likelike thosethose inin Mothermother Jacobsen'sjacobsen cottagecottage .. "" "" Yesyes .. Theythey couldcould havehave beenbe mademake byby thethe samesame craftsmancraftsman .. Willwill youyou bebe goinggo toto Ellingelling onon Fridayfriday ?? "" "" of course Ofof coursecourse !! "" Havinghave completedcomplete aa tourtour ofof thethe museummuseum ,, Elisabethelisabeth andand Svendsvend foundfind themselvesthemselves backback inin Svend'ssvend officeoffice ,, wherewhere freshfresh coffeecoffee hadhave beenbe placedplace byby ana unseenunseen handhand .. Svendsvend pulledpull outout aa chairchair forfor hishis visitorvisitor .. "" Ii knowknow youyou dodo n'tnot carecare forfor thisthis topictopic ofof conversationconversation butbut Ii 'mbe goinggo toto bringbring itit upup againagain ,, neverthelessnevertheless .. Ii 'mbe goinggo toto begbeg youyou toto reconsiderreconsider .. â¦â¦ Willwill youyou allowallow meme toto displaydisplay youryour pre-warpre-war researchesresearch andand youryour drawingsdrawing andand youryour photographsphotograph ?? Ii wasbe lookinglook throughthrough thethe materialmaterial againagain lastlast nightnight :: itit 'sbe uniqueunique !! Itit 'sbe thethe firstfirst attemptattempt toto bringbring togethertogether allall thethe strandsstrand ofof thisthis island'sisland lifelife .. Itit wasbe ana ambitiousambitious projectproject forfor suchsuch youngyoung peoplepeople toto embarkembark onon andand itit workedwork beautifullybeautifully .. Becausebecause youyou producedproduce itit onon looseloose pagespage Ii couldcould exhibitexhibit itit monthmonth byby monthmonth asas youyou organisedorganise itit .. Ii understandunderstand perfectlyperfectly youryour desiredesire forfor anonymityanonymity .. Butbut wouldwould youyou agreeagree nownow ,, after all afterafter allall thesethese yearsyear ,, toto letlet meme displaydisplay thethe workwork ifif Ii merelymerely creditcredit itit toto EDed andand DEde ?? "" "" Whywhy wouldwould youyou needneed toto drawdraw attentionattention toto thethe initialsinitial ?? "" "" Partlypartly becausebecause theythey appearappear onon thethe individualindividual pagespage -- andand partlypartly becausebecause ,, ifif Ii dodo n'tnot acknowledgeacknowledge authorshipauthorship inin somesome wayway oror otherother ,, Ii shallshall bebe inundatedinundate withwith enquiriesenquiry .. Everythingeverything elseelse isbe acknowledgedacknowledge .. Butbut restrest assuredassured :: today'stoday publicpublic wouldwould makemake nothingnothing ofof EDed andand DEde ,, andand Ii promisepromise Ii shallshall givegive nothingnothing furtherfar awayaway .. Ii wouldwould simplysimply placeplace aa cardcard withwith thethe initialsinitial andand datesdate 19211921 -- 19391939 alongsidealongside thethe materialmaterial ââ asas Ii 'vehave donedo withwith thethe otherother exhibitsexhibit Andand Ii 'dwould likelike toto placeplace itit allall betweenbetween thethe Danzigerdanziger andand Eberhardteberhardt donationsdonation .. "" Svendsvend Larsenlarsen wasbe beingbe courteouscourteous butbut insistentinsistent .. "" Dodo Ii havehave youryour permissionpermission ?? Ifif soso Ii proposepropose toto installinstall itit tonighttonight andand inviteinvite youyou alongalong toto seesee itit andand makemake suggestionssuggestion beforebefore youyou leaveleave .. "" "" Ii reallyreally dodo n'tnot knowknow whatwhat toto saysay .. Itit wouldwould bebe churlishchurlish toto refuserefuse youyou .. Andand certainlycertainly ,, ifif itit enhancesenhance appreciationappreciation ofof Mønmøn ,, itit wouldwould bebe churlishchurlish toto refuserefuse thethe islandisland .. Youyou knowknow whatwhat mymy reasonsreason havehave beenbe inin thethe pastpast :: Ii justjust dodo n'tnot wantwant toto provokeprovoke interestinterest inin myselfmyself .. Ii couldcould n'tnot copecope withwith itit .. Butbut Ii supposesuppose youyou 'rebe rightright :: thethe publicpublic isbe n'tnot goinggo toto noticenotice andand thosethose whowho knowknow meme .. â¦â¦ Andand thethe materialmaterial certainlycertainly belongsbelong herehere .. Gogo aheadahead !! Ifif thatthat 'sbe whatwhat youyou wantwant forfor thethe museummuseum .. Youyou havehave mymy permissionpermission !! Butbut Ii doubtdoubt thatthat Ii shallshall comecome alongalong andand seesee itit ââ thisthis yearyear .. Ii leaveleave onon Sundaysunday andand Ii havehave mymy timetabletimetable .. Asas youyou knowknow ,, Ii 'mbe notnot renownedrenowned forfor flexibilityflexibility .. "" Sheshe hadhave attemptedattempt aa jokejoke ,, butbut neitherneither Svendsvend nornor sheshe smiledsmile .. Svendsvend thankedthank herher warmlywarmly andand talkedtalk aboutabout nextnext yearyear ;; sheshe wouldwould seesee thethe exhibitexhibit thenthen ,, andand hehe wouldwould welcomewelcome anyany suggestionssuggestion sheshe hadhave forfor itsits displaydisplay .. Therethere wouldwould bebe aa newnew cataloguecatalogue inin fivefive yearsyear .. â¦â¦ Occasionallyoccasionally ,, andand thisthis wasbe suchsuch ana occasionoccasion ,, Elisabethelisabeth Danzigerdanziger experiencedexperience aa feelingfeeling ofof disorientationdisorientation soso powerfulpowerful asas toto renderrender herher environmentenvironment totallytotally unfamiliarunfamiliar .. Itit wasbe as if asas ifif somesome authoritativeauthoritative beingbeing hadhave decideddecide thatthat fromfrom thatthat momentmoment thethe namesname thatthat hadhave appliedapply toto suchsuch objectsobject asas soapsoap ,, cheesecheese ,, treetree oror bookbook werebe toto bebe exchangedexchange forfor othersother ,, andand allall signssign ofof delightdelight registeredregister byby tempertemper tantrumstantrum .. Sheshe wasbe standingstand atat thethe busbus stationstation .. Youthsyouth inin sweaterssweater withwith numbersnumber andand initialsinitial blazenedblazened onon theirtheir chestschest lolledloll againstagainst bus-stopsbus-stop ,, wallswall andand aa stationarystationary busbus ;; aa toddlertoddler suckedsuck onon ana iceice lollylolly .. Thethe soundssound ofof Danishdanish mingledmingle withwith thosethose ofof knivesknife drawndraw acrossacross aa plateplate ,, thethe screechscreech ofof jaysjay ,, andand thethe buzzbuzz andand humhum thatthat roserise fromfrom withinwithin herher andand oustedoust herher tranquillitytranquillity .. Sheshe knewknow thatthat sheshe mustmust boardboard aa busbus .. Sheshe wouldwould concentrateconcentrate onon thatthat .. Allall elseelse wasbe foreignforeign ,, strangestrange ,, unexpectedunexpected .. Sheshe mustmust getget backback toto Thethe Tamariskstamarisk .. Herher bladderbladder wasbe fullfull .. Sheshe mightmight wetwet thethe seatseat .. Andand werebe aa screamscream toto riserise inin herher ,, wouldwould sheshe managemanage toto suppresssuppress itit beforebefore itit shotshoot fromfrom herher mouthmouth ?? Thethe busbus ticketticket :: itit hadhave toto bebe boughtbuy .. Diddo sheshe buybuy itit fromfrom ana officeoffice somewheresomewhere ?? Oror thethe busbus driverdriver ?? "" Ahah !! Missmiss Danzigerdanziger !! Youyou 'rebe backback inin timetime forfor teatea !! "" Frufru Møllermøller wasbe "" onon thethe bridgebridge "" ,, attendingattend toto somesome paperspaper .. "" Willwill youyou taketake itit inin thethe drawing-roomdrawing-room withwith ourour otherother guestsguest ?? "" Sheshe mustmust notnot saysay nono ,, mustmust notnot revealreveal howhow absurdabsurd itit wasbe toto "" taketake "" teatea inin aa "" drawingdrawing "" roomroom .. Wherewhere wouldwould theythey bebe takingtake itit toto andand whowho wouldwould bebe drawingdraw ?? Sheshe wouldwould pretendpretend notnot toto havehave noticednotice Frufru Møller'smøller absurditiesabsurdity .. Sheshe wasbe aa sillysilly womanwoman .. Thethe Colonelcolonel hadhave onceonce saidsay ,, "" Frufru Møllermøller hashave sacrificedsacrifice allall douceurdouceur dede vivrevivre toto socialsocial conformityconformity .. "" Thethe clocksclock werebe tickingtick strangelystrangely fortissimofortissimo andand Frufru Møllermøller diddo n'tnot eveneven noticenotice .. Danieldaniel pacedpace upup andand downdown thethe polishedpolished floorfloor fromfrom oneone endend ofof thethe longlong roomroom toto thethe otherother ;; hishis sentencessentence borebore thethe rehearsedrehearsed solemnitysolemnity ofof aa stagestage dramadrama .. Itit wasbe as if asas ifif aa geniusgenius creatorcreator ,, afterafter sixsix days'day labourlabour ,, hadhave becomebecome uninteresteduninterested inin hishis achievementachievement andand hadhave delegateddelegate responsibilityresponsibility forfor thethe rulerule andand administrationadministration ofof hishis workwork toto aa bandband ofof bureaucratsbureaucrat ââ aa tirelesstireless bunchbunch ofof imbecilesimbecile ,, lackinglack compassioncompassion ,, whowho justifiedjustify theirtheir rolerole inin thethe schemescheme ofof thingsthing byby ceaselesslyceaselessly inventinginvent trialstrial forfor manman ,, toto keepkeep himhim onon hishis toestoe .. Withoutwithout thethe emergenceemergence ofof Hitlerhitler andand hishis Nationalnational Socialistssocialist allall thatthat wasbe rottenrotten inin Germanygermany ,, thatthat hadhave beenbe positivelypositively fosteredfoster byby Romanticismromanticism andand encouragedencourage byby thethe humiliationhumiliation thatthat Germanygermany hadhave sufferedsuffer underunder thethe termsterm ofof thethe Treatytreaty ofof Versaillesversailles ââ racismracism ,, socialsocial Darwinismdarwinism ,, anti-intellectualismanti-intellectualism ,, phoneyphoney mysticismmysticism ââ mightmight havehave persistedpersist indefinitelyindefinitely andand graduallygradually eateneat awayaway thethe fabricfabric ofof thethe countrycountry andand itsits cultureculture ,, gonego unchallengedunchallenged byby thethe forcesforce ofof reasonreason ,, lainlie forfor allall timetime underunder layerslayer ofof sophistrysophistry .. â¦â¦ Youyou 'dwould havehave toto getget ridrid ofof aa lotlot ofof youryour assumptionsassumption beforebefore youyou couldcould fullyfully appreciateappreciate whywhy Ii couldcould n'tnot livelive withwith aa manman Ii dodo n'tnot lovelove ,, oror Ii dodo n'tnot thinkthink youyou couldcould everever understandunderstand whywhy Ii cacan n'tnot acceptaccept toto bebe maintainedmaintain ,, toto putput myselfmyself atat thethe disposaldisposal ofof anotheranother ,, bebe inin another'sanother companycompany twenty-fourtwenty-four hourshour aa dayday ,, shareshare another'sanother pleasurespleasure andand painspain ââ and so on andand soso onon .. "" "" â¦â¦ andand moreovermoreover thethe mostmuch gallantgallant gentlemangentleman ofof thethe realmrealm ,, andand thisthis wentgo onon untiluntil itit resultedresult inin aa divorcedivorce ,, andand afterafter aa secondsecond marriagemarriage ,, whichwhich wasbe likewiselikewise unhappyunhappy ,, sheshe enteredenter thethe marriedmarried estateestate forfor thethe thirdthird timetime withwith aa commoncommon tartar ,, withwith whomwhom ,, thoughthough hehe abusedabuse herher dailydaily ,, sheshe herselfherself saidsay thatthat sheshe livedlive inin muchmuch greatergreat contentcontent thanthan inin herher firstfirst marriagemarriage .. Soonsoon thethe piratespirate hadhave reachedreach thethe toptop ofof thethe streetstreet .. over there Overover therethere ,, beyondbeyond thethe churchchurch ,, isbe Witchballwitchball Streetstreet .. Thatthat 'sbe wherewhere mymy Auntaunt Clarabelclarabel liveslive .. Sheshe runsrun thethe Jollyjolly Jailorjailor Inninn .. "" "" Thatthat 'sbe thethe Baddie'sbaddie Towertower ,, "" saidsay Tomtom .. "" Itit 'sbe thethe towntown jailjail nownow .. "" "" Whatwhat elseelse isbe therethere toto seesee ,, Tomtom ?? "" Byby itit aa smallsmall crowdcrowd wasbe gatheredgathered .. Muttonmutton Esquireesquire ofof Muttonmutton Househouse ,, Bestgood Streetstreet .. Parsonparson Reverendreverend Solomonsolomon Slypeslype ,, DDdd .. Dragoonsdragoon Commandercommander Colonelcolonel Stodgestodge Braggart-Blodgebraggart-blodge .. eveneven convictedconvicted Miscreantsmiscreant includinginclude Pickpocketspickpocket Footpadsfootpad Piratespirate etcetc "" Soundssound riskyrisky toto meme ,, Cap'ncap'n ,, "" mutteredmutter Barnabasbarnabas .. Hehe 'sbe thethe veryvery manman forfor ourour purposepurpose .. Letlet usus inviteinvite himhim upup ,, Mrmr Slipshodslipshod .. "" Hehe touchedtouch Pugwashpugwash onon thethe armarm .. "" Coffeecoffee forfor thethe gentlemengentleman pleaseplease Mrmr Slipshodslipshod .. "" Whywhy ,, whateverwhatever isbe thethe mattermatter ,, Captaincaptain ?? "" Forfor Pugwashpugwash hadhave turnedturn deathlydeathly palepale andand seemedseem aboutabout toto faintfaint .. "" Itit wouldwould bebe yoursyours entirelyentirely ,, "" repliedreply thethe Mayormayor .. "" Mrmr Slipshodslipshod herehere hashave allall thethe detailsdetail .. Thethe restrest isbe up to upup toto youyou .. "" Arar ,, butbut whywhy usus ?? "" askedask Barnabasbarnabas suspiciouslysuspiciously .. Thethe Colonelcolonel awaitsawait youryour instructionsinstruction .. Andand Mrmr Slipshodslipshod slitheredslither backback intointo thethe Towntown Hallhall .. Hehe toldtell hishis auntaunt aboutabout itit .. Suresure enoughenough ,, downdown thethe stepsstep anotheranother groupgroup wasbe approachingapproach ,, andand Pugwashpugwash shookshake withwith frightfright asas hehe recognisedrecognise thethe heavyheavy shapeshape andand hugehuge beardbeard ofof hishis greatestgreat enemyenemy .. Wewe 'llwill waitwait herehere .. "" Thethe Frenchfrench craftcraft wasbe approachingapproach .. Supportsupport thethe Officialofficial MONSTERmonster RAVINGraving LOONIESloony DRAFTdraft MANIFESTOmanifesto FORfor GENERALgeneral ELECTIONelection 19921992 11 .. Newnew Financialfinancial Servicesservice Axeaxe :: Wewe willwill revitaliserevitalise Sectionsection 44 ofof thethe 19681968 Thefttheft Actact ,, i.e.i.e. thethe crimecrime ofof gaininggain propertyproperty andand pecuniarypecuniary advantageadvantage byby deceptiondeception ,, andand applyapply itit toto thethe activitiesactivity ofof Lifelife Assuranceassurance salesmensalesman .. 22 .. Blueblue Taxtax :: Seesee entryentry underunder Paulpaul Raymondraymond andand Assetasset Strippingstrip .. 33 .. Carcar Petpet Tackstack :: Allall formsform ofof fluffyfluffy dicedie ,, Garfieldgarfield thethe catcat andand otherother windowwindow devicesdevice ,, other than otherother thanthan Roadroad Taxtax ,, willwill bebe subject to subjectsubject toto thethe Punitivepunitive Licensinglicensing Ofof Non-Kineticnon-kinetic Essentialessential Roadroad Sundrysundry (( plonkersplonker )) Taxtax .. 44 .. Incomeincome Taxestax :: Pittpitt introducedintroduce incomeincome taxestax toto paypay forfor thethe Napoleonicnapoleonic Warswar .. Wewe herebyhereby declaredeclare thethe Napoleonicnapoleonic Warswar atat ana endend .. Incomeincome Taxtax willwill bebe abolishedabolish .. 55 .. Exciseexcise Dutyduty :: Taxtax toto paypay forfor ourour holidaysholiday abroadabroad ,, oror Governmentgovernment inin exileexile asas itit isbe moremuch appropriatelyappropriately knownknow ,, willwill bebe raisedraise fromfrom thethe equitableequitable basisbasis ofof ratingrating taxestax atat thethe pointpoint ofof salesale ,, oror inin thethe casecase ofof blueblue taxtax ,, seesee aboveabove ,, conspicuousconspicuous consummationconsummation .. Taxationtaxation onon petrolpetrol needneed notnot necessarilynecessarily bebe increasedincrease ,, butbut anti-socialanti-social devicesdevice such as suchsuch asas cigarettescigarette andand Australianaustralian soapssoap willwill bebe taxedtax out of outout ofof sightsight .. Aa furtherfar luxuryluxury Exciseexcise Dutyduty ofof 1010 %% willwill bebe assessedassess onon specificspecific expensiveexpensive carscar ,, whichwhich maymay happenhappen toto bebe importedimported carscar ,, butbut simplysimply coincidencecoincidence ,, boatsboat ,, fursfur andand electricalelectrical goodsgoods .. Serviceservice chargescharge forfor industryindustry ,, such as suchsuch asas telephonetelephone willwill increaseincrease atat aa greatergreat raterate thanthan thethe privateprivate consumerconsumer .. Howhow manymany votesvote wouldwould wewe getget fromfrom industryindustry ,, comparedcompare withwith membersmember ofof thethe publicpublic .. 66 .. Nationalnational Insuranceinsurance Contributionscontribution :: Thethe ceilingceiling onon Nationalnational Insuranceinsurance contributionscontribution willwill bebe removedremove ,, aa flatflat levylevy atat aa consistentconsistent raterate forfor allall earningsearning willwill bebe chargedcharge whateverwhatever thethe earningsearning .. 77 .. Maximummaximum Earningsearning :: Wewe willwill importimport aa maximummaximum earningsearning levellevel ofof ££ 125,000125,000 per annum perper annumannum forfor anyany oneone individualindividual asas drawingsdrawing oror incomeincome .. Thethe surplussurplus wouldwould havehave toto bebe retainedretain byby thethe Companycompany ,, andand thereforetherefore taxedtax atat Corporationcorporation Taxestax ratesrate .. Nono oneone personperson ,, other than otherother thanthan ourour representativesrepresentative isbe worthworth tenten timestime thethe nationalnational wagewage averageaverage .. 88 .. Pollutionpollution Taxtax :: Manymany ofof thethe unemployedunemployed incomeincome taxtax collectorscollector willwill bebe retrainedretrain asas Pollutionpollution Inspectorsinspector .. Theythey willwill bebe self-financingself-financing ,, sincesince wewe aimaim toto raiseraise 2020 billionbillion by way of byby wayway ofof pollutionpollution taxestax overover thethe firstfirst fivefive yearyear ofof Governmentgovernment .. SUMMARYsummary :: Thethe removalremoval ofof incomeincome taxtax andand punitivepunitive pollutionpollution taxtax onon manufacturingmanufacturing plantsplant ,, powerpower stationsstation ,, farmsfarm andand allall mannermanner ofof processingprocessing plantsplant ,, willwill bringbring aboutabout ana environmentalenvironmental friendlyfriendly off-shoreoff-shore financialfinancial servicesservice relatedrelated serviceservice satellitesatellite forfor Europeeurope .. Wewe wowill n'tnot actuallyactually makemake oror dodo anythinganything ,, butbut itit willwill bebe reallyreally neatneat lyinglying inin thethe meadowsmeadow thinkingthink aboutabout allall thethe moneymoney wewe arebe makingmake onon off-shoreoff-shore taxtax havenhaven relatedrelated businessbusiness .. 99 .. Caravancaravan Taxtax :: Allall caravanscaravan willwill bebe subject to subjectsubject toto aa ££ 250.00250.00 Roadroad Fundfund licencelicence dutyduty .. Anyany mobilemobile traffictraffic offenceoffence involvinginvolve aa caravancaravan willwill involveinvolve ana automaticautomatic fivefive yearyear banban fromfrom towingtow caravanscaravan inin thethe futurefuture .. Aa purchasepurchase taxtax ofof ££ 2,0002,000 shallshall bebe appliedapply toto allall newnew salessale ofof caravanscaravan .. Aa purchasepurchase taxtax ofof ££ 500.00500.00 shallshall applyapply toto allall second-handsecond-hand caravanscaravan salessale .. Thisthis actionaction willwill substantiallysubstantially improveimprove thethe economyeconomy byby :: Raisingraising fundsfund Reducingreduce thethe numbernumber ofof caravanscaravan towedtow ,, thereforetherefore increasingincreasing Guestguest Househouse andand Hotelhotel occupancyoccupancy ratesrate Clearclear thethe roadsroad ofof manymany ofof itsits traffictraffic jamsjam andand causescause ofof accidentsaccident Clearclear scenicscenic coastalcoastal viewsview ofof unsightlyunsightly sightssight sightedsight atat thethe seashoreseashore DEFENCEdefence :: Notnot guiltyguilty pleaplea :: Wewe wuswas bevviedNO_LEMMA_FORM_IDENTIFIED mu'ludmu'lud .. FOREIGNforeign POLICYpolicy :: 11 .. Allall overseasoverseas investmentsinvestment byby U.K.u.k. residentsresident shallshall bebe bannedban ,, i.e.i.e. therethere shallshall bebe nono foreignforeign policiespolicy .. 22 .. Foreignforeign policypolicy inin Europeeurope shouldshould againagain bebe leftleave inin thethe handshand ofof ourour establishedestablished ambassadorsambassador ,, Manchestermanchester Unitedunited ,, Liverpoolliverpool andand Arsenalarsenal .. Therethere willwill bebe thethe everever presentpresent riskrisk ofof sexualsexual blackmailblackmail ,, sincesince althoughalthough homosexualityhomosexuality appearsappear toto bebe compulsorycompulsory inin thethe Diplomaticdiplomatic Serviceservice ,, wewe believebelieve ourour forthrightforthright andand thrustingthrusting working-classworking-class boysboy willwill achieveachieve greatergreat penetrationpenetration inin Diplomaticdiplomatic circlescircle .. Wewe havehave somesome goodgood newsnews forfor Norbertnorbert Stilesstiles O.B.E.o.b.e. sincesince hehe willwill keepkeep itit tighttight atat thethe backback forfor ourour keykey diplomaticdiplomatic postingposting .. Thethe badbad newsnews isbe thatthat thethe postingposting toto Estudiantesestudiantes dede lala Plataplata .. 33 .. Ourour so called soso calledcalled independentindependent nuclearnuclear capacitycapacity shallshall bebe cancelledcancel .. Thethe realityreality ofof ourour interdependentinterdependent nuclearnuclear capacitycapacity shallshall bebe achievedachieve byby returningreturn thethe nuclearnuclear warheadswarhead toto Americaamerica ,, airmailairmail .. Callcall collectcollect .. Tridenttrident cancan bebe scrappedscrap .. Thethe onlyonly decentdecent forkfork inin historyhistory wasbe Mortensmortens Forkfork ,, usedused toto toasttoast thethe richrich andand prodprod thethe poorpoor on behalf of onon behalfbehalf ofof thatthat robbin'robbing hoodhood ,, Henryhenry Llewellynllewellyn Tudortudor VIIvii .. Puttingput Tridenttrident asideaside willwill thereforetherefore savesave aa lotlot ofof forkingfork aboutabout .. 44 .. Allall previousprevious secretsecret policemenpoliceman inin Easteast Germanygermany ,, Romaniaromania andand Czechoslovakiaczechoslovakia willwill bebe conscriptedconscript intointo serviceservice asas taxitaxi driversdriver .. Thisthis willwill easeease traffictraffic flowflow andand communicationscommunication sincesince passengerspassenger willwill onlyonly havehave toto givegive thethe namename ofof personperson theythey wishwish toto seesee ,, andand thethe taxitaxi driverdriver willwill notnot onlyonly immediatelyimmediately knowknow thethe destinationdestination ,, andand thatthat ofof hishis cousinscousin andand hishis workmatesworkmate .. Ifif thethe schemescheme isbe successfulsuccessful inin Europeeurope ,, wewe shallshall extendextend itit asas partpart ofof ourour domesticdomestic programmeprogramme forfor M.I.m.i. 55 andand M.I.m.i. 66 ,, therebythereby clearingclear thethe congestioncongestion onon thethe M.I.m.i. 2525 ,, M4m4 ,, M5m5 andand M1m1 .. DOMESTICdomestic AFFAIRSaffair :: Domesticdomestic affairsaffair shallshall bebe mademake aa criminalcriminal offenceoffence .. Thethe sanctitysanctity ofof marriagemarriage shouldshould notnot bebe transgressedtransgress ,, andand adulterersadulterer standstand thethe riskrisk ofof beingbe stonedstone â¦â¦ andand vice versa vicevice versaversa .. HOMEhome OFFICEoffice :: Racerace Relationsrelation :: (( ii )) Wewe shallshall introduceintroduce legislationlegislation toto decriminalisedecriminalise hottinghotting .. Innerinner citycity redevelopmentredevelopment facilitiesfacility willwill bebe availableavailable forfor tarmactarmac trackstrack ,, specificallyspecifically forfor thethe purposepurpose ofof hottinghotting .. Inin factfact ,, participantsparticipant ofof thisthis goodgood naturednatured andand innocentinnocent funfun cancan looklook forwardforward toto anythinganything up to upup toto oneone yearyear ofof freefree accommodationaccommodation ,, bedbed andand breakfastbreakfast andand securitysecurity providedprovide .. (( iiii )) Indigenousindigenous religionsreligion shallshall bebe toleratedtolerate ,, andand eveneven encouragedencourage inin ourour polytetheasticNO_LEMMA_FORM_IDENTIFIED societysociety .. Howeverhowever ,, wherewhere thethe activitiesactivity ofof oneone groupgroup restrictrestrict thethe freedomsfreedom ,, practicespractice andand conductconduct ofof anotheranother ,, such as suchsuch asas eventsevent inin Amritsaramritsar wewe shallshall clampclamp downdown ââ Sheikh/Sikhsheikh/sikh andand yeye shallshall bebe finedfine .. PUBLICpublic EXPENDITUREexpenditure :: Ifif thethe imbecilicimbecilic membersmember ofof thethe familyfamily cancan findfind nono usefuluseful occupationoccupation ,, andand Churchchurch ofof Englandengland stillstill refusesrefuse toto havehave themthem ,, thenthen wewe findfind mostmost ofof themthem dressingdress upup curiouscurious uniformsuniform ,, indulgingindulge inin unspecifiedunspecified sadosado- masochisticmasochistic ritualsritual ,, salutin'saluting andand marchin'marching .. Thisthis statestate ofof affairsaffair isbe inheritedinherit ,, consumingconsume ana awfulawful lotlot ofof thethe nation'snation grossgross domesticdomestic productproduct ,, withwith nono manufacturingmanufacturing outputoutput .. Wewe shallshall thereforetherefore convertconvert thisthis openopen asylumasylum ,, mainlymainly harmlessharmless ,, toto relayingrelay waterwater suppliessupply (( seesee Greengreen Issuesissue )) ,, sewagesewage andand drainagedrainage ,, roadwaysroadway andand canalscanal ,, railwaysrailway andand maintenancemaintenance ofof playgroupplaygroup exerciseexercise areasarea .. Wewe willwill thereforetherefore encourageencourage thethe militarymilitary toto changechange thethe habitshabit ofof aa lifetimelifetime andand bebe civilcivil .. GREENgreen ISSUESissue :: Anyany metropolismetropolis oror conurbationconurbation ,, wewe likelike bigbig wordsword ,, withwith aa populationpopulation ofof overover 50,00050,000 willwill byby lawlaw havehave toto havehave aa 7575 %% sewagesewage recyclerecycle programmeprogramme .. Thisthis isbe onlyonly currentlycurrently beingbe undertakenundertake inin certaincertain partspart ofof Westminsterwestminster .. Grantsgrant andand availableavailable technologytechnology shallshall bebe providedprovide forfor thethe avoidanceavoidance ofof thethe crazycrazy Victorianvictorian ideaidea ofof pumpingpump rawraw sewagesewage outout toto seasea .. Increasedincreased waterwater purificationpurification standardsstandard shallshall applyapply .. Allall waterwayswaterway shallshall bebe nationalisednationalise ,, thethe Landownerlandowner onlyonly ownsown thethe riverbedriverbed ,, andand notnot thethe waterwater andand fishfish whichwhich comecome andand gogo unlessunless saidsaid fishfish arebe taggedtag withwith thethe owner'sowner namename ,, addressaddress andand muzzledmuzzle ,, fishfish andand ownerowner .. Farmersfarmer shallshall bebe heavilyheavily finedfine forfor accidentalaccidental seepageseepage ofof silagesilage whenwhen ourour pollutionpollution inspectorsinspector (( taketake youyou outout ,, taketake youyou outout ,, inin thethe slurryslurry withwith thethe hingehinge unlockedunlock )) .. Toto regainregain thethe importanceimportance ofof Victorianvictorian valuesvalue ,, whichwhich seemsseem toto havehave slippedslip offoff thethe agendaagenda forfor mostmost majormajor partiesparty ,, wewe willwill reinstatereinstate hedgerowshedgerow andand forestedforested areasarea in accordance with inin accordanceaccordance withwith thethe Ordnanceordnance Surveysurvey mapmap ofof 18481848 .. Thisthis willwill provideprovide twotwo importantimportant advantagesadvantage :: (( aa )) Wewe havehave thethe opportunityopportunity ofof re-fightingrefight thethe Crimeancrimean Warwar ,, butbut asas wewe nevernever learnlearn fromfrom historyhistory ,, wewe arebe doomeddoom toto repeatrepeat ourour mistakesmistake ,, andand (( bb )) cutcut crimecrime figuresfigure inin thethe U.K.u.k. sincesince byby re-runningre-run thethe Crimeancrimean Warwar wewe maymay avoidavoid thethe inventioninvention ofof thethe balaclavabalaclava .. Albanianalbanian goldgold shallshall bebe returnedreturn toto thethe rightfulrightful Governmentgovernment ,, ifif theythey simplysimply givegive usus backback ourour battleshipsbattleship andand aa 9999 yearyear leaselease onon Southernsouthern Albaniaalbania ,, thethe areaarea withwith aa Greekgreek majoritymajority .. Thisthis landland willwill bebe rentedrent backback toto thethe Greekgreek Albanianalbanian majoritymajority in return for inin returnreturn forfor ana undertakingundertaking toto provideprovide cheapcheap andand pleasurablepleasurable Adriaticadriatic holidaysholiday inin ana otherwiseotherwise unexploitedunexploited areaarea .. Thisthis willwill putput thethe Albanianalbanian economyeconomy backback inin thethe blackblack ,, andand wewe getget thethe tanstan .. Sincesince thethe Greekgreek minorityminority wouldwould thenthen bebe excludedexclude fromfrom thethe restrest ofof Albaniaalbania thisthis isbe ana unusualunusual exampleexample ofof aa giftgift barringbarring Greeksgreek .. BANKSbank :: Banksbank shallshall bebe unableunable toto writewrite offoff ,, oror claimclaim reliefrelief againstagainst thethe firstfirst 1515 %% ofof anyany loanloan oror bankruptedbankrupted debtdebt leftleave withwith themthem .. Thisthis willwill introduceintroduce ana unfamiliarunfamiliar notenote ofof responsibilityresponsibility toto thethe lendinglending policypolicy ofof institutionsinstitution eveneven moremuch loonyloony thanthan ourour ownown .. Banksbank shallshall alsoalso bebe precludedpreclude fromfrom havinghave anyany interestinterest inin ,, sellingsell oror receivingreceive commissionscommission fromfrom Lifelife Assuranceassurance ,, Pensionspension andand investmentinvestment businessbusiness .. Theirtheir businessbusiness isbe thatthat ofof lendinglending moneymoney belowbelow thethe pointpoint ofof usuryusury ,, butbut aboveabove thethe pointpoint ofof boredomboredom ,, i.e.i.e. reasonablereasonable interestinterest ,, andand notnot insuranceinsurance salesmensalesman .. Insuranceinsurance salesmensalesman shallshall bebe bannedban .. Nono investmentinvestment contractcontract maymay bebe soldsell oror signedsign outside of outsideoutside ofof ana officeoffice placeplace .. Nono individualindividual cancan sellsell oror receivereceive commissioncommission onon investmentinvestment businessbusiness ,, unlessunless hehe hashave beenbe workingwork forfor thatthat samesame Companycompany forfor at least atat leastleast fivefive continuouscontinuous yearsyear .. Thethe Lifelife Companiescompany shallshall paypay aa levylevy ofof ££ 10,00010,000 per annum perper annumannum forfor eacheach appointedappointed representativerepresentative theythey employemploy .. Independentindependent financialfinancial advisersadviser shallshall paypay aa levylevy ofof ££ 5,0005,000 forfor eacheach independentindependent financialfinancial adviseradviser theythey employemploy .. Althoughalthough strictstrict licensinglicensing isbe thethe limitlimit ofof ourour intentintent atat thethe presentpresent ,, thethe industryindustry isbe putput onon guardguard andand attentionattention isbe drawndraw toto thethe Dangerousdangerous Dogsdog Legislationlegislation ,, withwith compulsorycompulsory muzzlingmuzzling andand neuteringneutering forfor persistentpersistent offendersoffender .. MOTORmotor INDUSTRYindustry :: Thethe Fordford Escortescort vanvan 13001300 c.c.c.c. engineengine withwith catalyticcatalytic exhaustexhaust shallshall bebe nationalisednationalise .. Thethe carcar shallshall bebe producedproduce inin constantconstant supplysupply ,, irrespective of irrespectiveirrespective ofof demanddemand ,, andand bebe mademake availableavailable atat incrediblyincredibly sillysilly pricesprice forfor allall worthyworthy organisationsorganisation ,, locallocal authoritiesauthority andand smallsmall businessesbusiness onon aa meansmean testedtest basisbasis .. Thethe Morrismorris Minorminor withwith ana 11001100 engineengine ,, butbut withwith originaloriginal chromechrome andand splitsplit windscreenwindscreen willwill alsoalso bebe re-introducedre-introduce onon aa massmass producedproduce basisbasis .. Statestate fundingfunding ofof thethe provisionprovision ofof mass-producedmass-produced easilyeasily accessibleaccessible vehiclesvehicle whichwhich cancan bebe adaptedadapt forfor disableddisabled useuse willwill givegive realreal mobilitymobility toto thethe peoplepeople ,, andand undermineundermine thethe expensiveexpensive importimport carcar marketmarket .. Looklook ,, ifif thethe Trabanttrabant cancan achieveachieve cultcult statusstatus â¦â¦ RESTITUTIONrestitution OFof PROPERTYproperty ACTact :: Gollumgollum mustmust givegive Siegfriedsiegfried hishis ringring backback .. HEADLINEheadline INFLATIONinflation :: Itit isbe truetrue thatthat headlineheadline inflationinflation hashave reducedreduce sincesince itit peakedpeak inin 19821982 withwith thethe infamousinfamous "" gotchagotcha "" .. MAINTENANCEmaintenance PAYMENTSpayment :: Bebe therethere whenwhen ourour enforcementenforcement officersofficer finallyfinally handhand Arniarni Sacknussensacknussen thethe writwrit forfor desertiondesertion andand fivefive yearsyear backback paymentspayment forfor maintenancemaintenance .. LIBERALliberal BLANDbland WAGONwagon :: Thethe factfact thatthat oneone ofof thethe mostmuch outstandingoutstanding cricketerscricketer ofof allall timetime wasbe Colincolin Blandbland ,, itit sayssay aa lotlot aboutabout cricketcricket asas ana athleticathletic andand grippinggripping sportsport .. Thisthis leadslead usus toto wallowwallow inin blandnessblandness along with alongalong withwith Marlonmarlon Blandoblando ,, holidaysholiday inin Bllandudnobllandudno ,, thethe constitutionalconstitutional fiascofiasco ofof callingcall thethe Electionelection datedate ââ Blandman'sblandman Bluffbluff .. "" Theythey bebe blandbland leadersleader ofof thethe blandbland .. Andand ifif thethe blandbland leadlead thethe blandbland ,, bothboth shallshall fallfall intointo thethe ditchditch "" .. GREENgreen ISSUESissue :: Lettucelettuce withwith aa gladsomegladsome mindmind ,, Praisepraise thethe Lordlord forfor Hehe isbe kindkind .. GETTINGget STONEDstoned :: Fromfrom thethe stonesstone andand bric-bracsbric-brac thatthat youyou throwthrow wewe cancan buildbuild aa fortressfortress capablecapable ofof withstandingwithstand youryour siegesiege .. WHEREwhere DOdo WEwe STANDstand INin THEthe status quo STATUSstatus QUOquo ?? Wewe arebe thethe politicalpolitical wingwing ofof thethe Liberalliberal Partyparty .. GLOSSARYglossary OFof TERMSterm :: Petopeto Instituteinstitute ,, Budapestbudapest ,, Hungaryhungary .. 3-143-14 Decemberdecember 19901990 byby Jj Davisdavis andand Jj Eccleshalleccleshall ,, Mabelmabel Prichardprichard Schoolschool ,, Oxfordoxford .. Introductionintroduction Inin Novembernovember 19901990 ,, thethe Firstfirst Worldworld Congresscongress ofof thethe Internationalinternational Petöpetö Instituteinstitute wasbe heldhold inin Budapestbudapest ,, Hungaryhungary .. Severalseveral hundredhundred peoplepeople attendedattend fromfrom 3737 differentdifferent countriescountry .. Variousvarious disciplinesdiscipline werebe representedrepresent includinginclude educationalistseducationalist ,, psychologistspsychologist ,, doctorsdoctor andand othersother inin associatedassociated medicalmedical professionsprofession .. Thethe Congresscongress lastedlast threethree daysday ,, andand wasbe followedfollow byby aa twotwo weekweek Informationinformation Coursecourse atat thethe Instituteinstitute .. Wewe werebe twotwo ofof thethe seventyseventy peoplepeople whowho tooktake partpart inin thisthis coursecourse .. Wewe writewrite thisthis reportreport fromfrom thethe standpointstandpoint ofof teachersteacher ofof childrenchild withwith severesevere learninglearning difficultiesdifficulty andand manymany ofof ourour observationsobservation arebe mademake withwith thethe needsneed ofof thesethese childrenchild inin mindmind .. Wewe feelfeel privilegedprivileged toto havehave hadhave thethe chancechance toto bebe partpart ofof suchsuch aa valuablevaluable learninglearning experienceexperience .. Thethe Educationeducation Systemsystem inin Hungaryhungary in order Inin orderorder toto understandunderstand Conductiveconductive Educationeducation itit hashave toto bebe seensee inin thethe contextcontext ofof thethe Hungarianhungarian Statestate Systemsystem .. Toto bebe admittedadmit toto aa statestate schoolschool ,, childrenchild mustmust bebe ableable toto walkwalk ,, toto bebe continentcontinent andand showshow thethe abilityability toto learnlearn andand keepkeep upup withwith normalnormal workwork .. Theythey havehave toto managemanage withoutwithout aidsaid such as suchsuch asas wheelchairswheelchair oror specialspecial furniturefurniture andand bebe ableable toto writewrite andand drawdraw ââ typewriterstypewriter andand computerscomputer arebe notnot providedprovide .. Mothersmother staystay atat homehome forfor threethree yearsyear afterafter thethe birthbirth ofof theirtheir babiesbaby onon 7070 %% ofof theirtheir salarysalary (( inflationinflation isbe notnot takentake intointo considerationconsideration )) .. Mothersmother ofof handicappedhandicapped childrenchild cancan extendextend thisthis toto 1010 yearsyear oror longerlong .. Childrenchild arebe admittedadmit toto Kindergartenkindergarten fromfrom 33 -- 66 yearsyear .. Thosethose suitablesuitable progressprogress toto primaryprimary schoolsschool (( 66 -- 1111 yearsyear )) andand thenthen secondarysecondary schoolsschool (( 1111-16 -- 1611-16 yearsyear )) .. Secondarysecondary schoolschool cancan bebe "" grammargrammar "" oror vocationalvocational trainingtraining forfor skilledskilled workersworker .. Collegecollege oror universityuniversity followfollow andand cancan lastlast fromfrom 44-6 -- 64-6 yearsyear .. Beforebefore enteringenter schoolschool ,, psychologicalpsychological ,, medicalmedical andand educationaleducational assessmentsassessment arebe requiredrequire .. Asas aa resultresult ofof thesethese ,, tenten percentpercent ofof childrenchild gogo toto specialspecial schoolsschool ââ e.g.e.g. Thethe Petöpetö Instituteinstitute oror schoolsschool cateringcater forfor thethe blindblind ,, deafdeaf oror moderatelymoderately mentallymentally handicappedhandicapped .. Threethree percentpercent arebe classedclass asas ineducableineducable andand eithereither staystay atat homehome withwith theirtheir familiesfamily oror arebe placedplace inin welfarewelfare institutionsinstitution ââ parentsparent wishingwish toto havehave teachingteaching forfor thesethese childrenchild havehave toto paypay privatelyprivately .. Thethe Petöpetö Instituteinstitute Thethe Instituteinstitute isbe situatedsituate inin aa pleasantpleasant districtdistrict ofof Budabuda ,, next to nextnext toto aa largelarge hospitalhospital .. Itit isbe aa largelarge ,, modernmodern buildingbuilding andand itit wouldwould bebe easyeasy toto imagineimagine oneselfoneself inin aa hospitalhospital except for exceptexcept forfor thethe noisenoise ,, cheerfulcheerful bustlebustle andand attractiveattractive classroomsclassroom .. Thethe buildingbuilding isbe sixsix storeysstorey highhigh ,, withwith lotslots ofof stairsstair forfor thethe childrenchild toto negotiatenegotiate .. Thethe groundground floorfloor hashave ana out-patientsout-patient departmentdepartment ,, forfor childrenchild fromfrom sixsix monthsmonth toto threethree yearsyear ,, andand alsoalso forfor adultsadult .. Onon thethe nextnext levellevel arebe classroomsclassroom forfor conductor-traineesconductor trainees ,, officesoffice andand aa sitting/buffetsitting/buffet areaarea ,, whichwhich hashave toto copecope withwith ana internationalinternational mixmix ofof familiesfamily ,, visitorsvisitor ,, studentsstudent ,, staffstaff andand conductorsconductor .. Itit cancan taketake half-an-hourhalf an hour toto buybuy aa coffeecoffee andand seatsseat arebe oftenoften notnot availableavailable .. Otherother levelslevel containcontain kindergartenkindergarten andand schoolschool classesclass forfor threethree toto eleveneleven year-oldsyear old .. Eacheach groupgroup hashave twotwo largelarge workingworking areasarea andand bathroomsbathroom .. Thethe areasarea arebe connectedconnect byby foldingfolding doorsdoor andand allall havehave wall-barswall bars ,, plinthsplinth ,, stoolsstool ,, ladderbacksladderback ,, somesome carpetedcarpeted areasarea andand toystoy ,, althoughalthough thesethese seemseem smallsmall inin numbernumber .. Thethe residentialresidential childrenchild sleepsleep andand eateat inin thesethese areasarea ,, usinguse thethe plinthsplinth asas bedsbed .. Transfertransfer procedureprocedure Whenwhen aa childchild isbe consideredconsider readyready toto transfertransfer fromfrom thethe Instituteinstitute toto aa regularregular schoolschool :: ââ 11 .. Thethe appropriateappropriate schoolschool isbe selectedselect .. 22 .. After-careafter-care staffstaff keepkeep in contact with inin contactcontact withwith thethe schoolschool .. 33 .. Reportsreport arebe requestedrequest forfor eacheach "" Instituteinstitute "" childchild everyevery yearyear .. 44 .. Teachersteacher arebe invitedinvite toto thethe Instituteinstitute toto discussdiscuss thethe child'schild progressprogress andand programmeprogramme .. 55 .. Threethree dayday coursescourse arebe providedprovide yearlyyearly forfor teachersteacher withwith disableddisabled childrenchild inin theirtheir classesclass .. Theythey arebe toldtell aboutabout aidsaid whichwhich cancan assistassist themthem andand givengiven timetime toto discussdiscuss specialspecial problemsproblem .. Conductiveconductive Educationeducation Itit isbe extremelyextremely difficultdifficult toto describedescribe inin wordsword suchsuch aa highlyhighly complexcomplex methodmethod ,, butbut wewe arebe givinggive somesome ideasidea wewe havehave gainedgain duringduring ourour two-and-a-halftwo-and-a-half weeksweek .. Aa speakerspeaker atat thethe Internationalinternational Congresscongress pointedpoint outout thatthat therethere arebe twotwo approachesapproach toto handicaphandicap ââ eithereither wewe cancan adaptadapt thethe environmentenvironment (( e.g.e.g. byby providingprovide wheelchairswheelchair ,, rampsramp ,, etcetc )) oror wewe cancan makemake thethe individualindividual dodo thethe adaptingadapting .. Thethe latterlatter isbe thethe approachapproach takentake byby thethe Instituteinstitute .. Theythey believebelieve ,, "" â¦â¦ thatthat thethe individualindividual cancan bebe mademake toto learnlearn howhow toto learnlearn â¦â¦ chromosomeschromosome dodo notnot havehave thethe lastlast wordword â¦â¦ individualsindividual shouldshould havehave thethe optionoption toto changechange ,, irrespective of irrespectiveirrespective ofof ageage "" .. Alsoalso ,, theythey feelfeel thatthat humanhuman beingsbeing dodo notnot learnlearn leftleave toto themselvesthemselves ,, soso oneone generationgeneration imposesimpose learninglearning onon anotheranother .. Conductorsconductor arebe neededneed toto imposeimpose thisthis learninglearning inin aa structuredstructured mannermanner .. Conductiveconductive Educationeducation isbe aa preventivepreventive systemsystem aimedaim atat stoppingstop aa disabilitydisability fromfrom becomingbecome aa handicaphandicap .. Motormotor andand intellectualintellectual developmentdevelopment arebe inseparableinseparable .. Eacheach separateseparate actionaction neededneed forfor life-skillslife skills isbe taughtteach toto thethe groupgroup ,, andand withinwithin thisthis allall individualsindividual arebe encouragedencourage toto findfind theirtheir ownown solutionssolution toto problemsproblem .. Thethe reasonsreason forfor learninglearn eacheach tasktask arebe sharedshare withwith thethe childchild andand theythey arebe encouragedencourage toto choosechoose ana optimisticoptimistic alternativealternative inin everyevery situationsituation .. Allall thatthat isbe learntlearn mustmust bebe carriedcarry overover intointo real-lifereal-life situationssituation ,, soso trainingtraining ofof parentsparent isbe veryvery importantimportant (( seesee sectionsection onon "" Groupsgroup inin thethe Instituteinstitute "" )) .. Thethe atmosphereatmosphere inin thethe Instituteinstitute isbe alwaysalways cheerfulcheerful ,, busybusy ,, encouragingencouraging ,, warmwarm andand positivepositive .. Thethe children'schild motivationmotivation isbe excellentexcellent ,, asas isbe theirtheir concentrationconcentration .. Onon thethe wholewhole ,, theythey appearappear asas keenkeen atat thethe endend ofof aa veryvery longlong dayday asas atat thethe beginningbeginning .. Thisthis couldcould bebe surprisingsurprising ,, asas thethe sessionssession arebe veryvery repetitiverepetitive andand thethe teachingteaching sessionsession veryvery formalformal .. Groupgroup workwork formsform thethe basisbasis forfor allall programmesprogramme andand withinwithin thisthis thethe developmentdevelopment ofof thethe personalitypersonality isbe stressedstress ,, plusplus inter-personalinter-personal andand groupgroup relationshipsrelationship .. Taskstask assignedassign eacheach dayday teachteach skillsskill neededneed forfor dressingdress ,, feedingfeed ,, hygienehygiene ,, speechspeech ,, changechange ofof placeplace andand postureposture ,, standingstanding andand walkingwalking .. Nationalnational Curriculumcurriculum subjectssubject havehave toto bebe coveredcover inin schoolschool groupsgroup .. Compulsorycompulsory subjectssubject forfor primaryprimary childrenchild arebe readingread ,, mathsmaths ,, writingwriting ,, artart andand technologytechnology ,, drawingdrawing andand naturenature andand therethere arebe twotwo educationaleducational sessionssession aa dayday lastinglast betweenbetween 1-21-2 hourshour eacheach .. Assessmentsassessment Childrenchild arebe assessedassess whilewhile stayingstay atat thethe Instituteinstitute forfor up to upup toto fourfour weeksweek (( thisthis maymay bebe extendedextend inin somesome casescase )) .. Thethe selectionselection criteriacriterion ofof childrenchild isbe laidlay downdown byby thethe governmentgovernment departmentdepartment appropriateappropriate toto educationeducation andand healthhealth .. Atat thethe initialinitial sessionssession ,, aa registryregistry sheetsheet isbe mademake outout andand photosphoto andand videosvideo arebe mademake .. Thesethese arebe continuouslycontinuously updatedupdate .. Observationsobservation arebe keptkeep duringduring thethe children'schild timetime atat thethe Instituteinstitute onon theirtheir developmentaldevelopmental progressprogress inin allall areasarea andand thesethese arebe recordedrecord approximatelyapproximately onceonce aa monthmonth .. Howeverhowever ,, conductorsconductor ofof eacheach groupgroup wouldwould meetmeet dailydaily andand discussdiscuss minorminor adjustmentsadjustment toto thethe programmesprogramme .. Carefulcareful recordsrecord arebe keptkeep onon thethe spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida children'schild toiletingtoileting ââ volumevolume ofof urineurine isbe notednote ,, alsoalso periodsperiod ofof drynessdryness .. Thisthis isbe becausebecause thesethese childrenchild easilyeasily developdevelop kidneykidney andand bladderbladder problemsproblem .. Assessmentsassessment andand recordsrecord arebe alsoalso requiredrequire fromfrom formerformer Petöpetö childrenchild ,, nownow inin mainstreammainstream schoolsschool .. Thesethese childrenchild arebe regularlyregularly checkedcheck ,, theirtheir teachersteacher arebe consultedconsult andand advisedadvise ,, andand conductorsconductor visitvisit theirtheir schoolsschool .. Nono reportsreport werebe availableavailable forfor usus toto seesee ,, althoughalthough therethere werebe filesfile onon thethe childrenchild inin eacheach areaarea .. Conductorsconductor andand theirtheir trainingtraining Conductorsconductor receivereceive aa four-yearfour-year trainingtraining ,, whichwhich coverscover manymany areasarea ,, e.g.e.g. childchild developmentdevelopment ,, physiotherapyphysiotherapy ,, speechspeech ,, andand biologybiology .. Drdr Mariamaria Harihari wasbe ,, howeverhowever ,, keenkeen toto pointpoint outout thatthat thethe trainingtraining wasbe notnot simplysimply aa summarysummary ofof thesethese professionsprofession butbut thatthat conductorsconductor werebe uniqueunique productsproduct ofof aa complexcomplex systemsystem .. Howeverhowever ,, whenwhen wewe talkedtalk toto professionalsprofessional inin variousvarious fieldsfield ,, fromfrom thethe UKuk andand abroadabroad ,, no-oneno-one feltfeel thatthat theirtheir particularparticular professionprofession wasbe understoodunderstand inin anyany depthdepth .. Duringduring theirtheir trainingtraining ,, emphasisemphasis isbe onon thethe practicepractice ofof thethe theorytheory ,, muchmuch moremuch soso thanthan inin thethe usualusual trainingtraining ofof teachersteacher .. Thethe lectureslecture arebe atat thethe Instituteinstitute andand whatwhat isbe learntlearn isbe immediatelyimmediately putput intointo practicepractice withwith thethe traineestrainee actingact asas helpershelper inin thethe variousvarious groupsgroup .. Studentsstudent learnlearn howhow toto observeobserve ,, planplan ,, organiseorganise andand analyseanalyse situationssituation so that soso thatthat problemsproblem cancan bebe solvedsolve .. Qualifiedqualified conductorsconductor workwork aa compulsorycompulsory nineteennineteen hourshour aa weekweek ,, butbut mostmost workwork up to upup toto thirtythirty hourshour asas therethere isbe soso muchmuch toto dodo .. Theythey arebe paidpay 7,0007,000 Forintsforint perper monthmonth (( approximatelyapproximately 6565 )) ,, risingrise toto 12,00012,000 afterafter fivefive yearsyear .. Theythey arebe responsibleresponsible forfor everyevery aspectaspect ofof thethe children'schild carecare ,, i.e.i.e. theythey wakewake themthem upup inin thethe morningmorning ,, taketake lyinglying ,, sittingsit ,, standingstanding ,, andand walkingwalking groupsgroup ,, teachteach thethe Nationalnational Curriculumcurriculum lessonslesson ,, toilettoilet andand bathbath thethe childrenchild andand putput themthem toto bedbed .. Planningplanning comescome on top of onon toptop ofof allall thisthis .. Morningmorning ,, afternoonafternoon ,, eveningevening andand weekendweekend shiftsshift arebe workedwork .. Thethe workwork isbe extremelyextremely hardhard andand conductorsconductor needneed toto bebe veryvery dedicateddedicated .. Allall appearedappear toto usus toto bebe warmwarm ,, positivepositive ,, enthusiasticenthusiastic peoplepeople ââ alwaysalways praisingpraise ,, rarelyrarely criticisingcriticise .. Wewe almostalmost nevernever heardhear "" Nemnem "" (( nono )) ,, butbut alwaysalways "" Igenigen "" (( yesyes )) oror "" Jj "" (( goodgood )) .. Conductiveconductive Educationeducation andand PMLDpmld childrenchild Duringduring thethe threethree daysday atat thethe conferenceconference andand thethe two-weektwo-week coursecourse thatthat followedfollow ,, itit wasbe categoricallycategorically statedstate onon severalseveral occasionsoccasion thatthat PMLDpmld childrenchild arebe notnot suitablesuitable forfor Conductiveconductive Educationeducation .. Thesethese arebe thethe 33 %% placedplace inin welfarewelfare institutionsinstitution oror leftleave atat homehome withwith parentsparent ,, classedclass asas ineducableineducable .. Howeverhowever ,, inin lessless formalformal talkstalk withwith conductorsconductor andand lecturerslecturer ,, andand inin aa discussiondiscussion ledlead byby Drdr Mariamaria Harihari ,, itit becamebecome apparentapparent thatthat inin factfact therethere arebe somesome concessionsconcession .. Childrenchild havehave beenbe takentake onon byby thethe Instituteinstitute andand givengive trialtrial periodsperiod .. Ifif ,, howeverhowever ,, theythey showshow nono signsign ofof abilityability toto makemake contactcontact oror toto learnlearn byby fivefive yearsyear theythey arebe placedplace inin aa specialspecial schoolschool ,, welfarewelfare institutioninstitution oror returnedreturn toto familyfamily surroundingssurroundings .. Drdr Harihari alsoalso congratulatedcongratulate Mrsmrs Marianmarian Fangfang (( Chairchair ofor thethe Honghong Kongkong Specialspecial Schools'school Councilcouncil andand Principalprincipal ofof thethe Johnjohn F.f. Kennedykennedy Centrecentre forfor Handicappedhandicapped Childrenchild )) onon herher workwork withwith mentallymentally impairedimpaired childrenchild .. Sheshe hashave pioneeredpioneer Conductiveconductive Stylestyle groupsgroup inin Honghong Kongkong withwith PMLDpmld childrenchild whowho livelive permanentlypermanently inin hospitalhospital .. Nursesnurse runrun thethe groupsgroup andand therethere havehave beenbe significantsignificant resultsresult .. Drdr Harihari considersconsider thatthat thethe carefulcareful structuringstructuring inin Conductiveconductive Educationeducation isbe aa suitablesuitable methodmethod forfor allall children'schild learninglearning .. Sheshe alsoalso mademake itit clearclear thatthat Conductiveconductive Educationeducation isbe notnot thethe onlyonly methodmethod ,, andand admittedadmit thatthat otherother methodsmethod arebe useduse withwith successsuccess .. Groupsgroup inin thethe Instituteinstitute Outpatientsoutpatient 11 .. Parentsparent andand childrenchild out-patientsout-patient departmentdepartment Childrenchild arebe usuallyusually referredrefer byby hospitalshospital inin Hungaryhungary .. Conductorsconductor visitvisit prematurepremature babybaby unitsunit andand decidedecide whichwhich childrenchild toto acceptaccept .. Babiesbaby cancan startstart atat sixsix monthsmonth ,, butbut itit isbe moremuch likelylikely toto bebe 12-1812-18 monthsmonth .. Anan earlyearly startstart isbe goodgood asas parentsparent cancan helphelp withwith thethe programmesprogramme inin thethe homehome ,, eveneven atat aa pre-verbalpre-verbal stagestage .. Developmentaldevelopmental delaydelay isbe causedcause byby laterlate startsstart andand secondarysecondary damagedamage cancan developdevelop tootoo (( e.g.e.g. contracturescontracture andand behaviourbehaviour problemsproblem )) .. Earlierearly integrationintegration intointo mainstreammainstream hashave beenbe notednote whenwhen childrenchild beginbegin youngyoung .. Parentsparent comecome onon ana observationobservation dayday firstfirst ,, thenthen accompanyaccompany theirtheir childrenchild forfor oneone toto twotwo hourshour aa dayday ,, fivefive daysday aa weekweek .. Mostmost choosechoose toto comecome forfor two-weektwo-week periodsperiod ,, withwith timetime toto practisepractise atat homehome in between inin betweenbetween .. Childrenchild startstart inin thethe beginnersbeginner groupgroup andand whenwhen theythey proveprove toto havehave goodgood contactcontact withwith parentsparent ,, thethe abilityability toto understandunderstand instructionsinstruction andand toto movemove fromfrom oneone positionposition toto anotheranother theythey movemove onon toto thethe advancedadvanced groupgroup whichwhich isbe forfor childrenchild overover thethe ageage ofof twotwo ,, stillstill withwith parentsparent accompanyingaccompany .. Contactcontact withwith conductorsconductor andand otherother groupgroup membersmember isbe encouragedencourage ,, asas isbe moremore independenceindependence andand walkingwalking .. Moremuch intenseintense programmesprogramme arebe followedfollow .. 22 .. Kindergartenkindergarten out-patientsout-patient clinicclinic Thisthis clinicclinic caterscater forfor childrenchild whowho havehave beenbe integratedintegrate intointo mainstreammainstream kindergartenskindergarten .. Theythey attendattend threethree timestime perper weekweek forfor two-hourtwo-hour sessionssession .. Wewe sawsee aa classclass ofof veryvery ableable childrenchild ,, withwith minimalminimal impairmentimpairment ,, whowho camecome forfor aa P.E./musicp.e./music andand movementmovement sessionsession .. Thisthis typetype ofof programmeprogramme wouldwould bebe veryvery usefuluseful forfor Mabelmabel Prichardprichard childrenchild .. Petöpetö isbe foundedfound onon thethe theorytheory thatthat "" Actionaction isbe aa pre-conditionpre-condition ofof thinkingthinking "" .. 33 .. School-ageschool-age out-patientsout-patient Childrenchild whowho havehave beenbe integratedintegrate intointo mainstreammainstream schoolsschool cancan returnreturn atat anyany timetime forfor helphelp andand arebe calledcall backback atat six-monthlysix-monthly intervalsinterval forfor checkscheck .. 44 .. Parent'sparent Schoolschool ââ minorminor impairmentsimpairment Anyany childchild cancan comecome withwith itsits parentsparent forfor oneone hourhour aa monthmonth .. Theythey arebe givengive adviceadvice ,, counsellingcounselling andand workwork toto dodo atat homehome .. 55 .. Adultadult out-patientsout-patient Multiplemultiple Sclerosissclerosis ,, Parkinson'sparkinson andand hemiplegichemiplegic patientspatient attendattend 2-32-3 morningmorning sessionssession aa weekweek .. Residentialresidential groupsgroup Kindergartenkindergarten (( 3-63-6 yearyear oldsold )) Childrenchild fromfrom Budapestbudapest attendattend Petöpetö Kindergartenkindergarten dailydaily .. Othersother fromfrom thethe restrest ofof Hungaryhungary (( plusplus somesome internationalinternational )) arebe residentialresidential .. Theythey followfollow thethe nationalnational kindergartenkindergarten syllabussyllabus whichwhich isbe :: mothermother tonguetongue ,, drawingdrawing ,, mathematicsmathematics ,, naturenature ,, andand in addition inin additionaddition havehave lyinglying ,, sittingsit ,, standingstanding ,, walkingwalking ,, andand handshand functionfunction programmesprogramme .. Sessionssession lastlast oneone hourhour andand theythey arebe groupedgroup withwith similarsimilar childrenchild asas farfar asas possiblepossible .. Therethere isbe aa separateseparate groupgroup forfor spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild .. Childrenchild maymay repeatrepeat thethe lastlast yearyear ifif theythey arebe notnot readyready toto movemove upup .. bb )) Schoolschool (( 6-116-11 yearsyear )) Samesame asas aboveabove ,, withwith extendedextended Conductiveconductive Educationeducation taskstask ,, moremuch Nationalnational Curriculumcurriculum topicstopic ,, andand longerlong hourshour .. cc )) Secondarysecondary Schoolschool (( 11-1611-16 yearsyear )) Atat anotheranother buildingbuilding inin Pestpest ââ forfor thosethose childrenchild whowho nevernever managemanage toto attainattain thethe standardsstandard ofof mainstreammainstream schoolsschool .. Internationalinternational groupgroup Childrenchild comecome fromfrom allall overover thethe worldworld andand arebe observedobserve andand assessedassess forfor theirtheir suitabilitysuitability forfor Conductiveconductive Educationeducation .. Duringduring thethe lastlast weekweek therethere isbe aa consultationconsultation withwith parentsparent andand aa verbalverbal programmeprogramme isbe givengive toto workwork onon backback homehome .. Nothingnothing isbe writtenwrite downdown ,, unlessunless byby thethe parentparent ,, thethe statedstated reasonreason beingbe toto allowallow forfor flexibilityflexibility .. Thethe childrenchild cancan returnreturn everyevery sixsix monthsmonth forfor anotheranother monthmonth .. Familiesfamily livelive inin Budapestbudapest inin flatsflat .. Aa committeecommittee ofof parentsparent trytry toto helphelp one another oneone anotheranother findfind accommodationaccommodation ,, whichwhich ,, of course ofof coursecourse ,, theythey havehave toto paypay forfor themselvesthemselves .. Grandparentsgrandparent werebe observedobserve supportingsupport parentsparent ,, thethe otherother parentparent usuallyusually remainingremain atat homehome forfor workwork oror familyfamily reasonsreason .. Thesethese childrenchild onon thethe wholewhole hadhave greatergreat problemsproblem andand criedcry moremore thanthan thethe Hungarianhungarian childrenchild whowho hadhave beenbe comingcome earlierearlier andand forfor longerlong .. Somesome foreignforeign childrenchild arebe residentialresidential onon aa permanentpermanent basisbasis .. Wewe sawsee aa considerableconsiderable numbernumber ofof Englishenglish ,, Irishirish andand Israeliisraeli childrenchild .. Wewe werebe shownshow aa couplecouple ofof Englishenglish childrenchild inin thethe schoolschool whowho arebe fluentfluent nownow inin Hungarianhungarian (( aa veryvery difficultdifficult languagelanguage !! )) .. Onon talkingtalk toto parentsparent ,, wewe werebe toldtell thatthat hadhave therethere beenbe aa suitablesuitable provisionprovision inin theirtheir ownown countrycountry theythey wouldwould notnot bebe inin Budapestbudapest .. Provisionprovision inin thethe UKuk appearsappear toto bebe veryvery "" patchypatchy "" .. Primaryprimary schoolschool programmeprogramme Personalpersonal observationsobservation Wewe watchedwatch thethe morningmorning programmeprogramme ofof aa groupgroup ofof 1414 1st1st Yearyear primaryprimary childrenchild agedage 7-87-8 .. Thesethese childrenchild hadhave completedcomplete theirtheir preparatorypreparatory yearyear andand werebe ofof normalnormal intelligenceintelligence butbut severesevere physicalphysical problemsproblem prohibitedprohibit themthem fromfrom enteringenter regularregular schoolschool .. Therethere werebe fourfour conductorsconductor in charge of inin chargecharge ofof thisthis groupgroup withwith aa differentdifferent conductorconductor planningplanning ,, organisingorganise andand leadinglead eacheach sessionsession .. Therethere werebe severalseveral studentsstudent onon handhand toto helphelp withwith movingmoving ofof thethe furniturefurniture etcetc .. Thethe childrenchild livelive atat thethe Instituteinstitute duringduring thethe weekweek ,, goinggo homehome atat thethe weekendweekend wherewhere possiblepossible .. Wewe werebe surprisedsurprised toto findfind thatthat thethe plinthsplinth useduse forfor exerciseexercise andand asas tablestable duringduring thethe dayday arebe theirtheir bedsbed atat nightnight !! Eacheach dayday startsstart withwith aa programmeprogramme ofof groupgroup exercisesexercise carefullycarefully plannedplan toto helphelp thethe childrenchild toto changechange positionposition ,, startingstart fromfrom lyinglie oror sittingsitting followedfollow byby individualindividual andand groupgroup standingstanding andand walkingwalking practicepractice .. Childrenchild needingneed extraextra helphelp havehave aa conductorconductor eithereither toto themselvesthemselves oror sharedshare betweenbetween twotwo .. Atat firstfirst sightsight itit maymay appearappear thatthat allall thethe childrenchild arebe doingdo thethe samesame thingthing butbut withinwithin eacheach groupgroup allowanceallowance isbe mademake forfor abilityability andand thethe childrenchild followfollow theirtheir ownown carefullycarefully plannedplan programmeprogramme atat theirtheir ownown pacepace ââ thisthis isbe updatedupdate regularlyregularly .. in order Inin orderorder toto preventprevent boredomboredom andand givegive motivationmotivation aa themetheme isbe setset byby thethe conductorconductor runningrun thethe sessionsession .. Thethe "" motivationmotivation "" forfor thethe sessionsession wewe watchedwatch wasbe aa backclothbackcloth ofof aa skiski slopeslope ;; thethe childrenchild werebe divideddivide intointo 22 teamsteam andand givengive aa skierskier eacheach toto racerace downdown thethe slopeslope .. Anyany goodgood workwork wasbe rewardedreward withwith thethe emphasisemphasis beingbe onon teamteam rather than ratherrather thanthan individualindividual successsuccess .. Themestheme seensee inin otherother classesclass hadhave beenbe eveneven moremuch complicatedcomplicated andand hadhave obviouslyobviously involvedinvolve ana enormousenormous amountamount ofof workwork .. Wewe werebe endlesslyendlessly impressedimpressed byby thethe amountamount ofof efforteffort andand planningplanning whichwhich hadhave gonego intointo makingmake thethe wholewhole programmeprogramme runrun smoothlysmoothly andand efficientlyefficiently .. Thethe childrenchild werebe wonderfullywonderfully responsiveresponsive ,, withwith aa greatgreat sensesense ofof humourhumour andand theythey derivedderive enormousenormous excitementexcitement fromfrom thethe gamesgame andand competitionscompetition .. Aa relativelyrelatively shortshort timetime ofof thethe dayday isbe spentspend inin educationaleducational classesclass ââ thethe childrenchild arebe divideddivide intointo twotwo groupsgroup forfor thesethese according to accordingaccording toto ageage oror abilityability .. Thethe lessonslesson wewe observedobserve werebe readingread andand writingwriting andand Mathsmaths .. Thethe childrenchild satsit onon ordinaryordinary chairschair atat normalnormal tablestable andand therethere werebe nono grabgrab barsbar oror strapsstrap despitedespite thethe factfact thatthat oneone childchild hadhave greatgreat difficultydifficulty inin controllingcontrol hishis limbslimb .. Mostmost ofof thethe childrenchild hadhave ordinaryordinary booksbook andand pencilspencil ââ allall hadhave toto standstand upup toto answeranswer questionsquestion andand walkwalk toto thethe frontfront ofof thethe classclass wherewhere possiblepossible .. Teachingteaching isbe formalformal butbut thethe childrenchild seemedseem interestedinterested andand responsiveresponsive andand managedmanage somesome surprisinglysurprisingly goodgood writingwriting despitedespite immenseimmense disabilitiesdisability .. Greatgreat emphasisemphasis isbe putput onon writingwriting andand drawingdrawing skillsskill andand typewriterstypewriter arebe notnot seensee asas aa substitutesubstitute forfor writingwriting .. Computerscomputer arebe notnot useduse inin thethe primaryprimary schoolschool althoughalthough somesome childrenchild maymay havehave themthem atat homehome .. Thethe wholewhole morningmorning wasbe veryvery structuredstructured andand wewe werebe amazedamazed byby howhow muchmuch wasbe fittedfit intointo thethe programmeprogramme .. Therethere wasbe ,, howeverhowever ,, littlelittle timetime forfor freefree playplay oror choicechoice ofof activityactivity andand nono chancechance forfor thethe childrenchild toto messmess aboutabout withwith paintpaint ,, sandsand ,, waterwater etcetc .. Artart isbe seensee asas ana exerciseexercise inin finefine motormotor skillsskill oror appreciationappreciation ofof naturenature andand notnot asas aa creativecreative activityactivity .. Suchsuch aa structuredstructured formform ofof teachingteaching wouldwould notnot fitfit easilyeasily intointo ourour moremuch liberalliberal systemsystem ofof educationeducation .. Withwith thethe afternoonafternoon programmeprogramme beingbe muchmuch aa repeatrepeat ofof thethe morning'smorning activitiesactivity wewe werebe amazedamazed thatthat bothboth childrenchild andand adultsadult couldcould retainretain theirtheir enthusiasmenthusiasm .. Howeverhowever ,, despitedespite thethe formalityformality andand repetitiverepetitive naturenature ofof thethe dailydaily programmeprogramme thethe atmosphereatmosphere wasbe relaxedrelaxed andand wewe havehave broughtbring homehome ana overwhelmingoverwhelming impressionimpression ofof childrenchild andand adultsadult workingwork togethertogether withwith greatgreat couragecourage ,, motivationmotivation andand aa sensesense ofof humourhumour .. Gentlegentle encouragementencouragement isbe givengive andand thethe childrenchild arebe expectedexpect toto dodo theirtheir bestgood ,, butbut wewe diddo notnot hearhear aa raisedraised voicevoice oror seesee anyany needneed forfor disciplinediscipline .. Emphasisemphasis isbe putput onon thethe developmentdevelopment ofof thethe personalitypersonality andand thisthis showsshow inin thethe carecare andand affectionaffection thethe childrenchild showshow toto each other eacheach otherother .. Implicationsimplication forfor childrenchild atat Mabelmabel Prichardprichard Schoolschool Manymany ofof thethe childrenchild withwith whomwhom wewe workwork atat schoolschool wouldwould notnot bebe acceptedaccept atat thethe Petöpetö Instituteinstitute forfor reasonsreason explainedexplain elsewhereelsewhere inin thethe reportreport .. Howeverhowever ,, afterafter muchmuch thoughtthought andand discussiondiscussion wewe stillstill feelfeel thatthat manymany aspectsaspect ofof thethe teachingteaching programmesprogramme inin Hungaryhungary arebe veryvery beneficialbeneficial forfor childrenchild withwith profoundprofound andand multiplemultiple learninglearning difficultiesdifficulty .. Itit wasbe interestinginteresting ,, moreovermoreover ,, toto seesee thatthat Conductiveconductive Educationeducation groupsgroup atat thethe Instituteinstitute werebe notnot limitedlimit toto childrenchild withwith severesevere motormotor problemsproblem .. Wewe havehave comecome backback believingbelieve thatthat otherother childrenchild inin ourour schoolschool couldcould benefitbenefit fromfrom similarsimilar groupgroup physicalphysical programmesprogramme .. Asas teachersteacher wewe feelfeel capablecapable ofof planningplanning andand organisingorganise suchsuch groupgroup programmesprogramme ,, butbut realiserealise thatthat regularregular inputinput fromfrom otherother professionalsprofessional such as suchsuch asas physiotherapistsphysiotherapist ,, occupationaloccupational therapiststherapist andand speechspeech therapiststherapist isbe essentialessential .. Workingwork asas aa teamteam wewe willwill havehave thethe skillsskill toto drawdraw upup relevantrelevant programmesprogramme forfor individualindividual childrenchild andand thethe abilityability toto keepkeep thesethese programmesprogramme regularlyregularly updatedupdate .. Aa bathroombathroom areaarea Takingtake thethe "" optimisticoptimistic "" approachapproach Aa typicaltypical classroomclassroom withwith wallbarswallbar andand specialspecial furniturefurniture Thethe followingfollowing photosphoto showshow aa groupgroup ofof spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild whowho showedshow greatgreat determinationdetermination andand humourhumour despitedespite enormousenormous physicalphysical disabilitiesdisability .. Severalseveral childrenchild inin thisthis groupgroup neededneed aa fullfull bracebrace in order inin orderorder toto bebe ableable toto standstand .. spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild werebe encouragedencourage toto getget upup andand downdown fromfrom thisthis positionposition .. Standingstanding andand walkingwalking practicepractice Toilettoilet programmeprogramme forfor spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild ââ muchmuch singingsing andand clappingclap andand childrenchild encouragedencourage toto checkcheck resultsresult frequentlyfrequently .. Conductorsconductor workwork inin teamsteam withwith oneone conductorconductor responsibleresponsible forfor leadinglead eacheach sessionsession .. Traineetrainee conductorsconductor helphelp movemove furniturefurniture andand prepareprepare thethe roomroom forfor classclass activitiesactivity .. Kindergartenkindergarten childrenchild bathingbathe theirtheir dollsdoll Therethere isbe littlelittle timetime forfor freefree playplay ââ mostmost toystoy arebe useduse inin structuredstructured groupgroup activitiesactivity .. "" Handshand "" groupgroup withwith spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild Thisthis littlelittle girlgirl isbe Englishenglish ,, andand thethe boyboy withwith hishis backback toto thethe cameracamera isbe fromfrom Israelisrael .. Learninglearning toto changechange positionposition fromfrom lyinglie Changingchanging positionposition fromfrom sittingsit andand standingstanding Standingstanding practicepractice Walkingwalking practicepractice Topictopic workwork helpshelp toto motivatemotivate andand stimulatestimulate thethe childrenchild toto workwork hardhard .. Dressingdress upup forfor aa walkwalk inin thethe forestforest toto findfind eggsegg Takingtake thethe eggsegg homehome toto makemake pancakespancake Readingreading andand writingwriting lessonlesson ââ formalformal butbut muchmuch enjoyedenjoy byby thethe childrenchild .. Childrenchild havehave toto managemanage withwith normalnormal un-adaptedun-adapted furniturefurniture .. Thethe olderold "" Motormotor Impairedimpaired "" groupgroup atat Mabelmabel Prichardprichard Schoolschool .. Anotheranother attemptattempt atat somesome ofof thethe captionscaption :: Childrenchild havehave toto managemanage withwith normalnormal un-adaptedun-adapted furniturefurniture .. Readingreading andand writingwriting lessonlesson ââ formalformal butbut muchmuch enjoyedenjoy byby thethe childrenchild .. Learninglearning toto changechange positionposition fromfrom lyinglie "" Handshand "" groupgroup withwith spina bifida Spinaspina Bifidabifida childrenchild Learninglearning toto fixfix withwith oneone handhand whilewhile movingmove thethe otherother Thethe yearyear beganbegin withwith coldcold clammyclammy fogsfog ,, andand althoughalthough somesome industryindustry hadhave comecome toto aa standstillstandstill because of becausebecause ofof workersworker calledcall toto thethe colourscolour ,, andand factoriesfactory bombedbomb byby thethe enemyenemy ,, wewe stillstill diddo notnot havehave thethe Cleanclean Airair Actact ,, andand therethere wasbe stillstill quitequite aa lotlot ofof smokesmoke fromfrom domesticdomestic firesfire ,, andand fromfrom thethe slackslack coalcoal burntburn byby factoriesfactory makingmake munitionsmunition .. Hehe hadhave beenbe eighteight daysday atat thethe wheelwheel ofof thethe destroyerdestroyer ,, andand hadhave broughtbring herher backback fromfrom Greenlandgreenland byby "" Boxingboxing thethe compasscompass "" andand hishis fatherfather ,, HMShms Reading'sreading seniorsenior officerofficer ,, nownow moremore thanthan middle-agedmiddle-aged ,, hadhave beenbe putput out of outout ofof actionaction byby thethe rigoursrigour ofof thethe journeyjourney fromfrom Liverpoolliverpool toto Americaamerica ,, andand hadhave hadhave toto handhand overover toto Arthurarthur whenwhen aboutabout twotwo daysday out of outout ofof Stst John'sjohn headingheading forfor Icelandiceland .. Althoughalthough mymy householdhousehold andand ARParp dutiesduty diddo notnot allowallow ofof aa visitvisit toto thethe Westernwestern hospitalhospital somesome folkfolk camecome toto seesee usus atat thethe mainmain postpost ,, andand laughlaugh atat thethe factfact thatthat thethe Stewardsteward ofof thethe hospitalhospital hadhave hadhave toto sendsend thethe lastlast ofof hishis well-trainedwell-trained clerksclerk toto Egyptegypt toto helphelp countcount thethe numbernumber ofof prisonersprisoner andand trytry toto getget thethe provisionprovision forfor themthem inin somesome sortsort ofof orderorder .. Inin 19811981 aa reportreport toto thethe Europeaneuropean Parliamentparliament byby P.p. dede Keersmaekerkeersmaeker ofof thethe Europeaneuropean Commissioncommission expressedexpress wholeheartedwholehearted supportsupport forfor thethe principleprinciple ofof aa fixedfixed linklink ,, andand inin thethe samesame yearyear reportsreport basedbase onon consultationsconsultation withwith thethe Councilcouncil ofof Europe'seurope Conferenceconference ofof Locallocal andand Regionalregional Authoritiesauthority camecome toto aa similarsimilar conclusionconclusion bothboth aboutabout thethe fixedfixed linklink andand otherother gapsgap inin thethe Europeaneuropean networknetwork ofof trunktrunk communicationscommunication .. Inin thethe shortshort termterm itit mightmight bebe expectedexpect toto gaingain considerablyconsiderably fromfrom thethe actualactual constructionconstruction ofof thethe tunneltunnel andand figuresfigure forfor thethe periodperiod up to upup toto Marchmarch 19891989 showshow thatthat thethe Southsouth Easteast ,, includinginclude Kentkent ,, hadhave gainedgain 2727 %% ofof thethe ££ 492492 mm worthworth ofof contractscontract placedplace inin thethe UKuk byby Transmanchetransmanche Linklink :: Kentkent ,, asas aa singlesingle countycounty ,, attractedattract aa highhigh shareshare ofof 99 %% .. Inin thethe mediummedium termterm thethe Kentkent Impactimpact Studystudy estimatedestimate thatthat ,, onon thethe basisbasis ofof firms'firm plansplan inin latelate 19861986 thethe Channelchannel Tunneltunnel wouldwould produceproduce lossesloss ofof 4,5004,500 andand 6,5006,500 jobsjob inin thethe ferryferry industryindustry toto bebe offsetoffset byby gainsgain ofof 3,2003,200 jobsjob directlydirectly relatedrelate toto thethe operationoperation ofof thethe Tunneltunnel atat Cheritoncheriton andand Ashfordashford ,, andand 13,00013,000 toto 14,00014,000 newnew jobsjob inin otherother industriesindustry ofof whichwhich 3,7003,700 werebe attributedattribute toto firmsfirm movingmove intointo Kentkent fromfrom otherother partspart ofof thethe countrycountry .. Manymany organisationsorganisation includinginclude thethe Towntown andand Countrycountry Planningplanning Associationassociation ,, Councilcouncil forfor thethe Protectionprotection ofof Ruralrural Englandengland ,, Royalroyal Towntown Planningplanning Instituteinstitute ,, andand thethe Southsouth Easteast Economiceconomic Developmentdevelopment Strategystrategy havehave calledcall forfor aa comprehensivecomprehensive planningplanning andand transporttransport strategystrategy forfor thethe Southsouth Easteast ,, arguingargue thatthat thisthis isbe essentialessential bothboth toto protectprotect thethe regionregion fromfrom thethe adverseadverse effectseffect ofof thethe Tunneltunnel andand toto maximisemaximise itsits benefitsbenefit .. NOERCnoerc isbe callingcall forfor furtherfar electrificationelectrification schemesscheme ,, thethe adoptionadoption ofof thethe Continentalcontinental loadingloading gaugegauge ,, aa moremuch flexibleflexible attitudeattitude towardstowards thethe provisionprovision ofof regionalregional freightfreight depotsdepot throughthrough thethe useuse ofof grantsgrant payablepayable underunder Sectionsection 88 ofof thethe Railwaysrailway Actact 19741974 ,, andand ana earlyearly decisiondecision onon thethe provisionprovision ofof regionalregional inlandinland customscustom clearanceclearance facilitiesfacility toto complementcomplement thosethose atat Britishbritish Rail'srail mainmain Tunneltunnel freightfreight assemblyassembly pointpoint atat Willesdenwillesden .. Thethe locallocal authorityauthority associationsassociation havehave alsoalso expressedexpress concernconcern atat thethe likelylikely impactimpact ofof thethe Tunneltunnel onon peripheralperipheral regionsregion ,, andand aa conferenceconference wasbe heldhold inin thethe earlyearly Summersummer ofof 19891989 toto launchlaunch aa Channelchannel Tunneltunnel initiativeinitiative withwith thethe aimaim ofof ensuringensure thatthat itsits benefitsbenefit reachreach allall partspart ofof thethe UKuk .. Itit focusesfocus onon thethe rolerole ofof locallocal authoritiesauthority inin attractingattract newnew businessesbusiness byby providingprovide thethe rightright infrastructureinfrastructure includinginclude goodgood accessaccess toto internationalinternational railrail passengerpassenger servicesservice atat regionalregional railheadsrailhead ,, andand effectiveeffective freightfreight transhipmenttranshipment pointspoint linkedlink toto thethe roadroad networknetwork .. Thethe Conventionconvention ofof thethe Scottishscottish Locallocal Authoritiesauthority inin itsits submissionsubmission toto thethe Britishbritish Railrail Sectionsection 4040 consultationsconsultation calledcall forfor dedicateddedicated through-servicesthrough-service forfor passengerspassenger andand freightfreight betweenbetween Scotlandscotland andand mainlandmainland Europeeurope ;; andand efficientefficient cross-Londoncross-london linklink forfor passengerspassenger combinedcombine withwith on-trainon-train immigrationimmigration checkscheck ;; improvedimproved freightfreight handlinghandling arrangementsarrangement throughthrough aa super-depotsuper-depot atat Coatbridgecoatbridge ,, oror bettergood useuse ofof existingexisting facilitiesfacility ;; andand thethe linkagelinkage ofof suchsuch aa depotdepot toto thethe trunktrunk roadroad networknetwork .. WELCOMEwelcome TOto SOMERSETsomerset SOso EASYeasy TOto GETget TOto BYby CARcar fromfrom thethe Northnorth andand Midlandsmidlands downdown thethe M5m5 motorwaymotorway ââ Somersetsomerset exitsexit 2121 toto 2626 ââ fromfrom Londonlondon alongalong thethe M4m4 toto joinjoin thethe M5m5 (( oror leaveleave thethe M4m4 earlierearlier toto comecome throughthrough Bathbath oror Bristolbristol )) .. Motoristsmotorist fromfrom thethe South-Eastsouth-east cancan alsoalso reachreach Somersetsomerset onon thethe M3m3 andand A303a303 .. BYby TRAINtrain therethere arebe mainmain lineline servicesservice betweenbetween Londonlondon (( Paddingtonpaddington )) andand Tauntontaunton ;; Londonlondon (( Waterloowaterloo )) andand Yeovilyeovil ,, andand fromfrom thethe Northnorth therethere arebe servicesservice callingcall atat Highbridgehighbridge andand Tauntontaunton (( viavia Bristolbristol )) .. BYby COACHcoach ,, Tauntontaunton ,, Yeovilyeovil andand otherother townstown arebe servedserve byby regularregular longlong distancedistance servicesservice ,, (( detailsdetail fromfrom youryour nearestnear busbus andand coachcoach stationstation oror traveltravel agentagent )) .. BYby AIRair ,, bothboth Bristolbristol andand Exeterexeter airportsairport arebe veryvery convenientconvenient forfor Somersetsomerset .. SOso COMEcome !! PRICESprice :: Allall pricesprice quotedquote arebe perper nightnight duringduring 19921992 ,, unlessunless otherwiseotherwise statedstate .. Thethe pricesprice givengive arebe aa guideguide lineline forfor thethe readerreader andand arebe normallynormally basedbase onon thethe costcost ofof oneone personperson sharingshare aa doubledouble oror twintwin beddedbedded roomroom withwith breakfastbreakfast includedinclude (( aa singlesingle guestguest shouldshould expectexpect toto paypay moremuch )) .. Wewe recommendrecommend thatthat youyou checkcheck pricesprice withwith thethe establishmentestablishment beforebefore bookingbook .. CANCELLATIONcancellation :: Whenwhen youyou bookbook youryour accommodationaccommodation ,, youyou willwill bebe enteringenter intointo aa legallylegally bindingbinding contractcontract whichwhich cancan onlyonly bebe brokenbreak byby mutualmutual consentconsent .. Ifif youyou havehave toto cancelcancel oror changechange youryour plansplan ,, youyou maymay bebe chargedcharge aa cancellationcancellation feefee .. Insuranceinsurance isbe availableavailable quitequite cheaplycheaply whichwhich wouldwould safeguardsafeguard youyou inin suchsuch ana eventevent .. Youryour traveltravel agentagent oror insuranceinsurance brokerbroker cancan adviseadvise youyou furtherfar onon thisthis .. COMPLAINTScomplaint :: Wewe naturallynaturally hopehope thatthat youyou willwill notnot havehave anyany causecause forfor complaintcomplaint .. Ifif aa problemproblem doesdo arisearise andand youyou arebe dissatisfieddissatisfied ,, makemake youryour complaintcomplaint toto thethe managermanager atat thethe timetime ofof thethe incidentincident .. Thisthis givesgive ana opportunityopportunity forfor actionaction toto bebe takentake at once atat onceonce andand forfor thingsthing toto bebe putput rightright withoutwithout delaydelay .. Itit isbe usuallyusually moremuch difficultdifficult toto dealdeal moremuch effectivelyeffectively withwith aa complaintcomplaint ifif itit isbe reportedreport atat aa laterlate datedate .. Wewe willwill findfind itit veryvery helpfulhelpful toto receivereceive commentscomment fromfrom thethe publicpublic aboutabout establishmentsestablishment listedlist inin thisthis publicationpublication andand suggestionssuggestion onon howhow toto improveimprove thethe brochurebrochure .. ACCOMMODATIONaccommodation CLASSIFICATIONclassification ANDand GRADINGgrading :: Oneone toto fivefive crownscrown andand Ll (( Listedlisted )) ââ Englishenglish Touristtourist Board'sboard classificationclassification ofof facilitiesfacility andand servicesservice forfor Caravancaravan ,, Campingcamping Sitessite andand Self-Cateringself-catering accommodationaccommodation .. as well as Asas wellwell asas beingbe classifiedclassify ,, manymany establishmentsestablishment havehave appliedapply forfor gradinggrading whichwhich isbe indicatedindicate asas e.g.e.g. Approvedapproved ,, Commendedcommended etcetc .. N.B.n.b. Aa higherhigh classificationclassification doesdo notnot necessarilynecessarily meanmean thatthat thethe qualityquality ofof whatwhat isbe providedprovide isbe higherhigh thanthan thatthat availableavailable inin ana establishmentestablishment withwith aa lowerlow classificationclassification .. Anan explanatoryexplanatory leafletleaflet isbe availableavailable fromfrom thethe Somersetsomerset Visitorvisitor Centrescentre atat Sedgemoorsedgemoor Servicesservice (( M5m5 )) andand Podimorepodimore (( A303a303 )) andand mostmost Touristtourist Informationinformation Centrescentre .. DESCRIPTIONSdescription :: Thisthis brochurebrochure hashave beenbe publishedpublish byby Somersetsomerset Tourismtourism ,, aa serviceservice maintainedmaintain byby Somersetsomerset Countycounty Councilcouncil .. Allall descriptionsdescription aboutabout eacheach establishmentestablishment havehave beenbe suppliedsupply byby thethe individualindividual entrantsentrant andand havehave notnot beenbe verifiedverify byby Somersetsomerset Tourismtourism asas publisherspublisher .. Althoughalthough thethe detailsdetail containedcontain inin thisthis brochurebrochure havehave beenbe publishedpublish inin goodgood faithfaith ,, Somersetsomerset Tourismtourism cancan notnot acceptaccept anyany liabilityliability forfor inaccuraciesinaccuracy oror omissionsomission oror forfor anyany lossloss oror damagedamage inin anyany wayway connectedconnect withwith oror arisingarise out of outout ofof thethe publicationpublication ofof thisthis informationinformation .. Ourour disableddisabled visitorsvisitor maymay findfind thesethese Districtdistrict listslist ofof parkingparking andand toilettoilet facilitiesfacility helpfulhelpful .. WESTwest SOMERSETsomerset DISTRICTdistrict ââ Mineheadminehead towntown centrecentre hashave loweredlower kerbskerb suitablesuitable forfor wheelchairswheelchair .. Freefree carcar parkingparking toto peoplepeople in receipt of inin receiptreceipt ofof mobilitymobility allowanceallowance andand claimingclaim exemptionexemption fromfrom roadroad fundfund dutyduty .. Reservedreserved spacesspace atat Mineheadminehead (( Summerlandsummerland Rdrd )) ;; Watchetwatchet (( Swainswain Stst )) ;; Willitonwilliton (( behindbehind councilcouncil officesoffice )) .. Allall toiletstoilet inin Westwest Somersetsomerset arebe normallynormally unlockedunlock .. SEDGEMOORsedgemoor DISTRICTdistrict ââ Freefree carcar parkingparking withwith currentcurrent orangeorange badgebadge .. Limitedlimited numbernumber ofof reservedreserved spacesspace availableavailable .. Toiletstoilet forfor thethe Disableddisabled atat Breanbrean (( oppopp .. Weston-s-Mareweston-s-mare turningturning )) ;; Bridgwaterbridgwater (( Watsonswatsons Lanelane )) ;; Burnham-on-Seaburnham-on-sea (( Pierpier Stst carcar parkpark andand Seasea Viewview Rdrd )) ;; Cheddarcheddar (( Cliffcliff Stst carcar parkpark )) ;; Highbridgehighbridge (( Bankbank Stst carcar parkpark )) ;; Nethernether Stoweystowey (( Castlecastle Stst )) ;; Northnorth Pethertonpetherton (( Highhigh Stst )) .. Majoritymajority ofof toiletstoilet arebe lockedlocked andand requirerequire aa RADARradar keykey ââ availableavailable fromfrom Socialsocial Serviceservice departmentsdepartment oror maymay bebe purchasedpurchase fromfrom Burnham-on-Seaburnham-on-sea oror Cheddarcheddar Touristtourist Informationinformation Centrescentre .. TAUNTONtaunton DEANEdeane ââ Freefree carcar parkingparking allowedallow onlyonly toto peoplepeople in receipt of inin receiptreceipt ofof mobilitymobility allowanceallowance andand claimingclaim exemptionexemption fromfrom roadroad fundfund dutyduty .. Reservedreserved spacesspace atat Tauntontaunton (( multimulti storeystorey Paulpaul Stst ,, Highhigh Stst ,, Crescentcrescent Northnorth behindbehind Crowncrown Walkwalk ,, Belvederebelvedere Rdrd ââ alsoalso ASDAasda ,, Greatgreat Millsmills ,, Queensway/MFIqueensway/mfi ,, Texastexas superstoressuperstore )) .. MENDIPmendip ââ Freefree carcar parkingparking withwith currentcurrent orangeorange badgebadge .. Limitedlimited reservedreserved spacesspace availableavailable .. Allall toiletstoilet accessibleaccessible byby RADARradar keyskey onlyonly ââ availableavailable onon loanloan fromfrom Touristtourist Informationinformation Centrescentre atat Fromefrome ,, Glastonburyglastonbury ,, Sheptonshepton Malletmallet andand Wellswells ,, andand forfor purchasepurchase atat Mendipmendip Districtdistrict Councilcouncil Officesoffice ,, Cannardscannards Gravegrave Roadroad ,, Sheptonshepton Malletmallet .. SOUTHsouth SOMERSETsomerset ââ Freefree carcar parkingparking withwith currentcurrent orangeorange badgebadge .. Reservedreserved spacesspace atat Yeovilyeovil (( disableddisabled onlyonly betweenbetween Tescotesco andand Gatewaygateway )) ;; Crewkernecrewkerne ;; Chardchard .. SPECIALspecial OPPORTUNITIESopportunity Thethe followingfollowing establishmentsestablishment havehave indicatedindicate thatthat theythey arebe whollywholly oror partiallypartially suitablesuitable forfor disableddisabled visitorsvisitor .. Pagepage numbersnumber referrefer toto thisthis brochurebrochure .. PLEASEplease NOTEnote ââ Thethe informationinformation onon thisthis pagepage hashave beenbe suppliedsupply byby Districtdistrict Councilscouncil andand individualindividual establishmentsestablishment andand hashave notnot beenbe verifiedverify byby Somersetsomerset Tourismtourism .. Pleaseplease checkcheck withwith establishmentsestablishment toto ensureensure suitabilitysuitability beforebefore makingmake furtherfar arrangementsarrangement .. DOdo YOURyour OWNown THINGthing â¦â¦ Whateverwhatever itit maymay bebe !! Thesethese arebe aa fewfew suggestionssuggestion forfor thethe activeactive .. ORor SIMPLYsimply RELAXrelax andand enjoyenjoy thethe quietquiet Somersetsomerset lifelife withwith freshfresh airair amongamong greengreen hillshill .. CAVINGcaving .. Easyeasy guidedguided tourstour inin thethe wonderfulwonderful showcavesshowcave atat Cheddarcheddar andand Wookeywookey .. Trytry adventureadventure cavingcaving ifif youyou 'rebe reallyreally energeticenergetic !! COURSEScourse .. Sportssport ,, hobbieshobby ,, activitiesactivity â¦â¦ Residentialresidential centrescentre andand holidayholiday packagespackage forfor just about justjust aboutabout anyany interestinterest .. CYCLINGcycling .. Cyclecycle hirehire availableavailable andand lotslots ofof routesroute .. FISHINGfishing .. Riverriver andand reservoirreservoir trouttrout ââ coarsecoarse onon thethe Levelslevel ââ somesome pike-seapike-sea fishingfishing .. GOLFgolf .. Seasideseaside linkslink toto parpar threethree parklandparkland .. Coursecourse listlist availableavailable .. RIDINGriding .. more than Moremore thanthan fiftyfifty Centrescentre inin Somersetsomerset ââ manymany cancan offeroffer instructioninstruction andand accommodationaccommodation ,, somesome stablingstabling .. SEAsea ANDand SANDsand .. Fortyforty milesmile ofof coastlinecoastline includesinclude Exmoor'sexmoor rockyrocky covescove ,, Sedgemoor'ssedgemoor sevenseven milesmile ofof sandsand .. Attractiveattractive harboursharbour andand majormajor resortsresort atat Mineheadminehead andand Burnhamburnham ,, Berrowberrow andand Breanbrean .. SPORTsport FORfor EVERYONEeveryone .. Spectatorspectator eventsevent ,, eighteight familyfamily sportssport centrescentre ,, tenten swimmingswimming poolspool .. WALKINGwalking .. Towntown trailstrail ,, forestforest trailstrail ,, naturenature trailstrail ,, guidedguided walkswalk ,, waymarkedwaymarked routesroute ,, longlong distancedistance walkswalk andand walkingwalking holidaysholiday .. Aa hugehuge choicechoice andand plentyplenty ofof Informationinformation Centrescentre forfor casualcasual strollersstroller oror energeticenergetic backpackersbackpacker .. Checkcheck withwith anyany Somersetsomerset Informationinformation Centrecentre forfor moremore detailsdetail andand otherother opportunitiesopportunity inin theirtheir areaarea .. pagespage 66 andand 77 omittedomit asas instructedinstruct WESTwest SOMERSETsomerset FROMfrom EXMOORexmoor TOto THEthe SEAsea Westwest Somersetsomerset hashave activitiesactivity andand attractionsattraction forfor everyoneeveryone andand visitorsvisitor willwill findfind aa wealthwealth ofof interestinterest andand enjoymentenjoyment .. MINEHEADminehead Thethe principalprincipal resortresort isbe characterfulcharacterful Mineheadminehead .. Protectedprotect byby woodedwooded Northnorth Hillhill ,, itsits climateclimate isbe particularlyparticularly mildmild .. Forfor centuriescentury aa seaportseaport ââ todaytoday thethe harbourharbour isbe stillstill aa havenhaven forfor yachtsmenyachtsman ,, fishingfishing boatsboat andand pleasurepleasure cruiserscruiser .. Thatchedthatched cottagescottage clustercluster roundround thethe harbourharbour whilewhile atat thethe otherother endend ofof thethe widewide sandysandy beachbeach Somerwestsomerwest Worldworld offersoffer aa completecomplete rangerange ofof entertainmententertainment toto holidaymakersholidaymaker andand dayday visitorsvisitor .. Aa tree-linedtree-lined avenueavenue leadslead toto Minehead'sminehead shoppingshopping centrecentre andand thethe district'sdistrict mainmain touristtourist informationinformation centrecentre .. Aquasplashaquasplash isbe Minehead'sminehead newnew indoorindoor leisureleisure poolpool openingopening inin Maymay 19921992 withwith allall weatherweather funfun forfor everyoneeveryone .. EXMOORexmoor NATIONALnational PARKpark Thethe variedvaried sceneryscenery ofof Exmoorexmoor isbe wellwell worthworth exploringexplore .. Itsits statusstatus asas aa Nationalnational Parkpark meansmean thatthat itsits beautybeauty andand wildlifewildlife willwill bebe protectedprotect forfor generationsgeneration toto comecome .. Thisthis isbe idealideal countrycountry forfor walkingwalking ,, birdbird watchingwatch ,, horsehorse ridingriding andand fishingfishing ,, andand wherewhere redred deerdeer cancan alsoalso bebe seensee byby thethe patientpatient watcherwatcher .. Exmoorexmoor offersoffer unrivalledunrivalled opportunitiesopportunity toto unwindunwind ââ itsits dramaticdramatic sceneryscenery ,, quietquiet villagevillage centrescentre andand smallsmall townstown havehave beenbe welcomingwelcoming visitorsvisitor forfor centuriescentury .. Oneone ofof thethe mostmuch photographedphotograph isbe mediaevalmediaeval Dunsterdunster withwith itsits yarnyarn marketmarket ,, castlecastle andand workingworking millmill .. Porlockporlock isbe notnot onlyonly famousfamous forfor itsits steepsteep hillhill butbut isbe alsoalso aa superbsuperb centrecentre forfor touringtour Exmoorexmoor .. Toto thethe westwest isbe Lornalorna Doonedoone countrycountry mademake famousfamous byby R.D.r.d. Blackmore'sblackmore Victorianvictorian novelnovel .. Exmoor'sexmoor southernsouthern gatewaygateway isbe thethe prettypretty towntown ofof Dulvertondulverton .. Porlockporlock Weirweir Mineheadminehead Selworthyselworthy Allerfordallerford Selworthyselworthy Farmfarm Parkspark arebe funfun !! Exmoorexmoor tourstour â¦â¦ â¦â¦ oror walkswalk Dunsterdunster Mineheadminehead harbourharbour WESTwest SOMERSETsomerset Aa WEALTHwealth OFof PLACESplace TOto VISITvisit Blueblue Anchoranchor hashave itsits ownown unspoiltunspoilt charmcharm andand isbe aa goodgood spotspot forfor beachbeach fishingfishing .. Steamsteam trainstrain stopstop atat thethe restoredrestored stationstation onon thethe Westwest Somersetsomerset Railwayrailway whichwhich runsrun pastpast thethe beachbeach fromfrom Mineheadminehead inlandinland toto Bishopsbishops Lydeardlydeard nearnear Tauntontaunton .. Atat Washfordwashford cancan bebe foundfind thethe ruinsruin ofof 13th13th centurycentury Cleevecleeve Abbeyabbey ,, thethe Tropiquariatropiquaria tropicaltropical househouse andand aquariumaquarium andand aa museummuseum ofof railwayrailway relicsrelic .. Thethe harbourharbour towntown ofof Watchetwatchet hashave aa historyhistory goinggo backback overover aa thousandthousand yearsyear andand isbe stillstill ana activeactive tradingtrading portport .. Beebee Worldworld ââ aa newnew attractionattraction ââ opensopen next to nextnext toto Stogumberstogumber Stationstation inin 19921992 .. BETWEENbetween THEthe QUANTOCKSquantocks ANDand THEthe BRENDONSbrendons Thethe valleyvalley betweenbetween thethe Quantocksquantocks andand thethe Brendonbrendon Hillshills isbe wellwell worthworth exploringexplore .. Willitonwilliton isbe thethe mainmain centrecentre withwith plentyplenty ofof villagesvillage toto exploreexplore likelike Stogumberstogumber ,, Crowcombecrowcombe andand Bicknollerbicknoller .. Combecombe Sydenhamsydenham countrycountry parkpark hashave beautifulbeautiful walkswalk andand tastytasty trouttrout forfor salesale whilstwhilst Stogurseystogursey boastsboast aa moatedmoated ruinedruined castlecastle andand Normannorman churchchurch .. Westwest Somersetsomerset Railwayrailway Somerset'ssomerset creamcream teastea arebe famousfamous Tarrtarr Stepsstep Hurlestonehurlestone Pointpoint Dunsterdunster Packagespackage andand Breaksbreak TWOtwo NIGHTSnight BREAKbreak CHANNELchannel HOUSEhouse HOTELhotel Perfectlyperfectly positionedposition withinwithin twotwo acresacre ofof secludedsecluded gardensgarden ,, thethe hotelhotel isbe aa havenhaven ofof peacepeace andand tranquilitytranquility .. Thethe luxuryluxury bedroomsbedroom andand superbsuperb cookingcooking havehave encouragedencourage Ashleyashley Courtneycourtney toto givegive Channelchannel Househouse hishis highesthigh recommendationrecommendation .. Thethe hotelhotel isbe thethe perfectperfect choicechoice forfor thosethose whowho enjoyenjoy theirtheir comfortcomfort andand appreciateappreciate qualityquality andand goodgood foodfood .. SOMERSETsomerset BREAKSbreak COMBEcombe HOUSEhouse HOTELhotel Familyfamily runrun 17th17th centurycentury countrycountry househouse ofof greatgreat charmcharm inin thethe heartheart ofof thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills withwith 2323 tastefullytastefully furnishedfurnished bedroomsbedroom .. Hardhard tennistennis courtcourt ,, indoorindoor swimmingswimming poolpool andand saunasauna alsoalso availableavailable .. Breakbreak availableavailable anyany timetime butbut mustmust quotequote "" Somersetsomerset Breakbreak "" onon bookingbooking .. Twotwo nightsnight (( fromfrom )) ££ 6868 .. Additionaladditional nightsnight pro rata propro ratarata lessless 55 %% .. Priceprice includesinclude accommodationaccommodation ,, privateprivate bathroombathroom ,, TVtv ,, teatea makermaker ,, telephonetelephone ,, breakfastbreakfast andand fourfour coursecourse dinnerdinner includinginclude coffeecoffee .. Freefree accommodationaccommodation forfor oneone childchild sharingshare parentsparent roomroom (( foodfood asas takentake )) .. FERNfern COTTAGEcottage Exhilaratingexhilarating Exmoorexmoor ,, sweepingsweeping coastalcoastal andand hillhill sceneryscenery ,, abundantabundant wildlifewildlife .. Walkswalk startstart onon doorstepdoorstep ofof largelarge 17th17th centurycentury cottagecottage inin aa tinytiny Nationalnational Trusttrust villagevillage inin aa woodwood fringedfringed valevale .. Aa traditionaltraditional countrycountry homehome ,, loglog firesfire ,, finefine classicclassic cookingcooking ,, comprehensivecomprehensive winewine listlist ,, peacepeace ,, gloriousglorious ridingriding (( arrangedarrange nearbynearby )) ,, enchantingenchanting villagesvillage ,, crystalcrystal riversriver ,, thethe scentscent ofof heatherheather .. Non-smokingnon-smoking .. SHORTshort BREAKbreak REMUERAremuera HOTELhotel Commandingcommanding superbsuperb viewsview acrossacross thethe baybay toto thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills ,, withwith itsits ownown lovelylovely foregardenforegarden .. Thethe Remueraremuera offersoffer thethe chancechance toto reallyreally relaxrelax andand enjoyenjoy aa lovelylovely countrycountry homehome .. Fullfull Englishenglish breakfastbreakfast ,, splendidsplendid dinnerdinner andand delightfuldelightful ensuiteensuite bedroomsbedroom .. Extraextra nightnight ££ 3636 .. Reducedreduced ratesrate inin Augustaugust andand 77 plusplus nightsnight fromfrom ££ 3232 .. Christmaschristmas availableavailable .. SHORTshort BREAKbreak THEthe WYNDCOTTwyndcott HOTELhotel Thisthis smallsmall beautifulbeautiful countrycountry househouse hotelhotel isbe situatedsituate inin lovelylovely gardensgarden withwith magnificentmagnificent panoramicpanoramic viewsview ofof thethe coastlinecoastline andand Exmoorexmoor Nationalnational Parkpark .. Exquisiteexquisite drieddried flowersflower ,, prettypretty chinachina ,, superbsuperb cuisinecuisine .. Dinnerdinner ,, bedbed andand breakfastbreakfast .. Extraextra nightnight ££ 3232 .. Weeklyweekly fromfrom ££ 210210 .. Specialspecial winterwinter breaksbreak availableavailable onon requestrequest .. BENARESbenares HOTELhotel Standingstanding inin 1.51.5 acresacre ofof beautifulbeautiful groundsground ,, thethe hotelhotel commandscommand superbsuperb viewsview ofof thethe baybay andand thethe hillshill .. Renownedrenowned forfor itsits goodgood foodfood ,, comfortcomfort andand hospitalityhospitality ,, Thethe Benaresbenares makesmake ana idealideal centrecentre forfor touringtour Exmoorexmoor .. Bargainbargain breaksbreak availableavailable fromfrom Marchmarch toto Novembernovember .. Ringring oror writewrite toto Annann Sladeslade forfor furtherfar detailsdetail .. BLUEblue ANCHORanchor PARKpark Positionedposition atat thethe water'swater edgeedge ,, thisthis isbe ana idealideal locationlocation fromfrom whichwhich toto exploreexplore Exmoorexmoor andand thethe surroundingsurrounding areaarea .. Holidayholiday homeshome forfor salesale andand toto letlet .. Touringtouring pitchespitch withwith hardhard standingstanding ,, electricelectric hook-upshook-up andand hothot showersshower .. Indoorindoor leisureleisure poolpool ,, adventureadventure playgroundplayground ,, shopshop andand launderettelaunderette .. Aa Roserose Awardaward Parkpark andand membermember ofof thethe Hoburnehoburne Groupgroup .. WESTwest BAYbay CARAVANcaravan PARKpark Aa peacefulpeaceful Roserose Awardaward parkpark onon thethe coastcoast withwith panoramicpanoramic viewsview ofof Somersetsomerset andand Welshwelsh coastscoast .. 400400 yardsyard fromfrom oldold harbourharbour towntown ofof Watchetwatchet .. Ideallyideally situatedsituate forfor aa quietquiet relaxingrelaxing holidayholiday oror touringtouring Exmoorexmoor andand thethe Quantocksquantocks .. Onlyonly 700700 yardsyard fromfrom Westwest Somersetsomerset Railwayrailway Stationstation .. Shortshort breaksbreak onon requestrequest .. Self-Cateringself-catering MEADOWmeadow BUNGALOWSbungalow Holidayholiday bungalowsbungalow inin aa lovelylovely levellevel gardengarden settingsetting .. Twotwo bedroomsbedroom ,, lounge/dinerlounge/diner ,, kitchenkitchen ,, bathroombathroom ,, all-electricall-electric ,, colourcolour TVtv ,, fridgefridge .. Aa quietquiet countrycountry sitesite betweenbetween Exmoorexmoor andand thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills ,, lessless thanthan ¼¼ milemile fromfrom seasea andand ana idealideal centrecentre forfor exploringexplore thethe gloriousglorious surroundingsurrounding countrysidecountryside .. Specialspecial OAPoap ratesrate .. .. Somersetsomerset isbe moremore thanthan justjust prettypretty sceneryscenery SEDGEMOORsedgemoor SEDGEMOORsedgemoor Justjust 3030 milesmile oror soso southsouth westwest ofof Bristolbristol ,, Sedgemoorsedgemoor stretchesstretch fromfrom thethe Mendipmendip Hillshills inin thethe northnorth toto thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills inin thethe southsouth .. Situatedsituate acrossacross thethe lineline ofof thethe M5m5 ,, Sedgemoorsedgemoor isbe easyeasy toto reachreach andand wellwell placedplace forfor touringtour Somersetsomerset .. THEthe COASTcoast Burnham-on-Sea'sburnham-on-sea periodperiod charmcharm hashave attractedattract familiesfamily forfor moremore thanthan aa centurycentury andand offersoffer modernmodern andand traditionaltraditional facilitiesfacility .. Sevenseven milesmile ofof sandysandy beachbeach stretchstretch fromfrom Burnham-on-Seaburnham-on-sea toto Breanbrean Downdown headlandheadland .. Thethe ancientancient towntown ofof Bridgwaterbridgwater ,, astrideastride thethe Riverriver Parrettparrett ,, isbe ana idealideal touringtouring centrecentre .. Thousandsthousands visitvisit thethe towntown inin latelate Septemberseptember forfor Stst Matthewsmatthews Fairfair ââ oneone ofof England'sengland largestlarge ,, datingdate backback toto 13791379 .. Onon thethe Thursdaythursday nearestnearest Novembernovember 55 thethe Carnivalcarnival comescome toto towntown whenwhen Guyguy Fawkesfawkes isbe celebratedcelebrate inin aa riotriot ofof colourcolour andand musicmusic asas more than moremore thanthan 8080 hugehuge illuminatedilluminated floatsfloat processprocess throughthrough thethe towntown .. Squibbingsquibbing displaysdisplay provideprovide aa grandgrand finalefinale .. Burnhamburnham lighthouselighthouse Breanbrean Leisureleisure Parkpark Burnhamburnham SEDGEMOORsedgemoor THEthe HILLShill Thethe Mendipmendip Hillshills markmark Sedgemoor'ssedgemoor northernnorthern boundaryboundary .. Atat theirtheir heartheart isbe thethe Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge andand thethe famousfamous showshow cavescave penetratingpenetrate deepdeep intointo thethe hillshill .. Nearbynearby Axbridgeaxbridge isbe ana attractiveattractive littlelittle towntown hardlyhardly changedchange overover thethe centuriescentury .. Mediaevalmediaeval houseshouse crowdcrowd thethe marketmarket squaresquare includinginclude Kingking John'sjohn Huntinghunting Lodgelodge ,, aa merchant'smerchant towntown househouse nownow openopen toto thethe publicpublic asas aa museummuseum .. Inin thethe southsouth ofof thethe Districtdistrict thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills offeroffer aa softersoft andand moremuch variedvaried landscapelandscape belovedbeloved byby poetspoet Coleridgecoleridge andand Wordsworthwordsworth .. Coleridge'scoleridge cottagecottage inin thethe prettypretty villagevillage ofof Nethernether Stoweystowey isbe openopen toto thethe publicpublic .. Therethere arebe manymany attractiveattractive villagesvillage toto exploreexplore andand highhigh pointspoint fromfrom whichwhich toto enjoyenjoy thethe panoramicpanoramic viewsview .. THEthe LEVELSlevel Betweenbetween thethe Quantocksquantocks andand thethe Mendipsmendips lielie thethe Somersetsomerset Levelslevel .. Thethe landland isbe richrich inin wildlifewildlife andand manymany plantsplant stillstill survivesurvive fromfrom thethe timetime whenwhen thethe areaarea wasbe marshmarsh .. Everywhereeverywhere thethe willowwillow growsgrow andand dragonfliesdragonfly hoverhover overover thethe widewide ditchesditch oror rhymesrhyme .. Inin 16851685 thethe bloodybloody Battlebattle ofof Sedgemoorsedgemoor markedmark thethe endend ofof thethe Dukeduke ofof Monmouth'smonmouth attemptattempt toto taketake thethe thronethrone fromfrom Jamesjames IIii .. Hundredshundreds ofof Somersetsomerset menman dieddie inin thethe battlebattle andand inin thethe executionsexecution orderedorder byby Judgejudge Jeffreysjeffreys atat thethe famousfamous Bloodybloody Assizesassize followingfollow thethe Royalistroyalist victoryvictory .. Thethe Admiraladmiral Blakeblake museummuseum inin Bridgwaterbridgwater hashave relicsrelic ,, modelsmodel ,, displaysdisplay andand mapsmap ofof thethe Battlebattle .. Easyeasy toto reachreach byby roadroad andand railrail ,, Sedgemoorsedgemoor isbe nearernear thanthan youyou thinkthink andand whateverwhatever youryour needsneed ââ aa familyfamily holidayholiday byby thethe seasea ââ aa weekendweekend breakbreak inin unspoiltunspoilt countrysidecountryside ââ oror justjust aa dayday outout ,, aa warmwarm Westwest Countrycountry welcomewelcome awaitsawait youyou inin Sedgemoorsedgemoor .. Attractionsattraction CHEDDARcheddar SHOWCAVESshowcaves Britain'sbritain mostmuch spectacularspectacular cavescave ,, Gough'sgough andand Cox'scox ,, setset beneathbeneath thethe dramaticdramatic limestonelimestone cliffscliff ofof Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge .. Exhibitionexhibition ofof "" Cheddarcheddar Manman "" .. NEWnew ââ "" Thethe Crystalcrystal Questquest "" ,, challengechallenge Mordonmordon ,, Lordlord ofof Darknessdarkness inin thisthis fantasyfantasy adventureadventure playgroundplayground .. Forfor thethe moremuch daringdaring ,, pre-bookpre-book ana excitingexciting Adventureadventure Cavingcaving Expeditionexpedition .. Itit 'sbe hardhard ,, itit 'sbe dirtydirty ,, itit 'sbe funfun .. HINKLEYhinkley POINTpoint POWERpower STATIONstation NEWnew ROADroad OPENopen FARMfarm && LEVELSlevel VISITORvisitor CENTREcentre Discoverdiscover thethe manymany wildlifewildlife displaysdisplay inin thethe surroundingssurroundings ofof aa traditionaltraditional farmfarm .. Thethe observationobservation settsett ,, wherewhere youyou cancan seesee badgerbadger familyfamily lifelife .. Watchwatch playfulplayful minkmink swimswim andand foxesfox sunbathingsunbathe ,, andand muchmuch ,, muchmuch moremuch .. Overover 6060 differentdifferent breedsbreed ofof farmfarm andand wildlifewildlife animalsanimal ,, manymany uniqueunique toto Newnew Roadroad Farmfarm .. Aa fullfull daysday enjoymentenjoyment forfor allall .. Dogsdog welcomewelcome onon leadslead .. Shoppingshopping ,, Eatingeating && Drinkingdrinking CHEDDARcheddar VALLEYvalley VINEYARDSvineyard CRICKETcricket MALHERBIEmalherbie FARMSfarm LTDltd Locallocal Produceproduce && Homehome Cookingcooking ââ Home-Madehome-made Creamcream Teastea && Luncheslunch MOORLYNCHmoorlynch VINEYARDvineyard ââ Shopshop && Winewine Barbar sellingsell Award-Winningaward-winning Wineswine ââ Visitorvisitor Centrecentre ââ findfind outout aboutabout Englishenglish winewine fromfrom grapegrape toto glassglass .. Beautifulbeautiful vineyardvineyard withwith panoramicpanoramic viewsview .. Picturesquepicturesque andand tranquiltranquil settingsetting forfor winewine barbar ,, andand shopshop .. Farmfarm walkswalk andand children'schild playplay areaarea .. Axbridgeaxbridge Cheddarcheddar PACKAGESpackage ANDand BREAKSbreak SHORTshort BREAKbreak WEBBINGTONwebbington HOTELhotel Edwardianedwardian Manormanor Househouse withwith extensiveextensive leisureleisure andand conferenceconference facilitiesfacility .. Weekendweekend andand midweekmidweek breaksbreak availableavailable as well as asas wellwell asas aa summersummer specialspecial duringduring Augustaugust ;; Justjust ££ 203203 perper personperson forfor sevenseven nightsnight .. Underunder 1212 staystay freefree andand paypay forfor mealsmeal asas takentake .. Twotwo nightsnight ££ 8484 ;; additionaladditional nightsnight ££ 3030 .. Breaksbreak availableavailable atat allall timestime .. Hotelshotel ,, Guesthousesguesthouse && Farmsfarm NEVYSnevys HOUSEhouse LAMBlamb GUESTguest HOUSEhouse QUANTOCKquantock VIEWview GUESTguest HOUSEhouse BLACKblack SMOCKsmock INNinn TORtor FARMfarm Cheddarcheddar 33 milesmile .. Tortor Farmfarm isbe situatedsituate onon thethe Somersetsomerset Levelslevel wherewhere wildlifewildlife arebe inin abundanceabundance .. Openopen viewsview fromfrom everyevery windowwindow .. Centralcentral heatingheating ,, tea/coffeetea/coffee inin bedroomsbedroom .. Eveningevening mealsmeal .. Ensuiteensuite andand Fourfour Posterposter bedroomsbedroom .. Idealideal basebase forfor Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge andand Cavescave ,, Bathbath ,, Wookeywookey Holehole ,, Wellswells ,, Glastonburyglastonbury andand thethe coastcoast .. PROSPECTprospect FARMfarm YEWyew TREEtree FARMfarm TUDORtudor COURTcourt FARMfarm SHRUBshrub FARMfarm COUNTRYcountry HOTELhotel 500500 yearyear oldold Countrycountry Hotelhotel setset inin 44 acresacre .. Closeclose toto Wellswells ,, Cheddarcheddar ,, Wookeywookey ,, Bathbath ,, Glastonburyglastonbury ,, Bristolbristol andand toto M5m5 Junctionjunction 2222 1010 bedroomsbedroom ,, allall ensuiteensuite withwith hairdryerhairdryer ,, telephonetelephone ,, trousertrouser presspress ,, satellitesatellite TVtv andand tea/coffeetea/coffee .. Fourfour Posterposter availableavailable .. Restaurantrestaurant offersoffer ana a la carte Aa lala Cartecarte menumenu nightlynightly .. Openopen forfor Morningmorning Coffeecoffee ,, Barbar Snackssnack ,, Luncheslunch andand Creamcream Teastea everydayeveryday .. Golfgolf andand horseridinghorseriding nearbynearby .. Petspet andand childrenchild welcomewelcome .. AAaa RACrac .. WEBBINGTONwebbington HOTELhotel Caravancaravan ,, Campingcamping && Holidayholiday Parkspark BREANbrean LEISUREleisure PARKpark DIAMONDdiamond FARMfarm CARAVANcaravan PARKpark DOLPHINdolphin CARAVANcaravan PARKpark EDITHMEADedithmead LEISUREleisure && PARKpark HOMEShome SANDYGLADEsandyglade HOLIDAYholiday PARKpark Spaciousspacious ,, fullyfully fittedfitted holidayholiday homeshome withwith aa choicechoice ofof oneone ,, twotwo oror threethree bedroomsbedroom ;; pricesprice fullyfully inclusiveinclusive .. Facilitiesfacility onon parkpark includeinclude freefree entertainmententertainment inin licensedlicensed clubclub househouse featuringfeature toptop artistsartist ,, childrenschildrens showsshow andand clubclub ,, adventureadventure playgroundplayground ,, shopshop andand launderettelaunderette ;; rightright oppositeopposite beachbeach .. Boatingboating ,, fishingfishing ,, horseridinghorseriding andand golfgolf availableavailable locallylocally .. UNITYunity FARMfarm HOLIDAYholiday CENTREcentre Situatedsituate inin 200200 acresacre ofof levellevel meadowlandmeadowland withwith viewsview overover openopen countrysidecountryside towardstowards Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge .. Facilitiesfacility includeinclude ana 18-hole18-hole golfgolf coursecourse ,, pondpond andand seasea fishingfishing ,, funfun parkpark ,, eveningevening entertainmententertainment ,, indoorindoor poolpool withwith waterwater slideslide complexcomplex .. 1212 luxuryluxury holidayholiday homeshome ,, hook-upshook-up forfor tentstent andand tourerstourer .. Freefree pitchespitch Junejune andand Septseptember mid-weekmid-week forfor overover 50's50 ,, specialspecial themetheme weekendsweekend .. Childrenchild willwill lovelove ourour "" Pigletpiglet Clubclub "" .. Dialdial aa Colourcolour Brochurebrochure ââ Teltel :: 02780278 751235751235 .. WARRENwarren FARMfarm CARAVANcaravan && CAMPINGcamping PARKpark Flatflat ,, grassygrassy parkpark withwith panoramicpanoramic viewsview ofof thethe Mendipsmendips .. 100100 metresmetre fromfrom fivefive milesmile ofof sandysandy beachbeach .. Familyfamily parkpark withwith excellentexcellent facilitiesfacility .. Freefree colourcolour brochurebrochure .. Self-Cateringself-catering DULHORNdulhorn FARMfarm PROSPECTprospect FARMfarm 17th17th Centurycentury picturesquepicturesque countrycountry cottagescottage setset amidstamidst flowerflower gardensgarden andand surroundedsurround byby countrysidecountryside .. Wewe havehave aa varietyvariety ofof smallsmall farmfarm animalsanimal ,, poultrypoultry andand petspet ,, andand childrenchild arebe veryvery welcomewelcome atat Prospectprospect Farmfarm toto participateparticipate .. Wewe arebe situatedsituate midwaymidway betweenbetween Weston-super-Mareweston-super-mare andand Burnham-on-Seaburnham-on-sea ââ 33 milesmile seasideseaside .. WILLOWwillow BARNSbarn Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge THISthis ISbe SOMERSETsomerset COASTcoast ANDand COUNTRYSIDEcountryside Somersetsomerset isbe whatwhat youyou wantwant itit toto bebe ââ therethere 'sbe somethingsomething forfor just about justjust aboutabout everybodyeverybody .. Seasideseaside holidaysholiday arebe alwaysalways popularpopular andand whetherwhether youyou wantwant aa familyfamily caravancaravan oror friendlyfriendly smallsmall guesthouseguesthouse oror hotelhotel youyou 'llwill findfind itit onon Somerset'ssomerset fortyforty milesmile ofof variedvaried coastcoast .. Inlandinland ,, youyou cancan getget closeclose toto thethe countrysidecountryside withwith aa fewfew daysday onon aa farmfarm oror perhapsperhaps pamperpamper yourselfyourself withwith aa luxuryluxury hotelhotel .. Andand therethere arebe manymany comfortablecomfortable ,, usuallyusually familyfamily runrun hotelshotel toto choosechoose fromfrom as well asas wellwell .. IDEALideal FORfor Aa BREAKbreak Ifif youryour ideaidea ofof gettingget away from awayaway fromfrom itit allall isbe relaxationrelaxation ,, thethe bestgood ofof Englishenglish countrysidecountryside andand thethe goodgood thingsthing ofof lifelife ,, thenthen Somersetsomerset 'sbe thethe placeplace forfor youyou .. Ifif youyou likelike exploringexplore andand uncoveringuncover historyhistory thenthen ourour heritageheritage willwill delightdelight youyou .. Legendslegend andand mysterymystery tootoo ââ Somersetsomerset isbe wherewhere Alfredalfred burntburn thethe cakescake andand thethe countrycountry ofof Arthurianarthurian romanceromance andand speculationspeculation .. Therethere arebe modernmodern andand traditionaltraditional attractionsattraction forfor allall tastestaste ,, fromfrom seasideseaside pierpier toto wildlifewildlife parkpark ââ aircraftaircraft museummuseum toto showcavesshowcave ââ statelystately houseshouse ,, gardensgarden ,, artsart ,, craftscraft ,, shoppingshopping ,, theatretheatre ,, sportssport â¦â¦ above all Aboveabove allall ,, Somersetsomerset isbe easyeasy toto reachreach butbut soso hardhard toto leaveleave .. SEEsee YOUyou SOONsoon !! Startstart youryour holidayholiday oror dayday outout planningplan withwith thisthis quickquick guideguide .. Thethe pagespage thatthat followfollow willwill taketake youyou fromfrom Somerset'ssomerset coastalcoastal areasarea intointo thethe richlyrichly variedvaried countrysidecountryside withwith holidayholiday offersoffer andand accommodationaccommodation detailsdetail .. WESTwest SOMERSETsomerset Exmoorexmoor Nationalnational Parkpark ââ landland ofof wildwild redred deerdeer andand legendarylegendary homehome ofof Lornalorna Doonedoone ââ 265265 squaresquare milesmile ofof moorlandmoorland dramadrama reachingreach toto overover 17001700 feetfoot atat Dunkerydunkery Beaconbeacon .. Mineheadminehead isbe Westwest Somerset'ssomerset busybusy seasideseaside gatewaygateway toto thisthis magnificentmagnificent countrysidecountryside withwith itsits manymany outdooroutdoor pursuitspursuit .. Exmoorexmoor meetsmeet thethe seasea inin rockyrocky covescove andand ,, furtherfar easteast ,, therethere arebe historichistoric portsport andand holidayholiday resortsresort .. Inlandinland ,, picturesquepicturesque villagesvillage nestlenestle inin thethe woodedwooded Brendonbrendon Hillshills .. TAUNTONtaunton DEANEdeane Inin thethe heartheart ofof thethe Districtdistrict isbe Tauntontaunton ,, Somerset'ssomerset countrycountry towntown withwith shoppingshopping ,, entertainmententertainment andand aa famousfamous castlecastle .. Inin thethe southsouth ,, thethe Blackdownblackdown Hillshills arebe dominateddominate byby thethe towntown ofof Wellington'swellington monumentmonument toto thethe Ironiron Dukeduke .. Thisthis isbe aa landscapelandscape ofof churchchurch towerstower ,, thatchthatch roofsroof andand cidercider orchardsorchard withwith welcomingwelcoming countrycountry pubspub .. Toto thethe easteast ofof Tauntontaunton arebe thethe "" withywithy "" bedsbed fromfrom whichwhich hard-wearinghard-wearing andand attractiveattractive willowwillow basketsbasket andand furniturefurniture arebe mademake inin thethe traditionaltraditional mannermanner .. SOUTHsouth SOMERSETsomerset Throughoutthroughout Southsouth Somersetsomerset isbe thethe warmwarm honeyhoney colourcolour ofof thethe Hamstonehamstone useduse inin generationsgeneration ofof buildingsbuilding inin picturesquepicturesque townstown andand villagesvillage as well as asas wellwell asas thethe grandgrand andand statelystately homeshome ofof thethe aristocracyaristocracy .. Manymany ofof thesethese ,, withwith theirtheir finefine gardensgarden ,, arebe openopen toto viewview .. Inin thethe gentlegentle ,, rollingrolling countrysidecountryside nearnear Yeovilyeovil isbe Cadburycadbury Hillhill ,, Kingking Arthur'sarthur legendarylegendary Camelotcamelot .. Southsouth Somersetsomerset isbe aa countrysidecountryside ofof lovelylovely buildingsbuilding andand churcheschurch withwith manymany finefine walkswalk andand cyclingcycling opportunitiesopportunity fromfrom whichwhich toto enjoyenjoy themthem .. SEDGEMOORsedgemoor Sevenseven milesmile ofof sandysandy beachbeach andand thousandsthousands ofof familyfamily holidaysholiday aroundaround Burnhamburnham ,, Berrowberrow andand Breanbrean .. Inlandinland isbe thethe greatgreat lowlandlowland plainplain ofof thethe Levelslevel ââ onceonce aa marshymarshy seasea butbut nownow draineddrain byby thethe rulerruler ââ straightstraight "" rhymesrhyme "" .. Itit wasbe herehere ,, inin 16851685 ,, thatthat thethe Dukeduke ofof Monmouthmonmouth marchedmarch outout fromfrom Bridgwaterbridgwater andand lostlose thethe bloodybloody Battlebattle ofof Sedgemoorsedgemoor .. Inin thethe northnorth ,, Cheddarcheddar Gorgegorge cutscut throughthrough thethe Mendipmendip Hillshills ââ toto thethe southsouth arebe thethe gentlergentle slopesslope ofof thethe Quantocksquantocks .. MENDIPmendip Thethe limestonelimestone Mendipmendip Hillshills dominatedominate thisthis countrysidecountryside .. Superbsuperb walkingwalking countrycountry withwith magnificentmagnificent viewsview towardstowards historichistoric settlementssettlement proudproud ofof theirtheir heritageheritage ââ Wellswells ,, England'sengland smallestsmall citycity ,, dominateddominate byby aa magnificentmagnificent Cathedralcathedral ââ Glastonburyglastonbury ,, thethe cradlecradle ofof Christianitychristianity ,, withwith itsits Abbeyabbey andand thethe Tortor ,, onceonce ana islandisland refugerefuge .. Belowbelow thethe Mendipsmendips arebe thethe undergroundunderground wonderswonder ofof spectacularspectacular showcavesshowcave .. Aboveabove isbe wherewhere youyou 'llwill findfind thethe realreal Cheddarcheddar Cheesecheese ,, strawberriesstrawberry andand winewine .. Wellingtonwellington Monumentmonument Ashtonashton Burnhamburnham Bishopsbishops Palacepalace Wellswells COUNTRYcountry SEATseat ANDand TAUNTONtaunton VALEvale Thethe Valevale ofof Tauntontaunton Deanedeane ,, surroundedsurround byby thethe Quantockquantock ,, Blackdownblackdown andand Brendonbrendon Hillshills ,, isbe inin aa keykey positionposition forfor Southsouth Westwest visitorsvisitor .. Excellentexcellent roadroad andand railrail linkslink makemake accessaccess easyeasy fromfrom allall partspart ofof thethe countrycountry .. Tauntontaunton ,, Somerset'ssomerset countycounty towntown ,, wasbe foundedfound duringduring thethe timetime ofof Kingking Ineine ,, astrideastride thethe peacefulpeaceful ,, picturesquepicturesque Riverriver Tonetone .. Judgejudge Jeffrey'sjeffrey "" Bloodybloody Assizeassize "" wasbe conductedconduct inin thethe imposingimposing Castlecastle afterafter thethe Monmouthmonmouth Rebellionrebellion ââ todaytoday youyou willwill findfind thethe Countycounty Museummuseum .. Aa towntown walkwalk revealsreveal thethe pastpast amongstamongst today'stoday parkspark ,, riversideriverside walkswalk andand excellentexcellent shoppingshopping ,, inin smallsmall ,, exclusiveexclusive shoppingshopping areasarea oror attractiveattractive pedestrianisedpedestrianised areasarea .. SPORTsport ANDand FAMILYfamily INTERESTSinterest Choosechoose fromfrom golfgolf ,, ridingride ,, polopolo ,, bowlsbowl ,, swimmingswimming andand ,, of course ofof coursecourse ,, cricketcricket atat thethe Countycounty Groundground .. Nearbynearby ,, thethe Cricketcricket Museummuseum willwill interestinterest enthusiastsenthusiast .. Thethe Brewhousebrewhouse Theatretheatre offersoffer year-roundyear-round entertainmententertainment andand aa widewide choicechoice ofof restaurantsrestaurant makemake youryour mouthmouth waterwater .. Steamsteam enthusiastsenthusiast maymay rideride Britain'sbritain longestlong privateprivate railwayrailway andand Hestercombehestercombe Househouse willwill delightdelight loverslover ofof formalformal gardensgarden .. Autumnautumn isbe Carnivalcarnival andand Wassailwassail timetime .. Carnival'scarnival hugehuge ,, brightlybrightly litlight floatsfloat willwill dazzledazzle Wellingtonwellington onon Septemberseptember 2626 andand Tauntontaunton onon Octoberoctober 1717 .. Onon Wassailwassail nightnight ,, evilevil spiritsspirit arebe banishedbanish fromfrom thethe orchardsorchard andand offeringsoffering ensureensure nextnext year'syear appleapple cropcrop .. Tauntontaunton Wellingtonwellington HISTORYhistory ANDand TRADITIONALtraditional CRAFTScraft Tauntontaunton Deane'sdeane heritageheritage ofof castlecastle ,, countrycountry houseshouse ,, historichistoric churcheschurch andand villagesvillage reachesreach intointo thethe Somersetsomerset Levelslevel andand Moorsmoor andand Athelneyathelney wherewhere Kingking Alfredalfred burntburn thethe goodgood wife'swife cakescake .. Thethe Willowwillow Craftcraft Trailtrail revealsreveal howhow willowswillow ,, oror "" withieswithy "" arebe growngrow andand mademake intointo aa varietyvariety ofof basketsbasket ,, furniturefurniture andand otherother longlong lastinglast itemsitem .. Youyou willwill findfind aa Neolithicneolithic wovenwoven willowwillow trackwaytrackway atat thethe Countycounty Museummuseum .. Manymany otherother traditionaltraditional craftscraft andand skillsskill cancan alsoalso bebe foundfind inin Tauntontaunton Deane'sdeane attractiveattractive countrysidecountryside .. WORTHworth Aa VISITvisit Muchmuch ofof thethe uniqueunique Levelslevel andand Moorsmoor isbe aa sitesite ofof Specialspecial Scientificscientific Interestinterest withwith aa thrivingthriving diversitydiversity ofof rarerare birdsbird andand plantplant lifelife .. Wordsworthwordsworth enjoyedenjoy thethe Quantockquantock Hillshills ââ nownow ana Areaarea ofof Outstandingoutstanding Naturalnatural Beautybeauty ,, abundantabundant withwith wildlifewildlife andand popularpopular forfor walkingwalking ,, ridingride ,, birdbird watchingwatch oror justjust relaxingrelax .. Thethe Blackdownblackdown Hillshills ,, aboveabove thethe Tonetone valleyvalley ,, offeroffer walkingwalking andand ridingride amongamong superbsuperb beechbeech woodswood .. Thethe Monumentmonument toto thethe Ironiron Dukeduke overlooksoverlook thethe busybusy towntown ofof Wellingtonwellington atat thethe westernwestern endend ofof thethe ridgeridge ,, andand therethere arebe smallsmall countrycountry houseshouse andand birdbird gardensgarden toto visitvisit .. Furtherfar westwest ,, thethe rollingrolling Brendonbrendon Hillshills withwith theirtheir prettypretty villagesvillage ,, farmlandfarmland andand woodedwooded valleysvalley graduallygradually mergemerge intointo thethe wilderwild expanseexpanse ofof Exmoorexmoor .. YOUyou 'REbe WELCOMEwelcome !! Thisthis lovelylovely andand interestinginteresting areaarea withwith itits 'sits friendlyfriendly peoplepeople willwill makemake aa welcomingwelcoming breakbreak ââ atat anyany timetime ofof yearyear .. Attractionsattraction ENGLISHenglish BASKETbasket CENTREcentre Aa Workingworking Willowwillow Farmfarm onon thethe edgeedge ofof thethe Somersetsomerset Levelslevel wherewhere youyou cancan seesee thethe willowwillow cropcrop beingbe processedprocess .. Craftsmencraftsman cancan bebe seensee workingwork thethe willowswillow intointo traditionaltraditional Basketsbasket ,, Hurdleshurdle ,, Roserose Archesarch ,, Bowersbowers ,, Gardengarden Seatsseat andand Summerhousessummerhouse .. Thethe showroomshowroom isbe openopen dailydaily .. Visitvisit thethe fascinatingfascinating museummuseum ofof cidercider andand ruralrural lifelife andand seesee thethe videovideo onon cidercider makingmaking .. Enjoyenjoy youryour visitvisit toto thethe cidercider workswork .. Walkwalk thethe farmfarm andand orchardsorchard trailstrail andand havehave aa picnicpicnic underunder thethe appleapple treestree .. Visitvisit thethe farmfarm shopshop andand samplesample thethe excellentexcellent ciderscider beforebefore youyou buybuy .. Aa warmwarm andand friendlyfriendly Somersetsomerset welcomewelcome awaitsawait youyou .. WILLOWSwillow && WETLANDSwetland VISITORvisitor CENTREcentre Allall aspectsaspect ofof thethe willowwillow industryindustry cancan bebe seensee fromfrom thethe preparationpreparation ofof thethe willowwillow toto thethe finishedfinished basketbasket .. Aa largelarge rangerange ofof genuinegenuine Somersetsomerset basketsbasket mademake herehere onon thethe premisespremise arebe onon salesale .. Otherother itemsitem relatedrelate toto thethe willowwillow industryindustry ,, bothboth pastpast andand presentpresent ,, arebe alsoalso displayeddisplay .. Wiveliscombewiveliscombe PACKAGESpackage && BREAKSbreak THREEthree NIGHTSnight BREAKbreak GREENHAMgreenham HALLhall Turretedturreted Victorianvictorian familyfamily househouse .. Plantplant loverslover gardengarden ,, peacefulpeaceful surroundingssurroundings ,, beautifulbeautiful walkswalk .. Excellentexcellent pubspub nearbynearby .. Sendsend forfor detailsdetail ofof studystudy weekendsweekend ;; subjectssubject toto includeinclude Homeopathyhomeopathy ,, Alexanderalexander techniquetechnique paintingpainting ,, etcetc .. Toto includeinclude fullfull Englishenglish breakfastbreakfast .. Anyany 33 nightsnight (( excludingexclude Frifriday andand Satsaturday )) .. Additionaladditional nightsnight atat ££ 17.5017.50 perper nightnight .. Relaxrelax byby thethe heatedheated coveredcovered poolpool (( seasonalseasonal )) ,, visitvisit Exmoorexmoor ,, Thethe Quantocksquantocks andand Devondevon .. Coarsecoarse fishingfishing onon farmfarm .. TVtv andand teatea makingmake facilitiesfacility inin allall roomsroom .. Justjust tenten minutesminute fromfrom M5m5 .. Alsoalso cottagescottage availableavailable .. Largelarge 17th17th centurycentury farmhousefarmhouse onlyonly 1010 minsmin fromfrom M5m5 .. Idealideal centrecentre forfor walkingwalking andand visitingvisit thethe coastcoast .. Welcomewelcome teatea andand cakecake onon arrivalarrival .. Allall roomsroom havehave tea/coffeetea/coffee facilitiesfacility andand TVtv .. Groundground floorfloor ensuiteensuite bedroombedroom suitablesuitable forfor thethe disableddisabled .. Brochuresbrochure availableavailable onon requestrequest .. THEthe OLDold RECTORYrectory Thethe Oldold Rectoryrectory isbe aa lovelylovely oldold familyfamily househouse setset inin 33 acresacre ofof wellwell maintainedmaintained gardensgarden withwith largelarge well-appointedwell-appointed roomsroom offeringoffer everyevery comfortcomfort .. Lovelylovely viewsview overlookingoverlook Somersetsomerset Levelslevel towardstowards Glastonburyglastonbury .. Idealideal basebase forfor touringtouring oror relaxingrelax .. Traditionaltraditional homehome cookingcooking ;; eveningevening mealsmeal availableavailable .. THEthe ROCKrock INNinn Justjust 1414 milesmile fromfrom Tauntontaunton ,, Thethe Rockrock Inninn ,, situatedsituate onon thethe B3227b3227 (( Exexit A361a361 )) ,, offersoffer comfortablecomfortable roomsroom withwith privateprivate facilitiesfacility .. Fullfull restaurantrestaurant mealsmeal andand barbar snackssnack availableavailable .. Fullyfully centralcentral heatedheated .. Bedbed andand Breakfastbreakfast ââ fromfrom ££ 2020 perper personperson perper nightnight .. Breaksbreak availableavailable .. TWOtwo NIGHTSnight BREAKbreak THEthe JAYSjay NESTnest Thisthis smallsmall countrycountry hotelhotel nestlesnestle inin ana acreacre ofof purepure peacepeace andand tranquilitytranquility ,, surroundedsurround byby thethe uniqueunique beautybeauty ofof thethe Somersetsomerset Levelslevel .. Aa secludedsecluded andand intimateintimate hideawayhideaway providingprovide everyevery comfortcomfort forfor thethe discerningdiscerning countrylovercountry-lover ââ withwith loglog firesfire ,, cosycosy bedroomsbedroom ,, superbsuperb home-cookinghome-cooking specialisingspecialise inin freshfresh vegetablesvegetable andand wholefoodswholefood complementedcomplement byby aa well-stockedwell-stocked licensedlicensed Barbar .. Holliesholly epitomiseepitomise thethe festivefestive seasonseason Eveneven inin winterwinter ourour gardensgarden cancan bebe extremelyextremely beautifulbeautiful placesplace .. Inin aa specialspecial featurefeature ,, Grahamgraham alsoalso flicksflick throughthrough thethe seedseed cataloguecatalogue fromfrom Victorianvictorian timestime rightright throughthrough toto thethe presentpresent dayday andand comescome upup withwith somesome veryvery interestinginteresting resultsresult .. Profitsprofit fromfrom itsits salesale willwill benefitbenefit thethe Stowestowe Landscapelandscape Gardensgarden appealappeal .. Freshfresh fromfrom thethe USAusa ,, thethe Expoexpo makesmake itsits UKuk debutdebut inin Scotlandscotland fromfrom 5-75-7 Marchmarch 19931993 ,, whichwhich alsoalso happenshappen toto bebe thethe Europeaneuropean Yearyear ofof Olderold Peoplepeople .. Hothot summersummer daysday taketake theirtheir tolltoll onon mostmost gardensgarden ,, butbut Noelnoel Kingsburykingsbury discoversdiscover howhow Jennyjenny andand Michaelmichael Aldousaldous havehave successfullysuccessfully createdcreate aa gardengarden ofof vibrantvibrant colourcolour inin thethe Cotswoldscotswolds Delphiniumsdelphinium ,, shastashasta daisiesdaisy andand clematisclematis arebe cottagecottage gardengarden favouritesfavourite Conifersconifer andand heatherheather bedsbed 22 .. Gravelgravel withwith strategicallystrategically placedplace potspot 33 .. Wildwild gardengarden withwith appleapple treestree andand springspring flowersflower 55 .. Thethe lessless commoncommon Elaeagnuselaeagnus xx ebbingeiebbingei "" Giltgilt Edgeedge "" Useuse sparinglysparingly andand avoidavoid plantingplant severalseveral varietiesvariety sideside byby sideside .. Watchwatch forfor reversionreversion ,, removingremove anyany all-greenall-green growthsgrowth immediatelyimmediately .. Plantplant soft-leavedsoft-leaved speciesspecie ,, susceptiblesusceptible toto sun-scorchsun-scorch ,, inin dappleddappled shadeshade .. Avoidavoid varietiesvariety whosewhose foliagefoliage isbe misshapenmisshapen .. Examplesexample includeinclude variegatedvariegated formsform ofof Geraniumgeranium macrorrhizummacrorrhizum andand Prunusprunus lusitanicalusitanica .. Thethe foliagefoliage ofof Cornuscornus floridaflorida "" Rainbowrainbow "" turnsturn ruby-redruby-red inin autumnautumn Thethe handsomehandsome Symphytumsymphytum "" Goldsmithgoldsmith "" andand trailingtrail lobelialobelia Carefulcareful planningplanning isbe crucialcrucial tootoo .. Itit isbe possiblepossible toto useuse softersoft colourscolour inin ana arrangementarrangement butbut onlyonly ifif separatedseparate fromfrom thethe variegatedvariegated foliagefoliage byby aa strongerstrong colourcolour ,, otherwiseotherwise thethe effecteffect cancan bebe weakweak .. Thenthen therethere arebe thethe hostashosta .. Broad-leavedbroad-leaved variegatedvariegated herbaceousherbaceous plantsplant arebe moremuch variablevariable inin theirtheir desirabilitydesirability .. Cornuscornus alternifoliaalternifolia "" Variegatavariegata "" ââ brightbright foliagefoliage .. "" Ohoh wellwell ,, thatthat 'sbe easyeasy .. "" Lifelife justjust isbe n'tnot thatthat simplesimple .. Itit isbe nownow calledcall "" Silversilver Milkmaidmilkmaid "" .. Itit isbe alsoalso femalefemale ,, butbut doesdo notnot produceproduce manymany berriesberry .. "" Feroxferox Aureaaurea "" hashave gold-centredgold-centred leavesleaf .. Bothboth pulmonariapulmonaria andand daffodildaffodil flowersflower arebe overover .. Inin recentrecent yearsyear thingsthing havehave definitelydefinitely improvedimprove .. Aa heavyheavy croppercropper whichwhich ripensripen earlyearly .. "" Helleborushelleborus nigerniger willwill flowerflower forfor monthsmonth Newnew MILLENNIUMmillennium summersummer holidaysholiday 19921992 INin THEthe NEWnew EUROPEeurope Thethe holidayholiday resortsresort inin ourour programmeprogramme havehave aa widewide appealappeal .. Mostmost ofof ourour passengerspassenger travellingtravel byby carcar lastlast summersummer useduse Relyonrelyon Carcar Parkingparking servicesservice whichwhich offeroffer reasonablereasonable pricesprice (( ££ 33 perper dayday inin 19911991 )) ,, telephonetelephone numbernumber .. Shopsshop aboundabound (( leatherleather goodsgoods arebe excellentexcellent valuevalue )) ,, along with alongalong withwith tennistennis courtscourt ,, swimmingswimming poolspool ,, museumsmuseum ,, manymany restaurantsrestaurant ,, barsbar ,, coffeecoffee barsbar andand nightclubsnightclub .. Thethe afternoonafternoon willwill bebe freefree inin Berlinberlin andand departuredeparture willwill bebe inin thethe eveningevening forfor thethe nightnight journeyjourney onon thethe motorwaymotorway toto Ostendostend andand thethe ferryferry backback toto Doverdover .. Ourour reservationsreservation staffstaff willwill adviseadvise onon whenwhen thisthis optionoption isbe availableavailable .. Therethere arebe tennistennis courtscourt andand ana openopen airair swimmingswimming poolpool nearbynearby .. Supplementssupplement perper personperson perper weekweek :: Singlesingle roomroom ££ 2020 .. Oneone extraextra weekweek ââ basicbasic roomroom ££ 100100 .. Thethe Highhigh Streetstreet isbe longlong andand traffictraffic freefree ,, manymany ofof thethe shopsshop arebe inin picturesquepicturesque woodenwooden buildingsbuilding whichwhich lineline thethe streetstreet ,, makingmake thethe wholewhole scenescene reallyreally attractiveattractive .. Therethere arebe visitorsvisitor fromfrom otherother easterneastern Europeaneuropean countriescountry tootoo .. Aa raftingrafting triptrip downdown thethe Dunajecdunajec riverriver .. Anan eveningevening ofof locallocal musicmusic andand dancedance .. Thesethese pleasingpleasing establishmentsestablishment offeroffer comfortablecomfortable accommodationaccommodation withwith friendlyfriendly serviceservice .. Halfhalf boardboard isbe providedprovide eithereither inin househouse oror nearbynearby .. Thisthis willwill presentpresent nono difficultiesdifficulty duringduring youryour holidayholiday .. Onon selectedselected datesdate wewe willwill leaveleave Zakopanezakopane oneone dayday earlierearlier .. Thethe followingfollowing dayday ,, wewe traveltravel toto Berlinberlin .. Departuresdeparture fromfrom thethe UKuk arebe earlyearly morningmorning onon Fridaysfriday .. Hevizheviz alsoalso hashave aa permanentpermanent openopen marketmarket forfor inexpensiveinexpensive shoppingshopping .. Otherother drinksdrink arebe similarlysimilarly goodgood valuevalue .. Arrivalarrival backback atat Doverdover isbe inin thethe latelate afternoonafternoon onon Tuesdaytuesday .. 1010 daysday toto Hungaryhungary andand Viennavienna Thethe warmwarm lakelake atat Hevizheviz .. Allall thisthis cancan bebe enjoyedenjoy inin aa warmwarm andand sunnysunny climateclimate .. Roznovroznov ,, Moraviamoravia ,, Southernsouthern Czechoslovakiaczechoslovakia Allall hotelshotel privateprivate B/S/WCb/s/wc ££ 2525 .. Halfhalf boardboard inin Pragueprague availableavailable onon requestrequest .. Newnew MILLENNIUMmillennium HOLIDAYSholiday ANDand TRAVELtravel LTDltd THEthe TIMEStime EDUCATIONALeducational SUPPLEMENTsupplement 2929 Septemberseptember 19891989 "" Anan allall timetime bargainbargain holidayholiday "" .. Wewe werebe impressedimpressed withwith thethe triptrip .. MYTHSmyth ANDand LEGENDSlegend THEthe GREATgreat UNIVERSITYuniversity OFof STAMFORDstamford Thethe Ancientancient Universityuniversity Mythmyth INin 863863 BCbc ,, Kingking Bladudbladud ,, thethe Trojantrojan kingking ofof ancientancient Albionalbion (( oror Britainbritain )) andand thethe fatherfather ofof Kingking Learlear ,, foundedfound thethe firstfirst universityuniversity inin thethe worldworld atat Stamfordstamford .. Thethe eventevent wasbe firstfirst recordedrecord byby thethe venerablevenerable sixth-centurysixth-century wizardwizard ,, Merlinmerlin ofof Caledoniacaledonia ,, thethe "" Britishbritish Apolloapollo "" ,, andand wasbe elaboratedelaborate byby laterlate writerswriter .. Afterafter attendingattend thethe famousfamous schoolsschool inin Athensathens ,, Bladudbladud ,, whowho wasbe aa descendantdescendant ofof Aeneasaeneas ofof thethe Trojantrojan Warswar ââ returnedreturn toto Albionalbion withwith manymany wisewise andand learnedlearned teachersteacher toto establishestablish aa placeplace ofof learninglearning .. Onon thethe banksbank ofof thethe Wellandwelland theythey foundfind thethe sylvansylvan settingsetting appropriateappropriate forfor suchsuch ana illustriousillustrious academicacademic institutioninstitution .. Thethe ghostghost ofof Bladudbladud tellstell usus :: Bladudbladud isbe usuallyusually associatedassociate withwith thethe buildingbuild ofof Bathbath andand itsits spaspa bathsbath dedicateddedicate toto Minervaminerva ,, butbut moremuch importantlyimportantly Athenianathenian stylestyle templestemple andand hallshall werebe builtbuild byby thethe Wellandwelland ,, probablyprobably withwith longlong colonnadescolonnade ofof beautifulbeautiful flutedfluted Doricdoric columnscolumn carvedcarve byby Greekgreek masonsmason inin thethe locallocal limestonelimestone .. according to Accordingaccording toto Geoffreygeoffrey ofof Monmouthmonmouth ,, Bladudbladud dieddie likelike Icarusicarus ,, whenwhen hehe fellfall intointo thethe Templetemple ofof Apolloapollo atat Trinovantumtrinovantum (( Bladud'sbladud pre-Romanpre-roman Londonlondon )) whilstwhilst tryingtry toto flyfly .. Thisthis eventevent wasbe mirroredmirror inin Stamfordstamford inin 7070 B.C.b.c. whenwhen Simonsimon ,, ana Athenianathenian whowho establishedestablish aa schoolschool inin thethe towntown ,, wasbe drowneddrown inin thethe Wellandwelland whilstwhilst attemptingattempt humanhuman flightflight .. Thethe universityuniversity wasbe laterlate occupiedoccupy byby thethe Druidsdruid ,, thethe priest-magicianspriest magician ofof thethe Celticceltic racerace .. Samuelsamuel Sharpsharp inin hishis Historyhistory ofof Stamfordstamford ofof 18471847 sayssay :: "" Itit isbe mostmuch likelylikely â¦â¦ thatthat certaincertain localitieslocality â¦â¦ werebe setset apartapart byby thethe Druidsdruid forfor thethe assemblageassemblage ofof theirtheir pupilspupil andand disciplesdisciple :: andand whywhy maymay notnot Stamfordstamford bebe oneone ofof thesethese ?? "" Hehe addsadd thatthat "" Therethere isbe littlelittle doubtdoubt thatthat herehere existedexist aa towntown inin thethe timetime ofof thethe Britonsbriton "" andand aa settlementsettlement grewgrow aroundaround thethe Druidicdruidic universityuniversity whichwhich according to accordingaccording toto Peckpeck wasbe thethe ancientancient Britishbritish citycity ofof Doorebriffdoorebriff ,, meaningmean "" sharpsharp streamstream "" .. Bloreblore ,, quotingquote Butcherbutcher ,, statesstate thatthat "" thethe learninglearning ofof thethe Heathensheathen flourishedflourish therethere ,, untiluntil Luciuslucius Kingking ofof thethe Britainsbritain ,, aboutabout thethe yearyear 192192 ,, â¦â¦ explodedexplode thethe professionprofession ofof heathenheathen philosophyphilosophy "" andand convertedconvert thethe universityuniversity toto Christianitychristianity .. Laterlate ,, inin 449449 thethe universityuniversity andand towntown werebe attackedattack byby invadinginvade Pictspict andand Scotsscot ,, butbut Hengist'shengist victoryvictory overover themthem ,, andand subsequentsubsequent decisiondecision toto buildbuild thethe firstfirst Saxonsaxon towntown atat Stamfordstamford ,, ensuredensure itsits futurefuture .. Aa Britishbritish Druiddruid reproducedreproduce fromfrom Stukeley'sstukeley ,, Stonehengestonehenge ,, 17401740 .. Byby earlyearly Saxonsaxon timestime thethe universityuniversity wasbe flourishingflourish :: Inin 601601 ,, thethe monkmonk Austinaustin (( Augustineaugustine ofof Canterburycanterbury )) foundfind mixedmixed Saxonsaxon andand Britishbritish studentsstudent atat Stamfordstamford Universityuniversity engagedengage inin hereticalheretical practicepractice ,, particularlyparticularly Pelagianismpelagianism ââ aa beliefbelief whichwhich denieddeny originaloriginal sinsin andand promotedpromote freefree willwill .. Incensedincense byby thisthis heresyheresy Popepope Gregorygregory Ii suppressedsuppress thethe academyacademy inin 605605 ,, destroyingdestroy itsits ancientancient hallshall andand formerformer paganpagan templestemple untiluntil nothingnothing remainedremain ofof thethe world'sworld firstfirst universityuniversity .. Thethe Medievalmedieval Universityuniversity Legendlegend THEthe GLORYglory ofof Stamford'sstamford ancientancient universityuniversity wasbe notnot forgottenforget .. Asas thethe towntown becamebecome moremuch prosperousprosperous inin thethe twelfthtwelfth andand thirteenththirteenth centuriescentury aa newnew andand greatergreat universityuniversity wasbe builtbuild onon thethe ruinedruined foundationsfoundation ofof thethe oldold .. Stamfordstamford Universityuniversity becamebecome England'sengland thirdthird medievalmedieval academyacademy alongsidealongside Oxfordoxford andand Cambridgecambridge andand threatenedthreaten toto supersedesupersede bothboth .. Edmundedmund Spenserspenser inin Bookbook IViv ofof hishis poempoem thethe Faeriefaerie Queenequeene ,, publishedpublish inin 15961596 ,, wrotewrite :: Whichwhich wasbe thenthen adaptedadapt byby Draytondrayton :: Henryhenry Hannahanna fromfrom aa drawingdrawing byby Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley .. Followingfollow thethe dissolutiondissolution ofof aa breakawaybreakaway universityuniversity atat Northamptonnorthampton byby Edwardedward Ii inin 12641264 ,, twotwo hundredhundred Cambridgecambridge andand Oxfordoxford studentsstudent ,, convertedconvert toto Pelagianismpelagianism ,, movedmove toto Stamfordstamford ,, wherewhere therethere wasbe alreadyalready ana establishedestablished traditiontradition ofof learninglearn andand hereticalheretical practicepractice .. Henryhenry Hannahanna ,, thethe provincialprovincial ofof thethe Carmelitescarmelite ,, hadhave resurrectedresurrect thethe ancientancient universityuniversity whenwhen hehe foundedfound aa schoolschool inin St.st. George'sgeorge Squaresquare inin thethe 1250s1250 .. Peckpeck sayssay :: "" Henryhenry Hannahanna wasbe thethe beginnerbeginner ofof Academicalacademical educationeducation andand ofof thethe Universityuniversity itselfitself atat Stanfordstanford "" andand thatthat thethe Carmelitescarmelite (( Whitefriarswhitefriars )) werebe thethe "" chiefchief professorsprofessor andand tutorstutor toto thethe youthyouth ofof thisthis Universityuniversity "" .. Stukeleystukeley inin hishis diarydiary forfor 17451745 ,, howeverhowever ,, claimedclaim thatthat thethe medievalmedieval universityuniversity evolvedevolve fromfrom Allall Saints'saint Collegecollege ,, establishedestablish inin 11091109 atat Wothorpewothorpe ,, byby Joffiedjoffied ,, Abbotabbot ofof Crowlandcrowland Abbeyabbey .. Afterafter Henryhenry Hanna'shanna hallhall ,, thethe firstfirst collegescollege toto bebe establishedestablish ,, asas Peckpeck tellstell usus ,, werebe generalgeneral schoolsschool openopen toto allall ,, such as suchsuch asas Brazenosebrazenose Collegecollege byby St.st. Paul'spaul Gategate .. Thesethese collegescollege ,, thoughthough ,, soonsoon provedprove inadequateinadequate forfor thethe "" allall comerscomer whowho promiscuouslypromiscuously flockedflock fromfrom allall partspart toto thisthis Universityuniversity "" (( Peckpeck )) andand otherother friariesfriary ,, dislikingdislike thethe mixturemixture ofof laylay andand secularsecular educationeducation ,, establishedestablish theirtheir ownown schoolsschool .. Blackblack Hallhall wasbe foundedfound byby "" somesome orderorder ofof Blackblack monksmonk "" (( Peckpeck )) inin Allall Saints'saint Placeplace ,, andand thethe Blackfriarsblackfriars andand Greyfriarsgreyfriars alsoalso hadhave schoolsschool inin thethe towntown .. Asas thesethese collegescollege becamebecome overcrowdedovercrowded ,, thethe largelarge monasteriesmonastery setset upup theirtheir ownown academicacademic hallshall ,, includinginclude Sempringhamsempringham Hallhall andand Durhamdurham Hallhall inin St.st. Peter'speter Streetstreet ,, Peterboroughpeterborough Hallhall inin Allall Saints'saint Streetstreet andand Vaudeyvaudey Hallhall (( ownedown byby Vallisvallis Deidei Abbeyabbey nearnear Grimsthorpegrimsthorpe )) inin St.st. Mary'smary Streetstreet .. Eacheach monasticmonastic orderorder establishedestablish aa religiousreligious foundationfoundation inin thethe towntown resultingresult inin aa proliferationproliferation ofof churcheschurch untiluntil asas Samuelsamuel Sharpsharp sayssay :: "" Stamfordstamford â¦â¦ mustmust havehave beenbe aa kindkind ofof monasticmonastic metropolismetropolis .. "" Butcherbutcher commentscomment thatthat "" Thethe Monksmonk ,, Friersfriers ,, andand Nunsnun ofof thosethose superstitioussuperstitious Timestime likelike soso manymany Ratsrat oror Micemouse ,, whichwhich makemake choicechoice toto feedfeed ofof thethe daintiestdainty cheesecheese )) mademake choicechoice ofof thisthis Placeplace toto buildbuild herehere severalseveral Receptaclesreceptacle â¦â¦ "" pp 2020 :: illustrationillustration Aa universityuniversity ofof suchsuch importanceimportance wasbe boundbind toto attractattract thethe intellectualsintellectual ofof thethe nationnation ,, andand Peckpeck listslist aa wholewhole hosthost ofof literatiliterati whowho workedwork atat thethe universityuniversity ,, includinginclude thethe notablenotable authorsauthor Williamwilliam Wheteleywheteley ,, Williamwilliam Ludlingtonludlington andand Walterwalter dede Hestonheston .. Thethe mostmuch dramaticdramatic eventevent inin thethe university'suniversity historyhistory wasbe thethe secessionsecession inin 13331333 ofof northernnorthern studentsstudent fromfrom Oxfordoxford toto Brazenosebrazenose Collegecollege inin St.st. Paul'spaul Streetstreet .. Merlinmerlin hadhave miraculouslymiraculously prophesiedprophesy thisthis eventevent overover eighteight hundredhundred yearsyear earlierearlier :: Herehere ,, ledlead byby thethe mysteriousmysterious H.h. dede R.r. (( A.a. F.f. Leachleach laterlate claimedclaim itit wasbe ledlead byby Williamwilliam ofof Barnbybarnby ,, fellowfellow andand bursarbursar ofof Mertonmerton Collegecollege )) ,, theythey establishedestablish aa rebelrebel universityuniversity away from awayaway fromfrom theirtheir argumentativeargumentative southernsouthern counterpartscounterpart .. Apparentlyapparently Mertonmerton Collegecollege hadhave refusedrefuse toto taketake northernnorthern studentsstudent andand Oxfordoxford hadhave beenbe plungedplunge intointo chaoschaos andand riotriot .. Aa poempoem writtenwrite inin Stamfordstamford inin 13341334 andand addressedaddress toto Fitz-Ralphfitz-ralph ,, Chancellorchancellor ofof Oxfordoxford sayssay :: Theythey eveneven broughtbring withwith themthem thethe distinctivedistinctive knockerknocker whichwhich wasbe laterlate returnedreturn toto Oxfordoxford inin thethe latelate nineteenthnineteenth centurycentury .. Thethe arrivalarrival ofof thethe Oxfordoxford studentsstudent ,, thoughthough ,, wasbe toto bringbring aboutabout ana untimelyuntimely endend toto Stamford'sstamford medievalmedieval universityuniversity ,, forfor inin 13341334 Oxfordoxford persuadedpersuade Kingking Edwardedward IIIiii toto interveneintervene andand closeclose itit downdown :: Thethe sheriffsheriff ofof Lincolnlincoln wasbe sentsend toto Stamfordstamford ,, butbut hehe metmeet withwith considerableconsiderable resistanceresistance ,, andand Peckpeck ,, quotingquote Johnjohn Seldenselden ,, suggestssuggest thethe kingking himselfhimself camecome toto thethe towntown because of becausebecause ofof thethe students'student stubbornnessstubbornness .. Itit wasbe n'tnot untiluntil Julyjuly 13351335 thatthat thethe academicacademic hallshall werebe finallyfinally routedrout andand thethe studentsstudent andand mastersmaster expelledexpel .. Thusthus endedend Stamford'sstamford prestigiousprestigious universityuniversity historyhistory ,, destroyeddestroy firstfirst byby thethe vengeancevengeance ofof thethe churchchurch andand laterlate byby thethe jealousyjealousy ofof Oxfordoxford Universityuniversity .. Camdencamden statesstate thatthat somesome ofof thethe collegescollege continuedcontinue untiluntil thethe Lancastrianlancastrian sacksack ofof thethe towntown inin 14611461 ,, butbut itit wasbe no longer nono longerlonger ana importantimportant universityuniversity .. Byby thethe seventeenthseventeenth centurycentury Stamfordstamford wasbe justjust aa shadowshadow ofof itsits formerformer selfself .. Aa poempoem ofof 16671667 fromfrom Drunkendrunken Barnaby'sbarnaby Journaljournal isbe aa sadsad testimonytestimony toto aa towntown inin declinedecline :: COMMENTARYcommentary Thethe Ancientancient Universityuniversity Mythmyth Thethe storystory ofof Kingking Bladudbladud wasbe firstfirst chronicledchronicle byby Geoffreygeoffrey ofof Monmouthmonmouth (( c.c. 1100-11541100-1154 )) inin hishis Historiahistoria Regumregum Britanniaebritanniae ,, aa collectioncollection ofof mythologymythology andand historyhistory relatingrelate toto thethe earlyearly historyhistory ofof Britainbritain ,, whichwhich hehe claimedclaim hehe hadhave translatedtranslate fromfrom aa lostlost bookbook ofof Bretonbreton legendslegend .. Geoffreygeoffrey ,, howeverhowever ,, makesmake nono referencereference toto Bladudbladud establishingestablish aa universityuniversity inin Britainbritain .. Johnjohn Hardynghardyng ,, aa midmid fifteenth-centuryfifteenth-century poetpoet andand chroniclerchronicler ,, isbe thethe firstfirst toto mentionmention thethe storystory andand quotesquote asas hishis sourcesource thethe sixth-centurysixth-century Merlinmerlin ofof Caledoniacaledonia ,, moremuch commonlycommonly knownknow asas Merlinmerlin thethe Wizardwizard .. Therethere isbe nono evidenceevidence ,, thoughthough ,, forfor thethe existenceexistence ofof "" Merlinmerlin "" andand writingswritings attributedattribute toto himhim arebe spuriousspurious .. Thisthis impliesimply thatthat thethe mythmyth ofof Bladud'sbladud Universityuniversity wasbe inventedinvent byby Hardynghardyng ,, andand wasbe inspiredinspire byby thethe 13331333 secessionsecession .. Bloreblore inin 18131813 suggestedsuggest :: Thethe taletale wasbe thenthen copiedcopy byby laterlate historianshistorian andand poetspoet such as suchsuch asas Johnjohn Rossross ,, thethe latelate fifteenth-centuryfifteenth-century Warwickwarwick antiquaryantiquary ,, Johnjohn Higginshiggins (( workingwork c.c. 1570-16021570-1602 )) ,, Michaelmichael Draytondrayton (( 1563-16311563-1631 )) ,, andand locallocal historianshistorian such as suchsuch asas Richardrichard Butcherbutcher andand Francisfrancis Peckpeck .. Johnjohn Lelandleland writingwrite inin thethe mid-sixteenthmid sixteenth centurycentury callscall thethe wholewhole episodeepisode aa "" dreamdream "" .. Thethe taletale ofof Simonsimon thethe Athenianathenian appearsappear inin Samuelsamuel Sharp'ssharp Historyhistory ofof Stamfordstamford ofof 18471847 ,, wherewhere hehe sayssay hehe foundfind itit inin aa "" quaintquaint oldold black-letterblack-letter recordrecord "" .. Itit isbe probablyprobably aa conflationconflation ofof thethe Bladudbladud legendlegend withwith thatthat ofof Simonsimon Magusmagus whowho appearsappear inin thethe canonicalcanonical Actsact ofof thethe Apostlesapostle andand thethe apocryphalapocryphal Actsact ofof Peterpeter andand whowho isbe creditedcredit withwith beingbe thethe firstfirst teacherteacher ofof thethe Gnosticgnostic heresyheresy .. Whenwhen inin Romerome Simonsimon isbe saidsay toto havehave encounteredencounter St.st. Peterpeter andand inin ana attemptattempt toto gaingain convertsconvert hehe flewfly throughthrough thethe airair supportedsupport byby invisibleinvisible demonsdemon .. St.st. Peterpeter ,, seeingsee thisthis threatthreat ,, banishedbanish thethe demonsdemon andand Simonsimon fellfall toto hishis deathdeath .. Bothboth Simonsimon andand Bladudbladud havehave fatalfatal attemptsattempt atat flightflight ,, blackblack magicmagic andand heresyheresy in common inin commoncommon ,, andand itit isbe easyeasy toto seesee thatthat thethe twotwo storiesstory couldcould havehave becomebecome confusedconfused .. Thethe storystory ofof thethe suppressionsuppression ofof thethe universityuniversity byby Popepope Gregorygregory Ii isbe aa fantasyfantasy inspiredinspire byby thethe historicalhistorical lettersletter betweenbetween Augustineaugustine andand thethe Popepope asas recordedrecord inin Bede'sbede historyhistory ofof 731731 .. Therethere isbe nono mentionmention ofof Stamfordstamford inin thesethese lettersletter andand thethe taletale mustmust havehave beenbe createdcreate byby Hardynghardyng toto fitfit inin withwith hishis earlierearly mythologymythology .. Thethe Medievalmedieval Universityuniversity Legendlegend Ifif thethe storystory ofof thethe ancientancient universityuniversity maymay bebe classifiedclassify asas mythmyth ,, thethe claimclaim forfor aa medievalmedieval universityuniversity maymay bebe classifiedclassify asas legendlegend .. Thethe wordword "" universityuniversity "" impliesimply aa wholewhole bodybody ofof teachersteacher andand scholarsscholar organisedorganise underunder aa singlesingle corporatecorporate administrationadministration .. Thethe 1333-51333-5 secessionsecession fromfrom Oxfordoxford ,, firstlyfirstly toto Northamptonnorthampton andand thenthen toto Stamfordstamford ,, isbe factualfactual ,, butbut thethe groupgroup ofof teachersteacher andand studentsstudent wasbe nevernever sufficientlysufficiently largelarge oror establishedestablish toto bebe consideredconsider aa properproper universityuniversity .. Manymany studentsstudent returnedreturn toto Oxfordoxford prior to priorprior toto 13351335 ,, andand onlyonly seventeenseventeen mastersmaster ,, sixsix parishparish priestspriest andand fourteenfourteen studentsstudent werebe foundfind inin thethe lastlast inquisitioninquisition .. Hadhave itit continuedcontinue ,, howeverhowever ,, thethe rebelrebel universityuniversity couldcould havehave becomebecome aa rivalrival establishmentestablishment toto bothboth Oxfordoxford andand Cambridgecambridge .. Thisthis potentialpotential wasbe recognisedrecognise byby bothboth universitiesuniversity .. Twotwo yearsyear afterafter thethe secessionsecession ,, Robertrobert ofof Stratfordstratford ,, thethe Chancellorchancellor ofof Englandengland andand Oxfordoxford ,, wrotewrite toto Cambridgecambridge Universityuniversity withwith thethe soberingsobering thoughtthought thatthat andand untiluntil 18541854 ,, Oxfordoxford mademake studentsstudent swearswear ana oathoath .. Theythey eveneven tooktake thethe Brazenosebrazenose gategate knockerknocker toto Oxfordoxford inin 189O189o underunder thethe impressionimpression thatthat itit hadhave originallyoriginally comecome fromfrom Oxfordoxford .. Howeverhowever ,, therethere isbe nono provenproven evidenceevidence thatthat thethe rebelrebel studentsstudent everever useduse thethe Brazenosebrazenose sitesite .. Brasenosebrasenose Hallhall atat Oxfordoxford wasbe inin existenceexistence byby thethe mid-thirteenthmid thirteenth centurycentury andand probablyprobably derivesderive itsits namename fromfrom "" brazenbrazen nosenose "" .. Brazenosebrazenose knockerknocker reproducedreproduce fromfrom Drakard'sdrakard Historyhistory ofof Stamfordstamford ,, 18221822 .. Thethe earlierearly secessionsecession ofof Cambridgecambridge andand Oxfordoxford studentsstudent inin 12641264 isbe mentionedmention onlyonly byby thethe historianhistorian Richardrichard Whitewhite (( 1539-16111539-1611 )) andand wasbe copiedcopy byby Anthonyanthony Woodwood ,, aa latelate seventeenth-centuryseventeenth century Oxfordoxford writerwriter .. Itit isbe probablyprobably justjust ana elaborationelaboration ofof thethe historicalhistorical secessionsecession ofof Cambridgecambridge studentsstudent toto Northamptonnorthampton inin 12611261 .. Thethe Pelagianpelagian connectionconnection appearsappear toto bebe justjust aa confusionconfusion withwith thethe earlierearly mythmyth .. Thethe arrivalarrival ofof thethe Oxfordoxford studentsstudent ,, thoughthough ,, impliesimply thatthat therethere wasbe aa earlierearly traditiontradition ofof learninglearning inin thethe towntown ,, butbut thisthis wasbe by no means byby nono meansmeans asas significantsignificant asas somesome writerswriter havehave suggestedsuggest .. Therethere isbe onlyonly oneone adequatelyadequately documentarydocumentary monasticmonastic schoolschool ,, whichwhich wasbe foundedfound byby thethe Lincolnshirelincolnshire priorypriory ofof Sempringhamsempringham inin c.c, 13011301 .. Robertrobert Luterellluterell ,, youngeryoung brotherbrother ofof Sirsir Geoffreygeoffrey Luterellluterell ,, whowho commissionedcommission thethe famousfamous Luterellluterell Psalterpsalter ,, gavegive hishis househouse calledcall "" thethe Gannocgannoc "" onon St.st. Peter'speter Streetstreet forfor useuse asas aa schoolschool ,, andand itit hadhave itsits ownown chapelchapel ofof St.st. Marymary .. Aboutabout halfhalf aa dozendozen Gilbertinegilbertine novicesnovice livedlive therethere ,, studyingstudy theologytheology andand philosophyphilosophy ,, andand thethe schoolschool wasbe possiblypossibly attendedattend byby otherother towntown studentsstudent (( Durhamdurham Hallhall atat Oxfordoxford ,, establishedestablish inin 12861286 ,, wasbe aa similarsimilar ,, thoughthough largerlarge ,, institutioninstitution ,, housinghouse sixteensixteen studentsstudent )) .. Thethe existenceexistence ofof thisthis schoolschool suggestssuggest thatthat therethere couldcould havehave beenbe otherother hallshall inin thethe towntown ,, butbut therethere isbe nono definitedefinite evidenceevidence .. Itit isbe knownknow thatthat St.st. Leonard'sleonard Priorypriory hadhave somesome academicacademic functionfunction ,, forfor inin thethe fourteenthfourteenth centurycentury itit wasbe partlypartly useduse asas aa studystudy centrecentre forfor youngyoung monksmonk ,, possiblypossibly preparingprepare themthem forfor theirtheir degreedegree coursescourse atat Oxfordoxford .. Alanalan Piperpiper suggestssuggest thatthat St.st. Leonard'sleonard wasbe quitequite aa prestigiousprestigious academicacademic institutioninstitution ,, runrun byby mastersmaster ofof "" highhigh calibrecalibre in terms of inin termsterms ofof administrativeadministrative experienceexperience andand intellectualintellectual trainingtraining "" .. Thisthis teachingteaching functionfunction ,, thoughthough ,, declineddecline sharplysharply afterafter 13801380 withwith thethe establishmentestablishment ofof Durhamdurham Collegecollege atat Oxfordoxford .. Whitefriar'swhitefriar gategate fromfrom aa drawingdrawing byby Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley ,, 17351735 .. Therethere isbe nono properproper medievalmedieval evidenceevidence forfor anyany ofof thethe otherother hallshall ,, butbut theythey werebe aa commoncommon traditiontradition byby thethe sixteenthsixteenth centurycentury .. Lelandleland statesstate "" aa greatgreat voicevoice rennithrennith thatthat sometymesometime readingesreading ofof liberalleliberalle sciencesscience werebe atat Staunfordstaunford "" ,, butbut Brazenosebrazenose isbe thethe onlyonly otherother authenticatedauthenticated medievalmedieval buildingbuilding ,, andand itit hashave nono academicacademic recordrecord .. Stukeley'sstukeley claimclaim forfor Allall Saints'saint Collegecollege atat Wothorpewothorpe isbe basedbase onon Speed'sspeed earlyearly seventeenth-centuryseventeenth-century mapmap ,, andand isbe justjust aa misreadingmisreading ofof ana entryentry inin Valorvalor Ecclesiasticusecclesiasticus ,, Henryhenry VIII'sviii surveysurvey ofof thethe valuevalue ofof ecclesiasticalecclesiastical propertyproperty .. Thisthis merelymerely mentionsmention thatthat Browne'sbrowne Hospitalhospital heldhold propertyproperty atat Wothorpewothorpe .. Althoughalthough thethe Ordersorder ofof Friarsfriar werebe influentialinfluential inin universityuniversity lifelife inin Oxfordoxford therethere isbe nono proofproof forfor theirtheir academicacademic activitiesactivity herehere .. Thethe significancesignificance ofof thethe Carmelitecarmelite schoolschool hashave beenbe greatlygreatly exaggeratedexaggerate because of becausebecause ofof thethe widespreadwidespread misunderstandingmisunderstanding thatthat thethe Carmelitecarmelite Whitefriarywhitefriary stoodstand onon thethe sitesite ofof thethe hospitalhospital ,, ana importantimportant monasticmonastic sitesite withwith aa splendidsplendid fourteenth-centuryfourteenth-century gategate .. Thisthis wasbe actuallyactually thethe Franciscanfranciscan Greyfriarygreyfriary andand thethe Whitefriarywhitefriary stoodstand justjust toto thethe south-westsouth-west betweenbetween St.st. Paul'spaul Streetstreet andand Priorypriory Roadroad â- aa muchmuch lesslittle romanticromantic sitesite .. Allall wewe knowknow ofof Henryhenry Hannahanna comescome fromfrom Lelandleland ,, andand hehe nevernever mentionsmention Hannahanna teachingteaching anywhereanywhere oror acquiringacquire anyany eminenceeminence ,, andand therethere isbe nono medievalmedieval evidenceevidence forfor hishis schoolschool .. Williamwilliam Ludlingtonludlington inin factfact taughtteach atat Oxfordoxford ,, notnot Stamfordstamford ,, andand Williamwilliam Wheteleywheteley wasbe mastermaster ofof Lincolnlincoln Grammargrammar Schoolschool .. as for Asas forfor thethe traditiontradition ofof monasticmonastic hallshall ,, Lelandleland impliesimply thatthat thethe namesname ofof manymany ofof thethe buildingsbuilding (( e.g.e.g. Peterboroughpeterborough Hallhall )) merelymerely reflectedreflect thethe ownershipownership ofof thethe propertyproperty :: Despitedespite thisthis ,, laterlater writerswriter supposedsuppose manymany buildingsbuilding toto bebe academicacademic hallshall .. Thisthis traditiontradition beganbegin withwith Brianbrian Twyne'stwyne visitvisit toto Stamfordstamford inin 16171617 ,, wasbe elaboratedelaborate byby Anthonyanthony Woodwood inin 16741674 ,, andand byby Peckpeck andand Stukeleystukeley inin thethe eighteentheighteenth centurycentury .. Onon Stukeley'sstukeley arrivalarrival atat Stamfordstamford inin 17291729 Peckpeck wrotewrite toto himhim callingcall himhim "" Presidentpresident ofof Blackblack Hallhall ,, Peterboroughpeterborough Hallhall ,, Sempringhamsempringham Hallhall ,, Durhamdurham Hallhall andand Vaudeyvaudey Hallhall "" .. Anyany largelarge medievalmedieval buildingbuilding becamebecome susceptiblesusceptible toto classificationclassification ,, andand Peckpeck claimedclaim thatthat innsinn ,, such as suchsuch asas thethe Windmillwindmill ,, formerlyformerly atat no.nummero 5151 Highhigh Streetstreet ,, werebe useduse asas hallshall .. Bloreblore sayssay :: even if Eveneven ifif therethere werebe monasticmonastic oror friary-ownedfriary-owned schoolsschool inin thethe towntown theythey wouldwould stillstill notnot constituteconstitute aa universityuniversity ,, asas eacheach schoolschool wouldwould bebe administeredadminister separatelyseparately andand wouldwould bebe dominateddominate byby thethe beliefsbelief ofof thethe monasticmonastic orderorder .. Samuelsamuel Sharp'ssharp visionvision ofof aa "" monasticmonastic metropolismetropolis "" isbe ana exaggeratedexaggerated fantasyfantasy andand thethe reasonreason forfor thethe largelarge numbernumber ofof churcheschurch inin thethe towntown wasbe notnot monasticmonastic butbut thethe resultresult ofof earlyearly self-governmentself-government andand thethe absenceabsence ofof anyany singlesingle overlordoverlord other than otherother thanthan thethe kingking .. Anyany academicacademic learninglearning atat Stamfordstamford ,, thereforetherefore ,, mustmust havehave beenbe ofof limitedlimited scopescope andand onlyonly thethe rebelrebel studentsstudent andand mastersmaster betweenbetween 13331333 andand 13351335 everever issuedissue degreesdegree .. Smallsmall monasticmonastic schoolsschool ,, aa teachingteaching capacitycapacity atat St.st. Leonard'sleonard Priorypriory andand thethe temporarytemporary residenceresidence ofof thethe Oxfordoxford studentsstudent cancan notnot constituteconstitute aa universityuniversity underunder aa corporatecorporate bodybody .. Deeddeed inin hishis Historyhistory ofof Stamfordstamford Schoolschool sayssay thatthat "" althoughalthough therethere werebe hallshall andand placesplace ofof learninglearning inin Stamfordstamford therethere isbe nono evidenceevidence thatthat therethere wasbe anyany universityuniversity organisationorganisation "" .. Stamford'sstamford mainmain rolerole wasbe probablyprobably asas aa "" crammingcramming "" centrecentre preparingprepare novicesnovice forfor Oxfordoxford .. Itit wasbe thethe potentialpotential ,, thoughthough ,, ofof thethe 13331333 secessionsecession thatthat capturedcapture thethe imaginationimagination ofof historianshistorian .. Itit spawnedspawn thethe Bladudbladud taletale ,, itit mademake Francisfrancis Peckpeck subtitlesubtitle hishis Antiquarianantiquarian Annalsannals ofof Stanfordstanford ofof 17271727 Academiaacademia Terciatercia Anglicanaanglicana ,, oror "" Thethe Thirdthird Englishenglish Universityuniversity "" ,, andand itit fuelledfuel thethe fertilefertile mindsmind ofof Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley andand laterlate Victorianvictorian romanticsromantic .. Finallyfinally ,, Stamfordstamford putput itselfitself forwardforward inin thethe 1960s1960 asas oneone ofof thethe sitessite forfor thethe newnew generationgeneration ofof universitiesuniversity ,, citingcite thethe town'stown "" universityuniversity historyhistory "" in support of inin supportsupport ofof itsits casecase .. Thethe ideaidea hadhave beenbe putput forwardforward asas earlyearly asas thethe endend ofof thethe Secondsecond Worldworld Warwar ,, whenwhen E.e. M.m. W.w. Tillyardtillyard hadhave advocatedadvocate aa newnew reliefrelief universityuniversity forfor Oxfordoxford andand Cambridgecambridge atat Stamfordstamford .. Followingfollow thethe foundationfoundation ofof newnew universitiesuniversity atat suchsuch placesplace asas Yorkyork andand Lancasterlancaster ,, hopeshope forfor aa universityuniversity atat Stamfordstamford ranrun highhigh .. Aa twotwo hundredhundred acreacre sitesite alongalong Tinwelltinwell Roadroad wasbe suggestedsuggest withwith plotsplot ofof landland inin thethe centrecentre ofof thethe towntown reservedreserve forfor hallshall ofof residenceresidence . Butbut inin 19651965 ,, itit wasbe announcedannounce thatthat nono newnew universityuniversity wouldwould bebe builtbuild forfor tenten yearsyear andand thatthat prioritypriority wouldwould gogo toto thethe expansionexpansion ofof existingexisting universitiesuniversity .. Thisthis ,, andand thethe growthgrowth ofof studentstudent unrestunrest ,, finallyfinally killedkill offoff allall hopeshope ofof establishingestablish aa universityuniversity inin thethe towntown .. QUEENqueen BOADICEAboadicea &and THEthe ROMANroman TOWNtown ATat STAMFORDstamford WHENwhen THEthe Romansroman builtbuild Ermineermine Streetstreet ,, theirtheir greatgreat roadroad fromfrom thethe southsouth coastcoast toto thethe Humberhumber ,, theythey deliberatelydeliberately alignedalign itit closeclose toto thethe ancientancient universityuniversity towntown ofof Stamfordstamford ,, thenthen calledcall Doorebriffdoorebriff . Atat thisthis strategicstrategic riverriver crossingcrossing theythey establishedestablish aa towntown calledcall Durobrivaedurobrivae ,, fromfrom whichwhich thethe Saxonsaxon wordword "" Wellandwelland "" laterlate derivedderive ,, meaningmean "" ragingraging ,, boilingboil ,, bubblingbubble .. Thethe sitesite ofof thisthis settlementsettlement wasbe inin Bredcroftbredcroft oror "" Bradcroftbradcroft "" meadowmeadow ,, andand inin thethe nineteenthnineteenth centurycentury therethere wasbe stillstill evidenceevidence ofof itsits existenceexistence .. Samuelsamuel Sharpsharp writingwriting inin 18471847 sayssay :: "" Therethere isbe evidenceevidence â¦â¦ ofof itsits havinghave beenbe aa Romanroman settlementsettlement inin thethe timetime ofof Agricolaagricola ,, andand thatthat hishis legionslegion establishedestablish herehere aa permanentpermanent encampmentencampment ,, thethe remainsremain ofof whichwhich arebe clearlyclearly traceabletraceable eveneven toto thethe presentpresent dayday .. "" Therethere wasbe alsoalso aa smallersmall walledwalled towntown twotwo milesmile toto thethe northnorth calledcall Gausennaegausennae atat whatwhat isbe nownow Greatgreat Castertoncasterton ,, whichwhich actedact asas ana extraextra garrisongarrison .. Inin A.D.a.d. 6161 thethe settlementsettlement wasbe brutallybrutally destroyeddestroy byby thethe illustriousillustrious Queenqueen Boadiceaboadicea ,, leaderleader ofof thethe Iceniiceni tribetribe ofof thethe Norfolknorfolk areaarea .. Sheshe hadhave defeateddefeat thethe Romanroman IXix Legionlegion atat aa bloodybloody battlebattle inin thethe Godmanchestergodmanchester areaarea (( Cambridgeshirecambridgeshire )) andand pursuedpursue thethe survivorssurvivor alongalong Ermineermine Streetstreet toto theirtheir basebase atat Lincolnlincoln .. Boadiceaboadicea ,, onon herher shiningshining chariotchariot withwith scythesscythe onon thethe wheelswheel ,, razedraze allall thethe Romanroman settlementssettlement inin herher pathpath ,, andand soso Durobrivaedurobrivae wasbe obliteratedobliterate .. Therethere isbe aa monumentmonument inin Bredcroftbredcroft meadowmeadow inin memorymemory ofof thisthis remarkableremarkable eventevent inin Stamford'sstamford historyhistory .. pp 3030 :: illustrationillustration Thethe sitingsiting ofof thethe Romanroman Ermineermine Streetstreet justjust toto thethe westwest ofof Stamfordstamford promptedprompt Francisfrancis Peckpeck inin 17271727 toto suggestsuggest thatthat Stamfordstamford wasbe formerlyformerly thethe importantimportant Romanroman towntown ofof Durobrivaedurobrivae ,, originallyoriginally calledcall Doorebriffdoorebriff . Hehe supportedsupport thethe claimclaim withwith somesome incoherentincoherent etymologyetymology thatthat relatedrelate thethe namename toto thethe Saxonsaxon wordword "" Wellandwelland "" ,, irrespective of irrespectiveirrespective ofof thethe factfact thatthat thethe gentlegentle Wellandwelland doesdo notnot ragerage oror boilboil (( according to accordingaccording toto Ekwall'sekwall Englishenglish Riverriver Namesname ,, Wellandwelland meansmean "" goodgood streamstream "" )) .. Durobrivaedurobrivae actuallyactually meansmean "" bridge-fortbridge-fort "" andand wasbe situatedsituate tenten milesmile south-eastsouth-east ofof Stamfordstamford onon thethe Riverriver Nenenene atat Waterwater Newtonnewton .. Itit appearsappear thethe Romansroman hadhave nono defensivedefensive positionposition onon thethe Wellandwelland andand thethe earliestearly settlementsettlement inin thethe areaarea wasbe thethe Romanroman campcamp onon thethe Riverriver Gwashgwash atat whatwhat isbe nownow Greatgreat Castertoncasterton .. Aa deepdeep defensivedefensive ditchditch stillstill survivessurvive therethere ,, butbut itit wasbe onlyonly aa smallsmall settlementsettlement andand Camden'scamden "" towntown "" ofof Gausennaegausennae isbe probablyprobably Causenniscausennis whichwhich stoodstand furtherfar toto thethe northnorth onon thethe Riverriver Withamwitham .. Onlyonly smallsmall Romanroman fragmentsfragment havehave beenbe foundfind inin Stamfordstamford ââ . Sharp'ssharp "" clearlyclearly traceabletraceable "" Romanroman campcamp whichwhich apparentlyapparently stoodstand oneone furlongfurlong north-westnorth-west ofof thethe towntown isbe untraceableuntraceable ââ butbut therethere isbe thethe sitesite ofof aa villavilla justjust toto thethe westwest ofof thethe towntown .. Itit hashave beenbe suggestedsuggest thatthat thethe Bredcroftbredcroft sitesite mightmight havehave beenbe aa smallsmall sub-Romansub-roman settlementsettlement inin thethe periodperiod betweenbetween thethe declinedecline ofof Greatgreat Castertoncasterton andand thethe growthgrowth ofof Stamfordstamford .. Popularpopular etymologyetymology hashave claimedclaim thatthat "" Bredcroftbredcroft "" wasbe thethe placeplace wherewhere thethe town'stown medievalmedieval bakersbaker keptkeep theirtheir ovensoven andand Burtonburton claimsclaim therethere wasbe aa courtcourt househouse therethere ,, butbut therethere isbe nono evidenceevidence .. Thethe landland wasbe ownedown byby Queenqueen Edithedith andand wasbe situatedsituate inin Rutlandrutland outsideoutside thethe Boroughborough ofof Stamfordstamford .. Thethe Boudiccaboudicca taletale isbe basedbase onon aa statementstatement byby thethe contemporarycontemporary Romanroman historianhistorian ,, Tacitustacitus ,, thatthat afterafter hishis defeatdefeat ,, Petiliuspetilius Cerialiscerialis ,, thethe commandercommander ofof thethe IXix Legionlegion ,, escapedescape withwith hishis cavalrycavalry "" andand foundfind sheltershelter behindbehind thethe defencesdefence ofof [[ theirtheir ]] campcamp "" .. Thisthis doesdo notnot necessarilynecessarily implyimply aa chasechase andand nono evidenceevidence ofof ana attackattack wasbe foundfind whenwhen thethe Romanroman towntown atat Castertoncasterton wasbe excavatedexcavate inin thethe 1950s1950 .. Thethe wholewhole connectionconnection isbe soso slightslight thatthat thethe legendlegend onlyonly appearsappear inin tourist-orientatedtourist-orientated guideguide booksbook ofof thethe twentiethtwentieth centurycentury .. Itit wasbe givengive enoughenough credencecredence inin thethe 1960s1960 ,, thoughthough forfor aa monumentmonument toto bebe erectederect byby thethe Romanroman fordford inin Bredcroftbredcroft meadowmeadow recordingrecord herher chasechase .. Professorprofessor W.w. F.f. Grimesgrimes inin hishis essayessay "" Thethe Archaeologyarchaeology ofof thethe Stamfordstamford Regionregion "" inin Thethe Makingmaking ofof Stamfordstamford suggestssuggest thatthat "" thethe inscriptioninscription onon thethe recentlyrecently erectederect pillarpillar thatthat marksmark thethe Romanroman crossingcrossing onon thethe Wellandwelland oughtought toto bebe replacedreplace byby oneone whichwhich doesdo lessless violenceviolence toto thethe factsfact asas theythey appearappear toto bebe .. "" Hengist'shengist towntown basedbase onon aa drawingdrawing mademake byby Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley inin Designsdesign ,, 17361736 .. THEthe BATTLEbattle OFof STAMFORDstamford &and HENGIST'Shengist TOWNtown INin THEthe earlyearly fifthfifth centurycentury ,, Englandengland wasbe underunder attackattack fromfrom invadinginvading tribestribe ofof Pictspict andand Scotsscots .. Theythey hadhave laidlay wastewaste thethe entireentire northnorth ofof thethe countrycountry andand inin 449449 theythey arrivedarrive atat thethe universityuniversity towntown ofof Stamfordstamford .. Inin aa lastlast attemptattempt toto crushcrush thethe invasioninvasion ,, Vortigernvortigern ,, thethe Britishbritish kingking ,, enlistedenlist thethe helphelp ofof thethe Saxonsaxon armyarmy underunder thethe renownedrenownd generalgeneral ,, Hengisthengist .. Butbut byby invitinginvite thethe Saxonssaxon intointo thethe countrycountry hehe plantedplant thethe seedseed forfor aa newnew invasioninvasion uponupon hishis soilsoil .. Hengist'shengist armyarmy metmeet thethe Scotsscots atat Stamfordstamford ,, whichwhich wasbe nownow inin aa ruinousruinous statestate ;; Thethe Saxonsaxon forcesforce scoredscore aa significantsignificant victoryvictory andand inin returnreturn Vortigernvortigern gavegive Hengisthengist landland inin Stamfordstamford toto buildbuild thethe firstfirst Saxonsaxon towntown inin Britainbritain .. Camdencamden addsadd :: Hengisthengist chosechoose aa sitesite justjust toto thethe westwest ofof thethe existingexisting settlementsettlement onon ana elevatedelevated positionposition andand constructedconstruct aa Roman-styleroman-style towntown basedbase onon knowledgeknowledge gainedgain whilstwhilst servingserve inin thethe Romanroman armyarmy .. Thethe structuredstructured gridgrid layoutlayout ofof thisthis towntown cancan stillstill bebe tracedtrace todaytoday inin thethe St.st. Peter'speter areaarea ofof Stamfordstamford .. St.st. Peter'speter Streetstreet wasbe formerlyformerly thethe axialaxial Viavia Praetoriapraetoria withwith thethe forumforum ,, oror marketmarket placeplace ,, onon thethe sitesite ofof St.st. Peter'speter Churchchurch .. Thethe castlecastle stoodstand toto thethe south-eastsouth-east byby thethe riverriver andand thethe wholewhole towntown wasbe heavilyheavily fortifiedfortify ,, survivingsurvive untiluntil thethe Danishdanish attacksattack inin thethe ninthninth centurycentury .. Afterafter completingcomplete thethe magnificentmagnificent castlecastle ,, Hengisthengist beganbegin plottingplot hishis masterymastery ofof thethe kingdomkingdom .. Stukeleystukeley inin hishis diarydiary tellstell usus howhow hehe invitedinvite Kingking Vortigernvortigern toto bebe entertainedentertain therethere andand onon thethe king'sking arrivalarrival hehe introducedintroduce himhim toto Rowenarowena ,, hishis beautifulbeautiful daughterdaughter ,, whowho presentedpresent Vortigernvortigern withwith aa goldgold wassailwassail cupcup .. Vortigernvortigern wasbe soso takentake byby herher charmscharm thatthat hehe tooktake herher forfor hishis wifewife .. Inin returnreturn hehe gavegive Hengisthengist landland inin Kentkent wherewhere Hengist'shengist descendantsdescendant ruledrule untiluntil thethe latelate eightheighth centurycentury (( thethe "" Oescingaoescinga "" dynastydynasty )) .. Anglo-Saxonanglo-saxon battlebattle basedbase onon drawingdraw inin thethe Canterburycanterbury Hexateuchhexateuch .. Thethe storystory ofof Hengisthengist inin Stamfordstamford isbe aa locallocal legendlegend basedbase onon aa referencereference toto aa battlebattle atat Stamfordstamford inin Henryhenry ofof Huntingdon'shuntingdon (( 10841084 -- 11551155 )) Historiahistoria Anglorumanglorum .. Thisthis impliesimply aa locallocal traditiontradition alreadyalready currentcurrent inin thethe twelfthtwelfth centurycentury andand mightmight bebe basedbase onon aa lostlost sourcesource .. Gildasgildas writingwriting inin thethe mid-sixthmid-sixth centurycentury givesgive nono detaildetail ofof thethe battlebattle andand Bedebede inin 731731 mentionsmention Vortigernvortigern andand Hengisthengist butbut doesdo notnot specifyspecify anyany locationlocation .. Geoffreygeoffrey ofof Monmouthmonmouth beganbegin thethe Hengisthengist inin Lincolnshirelincolnshire legendlegend byby statingstate thatthat Hengisthengist wasbe grantedgrant landland inin Lindseylindsey ,, inin Lincolnshirelincolnshire ,, wherewhere hehe builtbuild aa fortressfortress calledcall Thranceastrethranceastre whichwhich wasbe laterlate associatedassociate withwith Castorcastor .. Bedebede merelymerely statesstate thatthat Hengisthengist wasbe grantedgrant aa settlementsettlement inin thethe easteast ofof thethe countrycountry whichwhich wasbe probablyprobably inin Kentkent wherewhere Hengisthengist foundedfound aa royalroyal dynastydynasty .. Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley furtherfar elaboratedelaborate thethe legendlegend inin thethe eighteentheighteenth centurycentury whenwhen hehe proposedpropose thatthat thethe St.st. Peter'speter areaarea ofof Stamfordstamford wasbe thethe sitesite ofof Hengist'shengist towntown ,, despitedespite thethe factfact thatthat Stamfordstamford hashave nevernever beenbe inin Lindseylindsey .. Thisthis showsshow Stukeley'sstukeley keenkeen topographicaltopographical eyeeye andand fancifulfanciful imaginationimagination ,, butbut whilstwhilst thethe St.st. Peter'speter areaarea isbe oneone ofof thethe oldestold placesplace ofof settlementsettlement andand hashave aa regularisedregularise streetstreet patternpattern ,, likelike thethe restrest ofof thethe towntown itit doesdo notnot predatepredate thethe ninthninth centurycentury .. Thethe accountaccount ofof Vortigern'svortigern marriagemarriage toto Hengist'shengist daughterdaughter isbe firstfirst mentionedmention inin thethe earlyearly ninthninth centurycentury Historiahistoria Brittonumbrittonum ,, formerlyformerly attributedattribute toto Nenniusnennius (( wherewhere howeverhowever Rowenarowena isbe notnot namedname )) .. Itit wasbe filledfill outout andand popularisedpopularise byby Geoffreygeoffrey ofof Monmouthmonmouth andand wasbe simplysimply incorporatedincorporate intointo thethe Stamfordstamford legendlegend byby Stukeleystukeley .. pp 3636 :: illustrationillustration STAMFORDstamford ASas THEthe SEATseat OFof THEthe MERCIANmercian GOVERNMENTgovernment &and thethe Foundationfoundation ofof St.st. Leonard'sleonard Priorypriory THEthe IMPORTANCEimportance ofof Hengist'shengist Saxonsaxon towntown andand thethe ancientancient universityuniversity mademake Stamfordstamford thethe idealideal locationlocation forfor thethe sitingsiting ofof thethe Mercianmercian courtcourt andand governmentgovernment .. Thethe towntown wasbe notnot liableliable toto attackattack owing to owingowing toto itsits geographicalgeographical positionposition andand extensiveextensive fortificationsfortification andand itit wasbe situatedsituate nearnear thethe Fensfens fromfrom whichwhich thethe wordword "" Merciamercia "" originatedoriginate .. Stamfordstamford becamebecome thethe capitalcapital ofof aa hugehuge kingdomkingdom extendingextend rightright acrossacross centralcentral Englandengland (( itit isbe stillstill referredrefer toto asas thethe capitalcapital ofof thethe Fensfens )) andand Kingking Pendapenda (( c.circa 577577 -- 655655 )) ,, thethe lastlast paganpagan Kingking ofof Merciamercia ,, hadhave hishis palacepalace herehere .. Inin 658658 Kingking Alchfrithalchfrith ofof Northumbrianorthumbria heldhold hishis courtcourt atat Stamfordstamford andand hehe grantedgrant St.st. Wilfridwilfrid ,, laterlate bishopbishop ofof Yorkyork ,, landland toto foundfound aa monasterymonastery inin thethe towntown .. Byby thethe Wellandwelland St.st. Wilfridwilfrid builtbuild St.st. Leonard'sleonard Priorypriory ,, aa masterpiecemasterpiece ofof Anglo-Saxonanglo-saxon architecturearchitecture ,, befittingbefit itsits statusstatus asas thethe firstfirst religiousreligious househouse inin allall Merciamercia .. Samuelsamuel Sharpsharp ,, tellstell usus thatthat onon Wilfrid'swilfrid deathdeath thethe monksmonk ofof thethe priorypriory helpedhelp toto carrycarry hishis bodybody fromfrom Oundleoundle inin Northamptonshirenorthamptonshire toto Riponripon Abbeyabbey ,, wherewhere hehe wasbe buriedbury .. Thisthis beautifulbeautiful priorypriory ofof St.st. Leonard'sleonard ,, originallyoriginally belongingbelong toto thethe Holyholy Isleisle ofof Lindisfarnelindisfarne ,, wasbe laterlate destroyeddestroy byby maraudingmarauding Danesdane andand wasbe onlyonly rebuiltrebuild inin 10821082 withwith thethe co-operationco-operation ofof Williamwilliam thethe Conquerorconqueror .. according to Accordingaccording toto Arthurarthur Meemee ,, thethe newnew priorypriory wasbe designeddesign byby Williamwilliam Carileffcarileff ,, thethe greatgreat Normannorman architectarchitect ofof Durhamdurham Cathedralcathedral .. Kingking Alchfrithalchfrith alsoalso builtbuild St.st. Peter'speter churchchurch whichwhich wasbe thethe firstfirst churchchurch inin Stamfordstamford andand allall Merciamercia .. Itit wasbe builtbuild onon thethe sitesite ofof thethe forumforum ofof Hengist'shengist Roman-styleroman-style towntown in front of inin frontfront ofof thethe greatgreat castlecastle .. Writingwriting inin hishis diarydiary ,, Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley takestake hishis friendfriend "" Panagiuspanagius "" toto seesee aa supposedsupposed doorwaydoorway ofof itit .. Panagiuspanagius modestlymodestly declaresdeclare :: Thethe wholewhole legendlegend startsstart fromfrom aa misinterpretationmisinterpretation byby Johnjohn Wessingtonwessington ,, Priorprior ofof Durhamdurham (( 1416-461416-46 )) ,, ofof Bede'sbede eighth-centuryeighth-century accountaccount ofof Kingking Alchfrithalchfrith grantinggrant Wilfridwilfrid landland inin "" Stanfordstanford "" andand aa monasterymonastery inin Riponripon .. Althoughalthough Wilfridwilfrid diddo evangeliseevangelise Merciamercia andand foundedfound aa sitesite atat Oundleoundle inin Northamptonshirenorthamptonshire ,, itit isbe probableprobable thethe referencereference isbe toto anotheranother Stamfordstamford ,, asas thethe namename wasbe notnot uncommonuncommon andand Alchfrithalchfrith isbe unlikelyunlikely toto havehave ownedown anyany landland inin thisthis areaarea .. Therethere isbe nono mentionmention ofof aa monasterymonastery andand itit isbe likelylikely thethe Riponripon referencereference hashave beenbe confusedconfused withwith thethe "" Stanfordstanford "" entryentry .. Thethe 10821082 connectionconnection isbe alsoalso spuriousspurious andand thethe firstfirst mentionmention ofof thethe Priorypriory isbe inin 11461146 ,, implyingimply itit wasbe foundedfound byby Durhamdurham atat thethe beginningbeginning ofof thethe twelfthtwelfth centurycentury .. Thethe survivingsurviving structurestructure alsoalso datesdate fromfrom thatthat timetime .. Thethe ideaidea thatthat Stamfordstamford wasbe thethe centrecentre ofof Mercianmercian governmentgovernment wasbe inventedinvent byby Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley inin thethe 1730s1730 fromfrom hishis beliefbelief thatthat Alchfrithalchfrith hadhave heldhold hishis courtcourt herehere andand thatthat itit hadhave formerlyformerly beenbe Hengist'shengist towntown .. Thethe conceptconcept ofof aa centrecentre ofof governmentgovernment inin earlyearly Anglo-Saxonanglo-saxon Englandengland ,, thoughthough ,, isbe nonsensenonsense asas thethe kingking wouldwould traveltravel aroundaround hishis kingdomkingdom ,, andand wherewhere thethe kingking wasbe ,, thethe governmentgovernment wasbe .. Thethe termterm "" Merciamercia "" actuallyactually derivesderive fromfrom "" Merciansmercian "" ,, meaningmean "" Border-folkborder-folk "" .. as for Asas forfor St.st. Peter'speter churchchurch ,, itit wasbe probablyprobably thethe "" mothermother churchchurch "" ofof Stamfordstamford ,, andand isbe mentionedmention inin Domesdaydomesday .. Itit couldcould datedate backback asas farfar asas thethe middlemiddle ofof thethe ninthninth centurycentury andand wasbe closelyclosely associatedassociate withwith thethe laterlate castlecastle .. Itit closedclose inin thethe mid-sixteenthmid-sixteenth centurycentury .. ROGERroger BACONbacon ANDand THEthe BRAZENOSEbrazenose HEADhead Milesmiles keptkeep vigilvigil byby thethe doordoor butbut beganbegin toto growgrow tiredtired .. Reproducedreproduce fromfrom Francisfrancis Peck'speck Annalsannals ,, 17271727 .. Decorationdecoration fromfrom Francisfrancis Peck'speck Annalsannals ,, 17271727 .. St.st. Thomas'thomas doordoor fromfrom aa drawingdrawing byby Williamwilliam Stukeleystukeley ,, 17351735 .. Thisthis viewview wasbe thenthen copiedcopy byby laterlate writerswriter .. THEthe LANCASTRIANlancastrian SACKsack OFof STAMFORDstamford INin 14611461 Bentleybentley Woodwood ,, writingwrite inin 18891889 ,, picturedpicture thethe terribleterrible scenescene :: Riverriver conduitsconduit andand drainsdrain arebe alsoalso mistakenmistake forfor tunnelstunnel .. HEREWARDhereward THEthe WAKEwake &and THEthe WOLFwolf HUGHhugh OFof LINCOLNlincoln &and THEthe SHOEMAKERshoemaker Soso muchmuch forfor thatthat traditiontradition .. Inin aa "" stopstop runrun "" organisedorganise byby thethe landlordlandlord ofof thethe Halfhalf Moonmoon onon St.st. Paul'spaul Streetstreet duringduring Christmaschristmas 17761776 ,, thethe Mercurymercury reportedreport thatthat "" severalseveral peoplepeople werebe toss'dtoss ,, andand oneone manman ,, terriblyterribly bruis'dbruise andand gor'dgore inin thethe faceface ,, byby whichwhich itit isbe fear'dfear hehe willwill loselose oneone ofof hishis eyeseye "" andand inin 17851785 thethe underbutlerunderbutler ofof Burghleyburghley Househouse wasbe killedkill whenwhen thethe bullbull suddenlysuddenly turnedturn onon himhim .. Arthurarthur Browningbrowning ,, thethe sonson ofof Stamfordstamford architectarchitect Edwardedward Browningbrowning ,, whowho wasbe atat thethe schoolschool inin thethe 1870's1870 ,, reportsreport thatthat "" Thethe initiationinitiation ofof thethe newnew boysboy kissingkiss thethe faceface ofof thethe "" Oldold Man'man' "" ,, whichwhich formsform thethe keystonekeystone ofof thethe churchchurch doordoor ,, wasbe seldomseldom practisedpractise "" andand J.j. H.h. Boamboam ofof thethe samesame periodperiod recalledrecall thatthat thethe ceremonyceremony wasbe onlyonly undertakenundertake ifif aa pupilpupil hadhave donedo anythinganything toto dishonourdishonour thethe schoolschool .. Joanjoan roderide homehome ,, herher heartheart heavyheavy asas leadlead .. Sheshe liftedlift thethe latchlatch andand wentgo indoorsindoors .. "" Mamamama ?? "" sheshe calledcall fromfrom thethe thresholdthreshold .. Ii ambe backback ââ homehome againagain safesafe andand soundsound .. "" Mamamama ,, arebe youyou poorlypoorly ?? "" Bessbess Halidonhalidon wasbe deaddead ââ thoughthough notnot yetyet coldcold .. Itit mustmust havehave beenbe justjust afterafter Ii leftleave ,, thoughtthink Joanjoan .. Mamamama mustmust havehave feltfeel poorlypoorly ,, draggeddrag herselfherself upstairsupstairs andand waitedwait forfor Mothermother Nevilleneville whowho doesdo thethe laying-outlaying-out .. Ii mustmust gogo rightright awayaway .. Tearstear werebe forfor laterlate :: Wasbe notnot sheshe Bessbess Halidon'shalidon daughterdaughter ?? Sheshe mustmust keepkeep busybusy ,, seesee toto thingsthing .. Sheshe wasbe besetbeset ofof aa suddensudden byby aa greatgreat fearfear :: Sheshe wasbe utterlyutterly alonealone nownow .. Ii havehave nonenone inin thethe wholewhole worldworld toto callcall mymy ownown .. Andand Ii tootoo couldcould taketake inin washingwashing â¦â¦ "" Framlinghamframlingham Hallhall sprangspring toto mindmind atat thatthat pointpoint .. Itit wasbe thenthen thatthat thethe thoughtthought struckstrike herher .. Itit wasbe thenthen thatthat thethe tearstear fellfall .. "" Soso youyou 'vehave gotget youryour ownown wayway after all afterafter allall .. "" Herher Gracegrace isbe atat homehome .. Waitwait herehere andand Ii willwill enquireenquire as to asas toto ana appointmentappointment .. "" Ii 'mbe sorrysorry ,, Youryour Gracegrace â¦â¦ "" Whatwhat dodo youyou saysay ?? "" "" Thethe ladylady Anneanne needsneed youyou .. Onceonce thatthat 'sbe donedo â¦â¦ "" Anneanne wasbe approachingapproach herher thirteenththirteenth birthdaybirthday andand Kingking Edwardedward consideredconsider itit timetime thatthat sheshe andand hishis sonson Princeprince Richardrichard ,, thenthen tenten yearsyear ofof ageage ,, becamebecome bettergood acquaintedacquaint .. Howhow sweetsweet !! saidsay thethe guestsguest .. Howhow delightfuldelightful theythey arebe togethertogether !! "" Wewe cancan notnot havehave allall thatthat wewe desiredesire inin thisthis lifelife ,, "" pointedpoint outout Joanjoan inin aa tonetone remarkablyremarkably likelike thatthat ofof theirtheir confessorconfessor ,, Fatherfather Powickepowicke .. Althoughalthough sheshe accompaniedaccompany Anneanne toto mostmost ofof herher subsequentsubsequent meetingsmeeting withwith thethe royalroyal familyfamily ,, Joanjoan diddo soso asas ana adjunctadjunct ,, aa chaperonchaperon ,, toto thethe elderold girlgirl .. Joanjoan ,, thoughthough Anne'sanne juniorjunior byby aa yearyear andand notnot yetyet fullyfully accustomedaccustom toto thethe waysway ofof thethe nobilitynobility ,, wasbe by far byby farfar thethe moremuch worldly-wiseworldly-wise ofof thethe twotwo .. Availableavailable withwith bristlesbristle oror nylonnylon quillsquill .. Telephonetelephone forfor youryour nearestnear stockiststockist .. brand new Brand-newbrand-new fromfrom Wellawella isbe Colourcolour Confidenceconfidence Washwash Outout Colourcolour .. Eacheach packpack containscontain colourantcolourant ,, protectiveprotective capecape andand glovesglove .. Montagnemontagne Jeunessejeunesse havehave createdcreate aa completelycompletely vegetarianvegetarian ,, cruelty-freecruelty-free haircarehaircare rangerange .. LONGlong LOOSEloose LOCKSlock FROMfrom RITArita RUSKrusk BYby DAVIDdavid ROLESrole OFof NEWnew HAIRhair DESIGNdesign avant garde AVANTavant GARDEgarde LOOKlook BYby CHARLIEcharlie MILLERmiller WILDwild CURLScurl FROMfrom D.L.C.d.l.c. INin GLASGOWglasgow FROMfrom THEthe HAIRhair TRAFFICtraffic SALONsalon INin BELFASTbelfast BYby THEthe HAIRDRESSERhairdresser OFof "" 9191 ââ TREVORtrevor SORBIEsorbie HAIRhair BYby WAYNEwayne OFof THEthe Mm &and Mm HAIRhair ACADEMYacademy TREStres CHICchic FROMfrom TERENCEterence RENATIrenati OFof LONDONlondon HAIRhair BYby WILLIAMwilliam FORfor Mm &and Mm ACADEMYacademy HAIRhair BYby ROZroz MAINmain FORfor RITArita RUSKrusk INTint .. Tongstongs oror curlerscurler ââ thethe choicechoice isbe yoursyours .. Specialspecial Tectec Nini Plipli kitskit willwill bebe availableavailable fromfrom youryour styliststylist soso youyou cancan continuecontinue toto createcreate thethe looklook yourselfyourself betweenbetween salonsalon visitsvisit askask youryour locallocal L'Oréall'oréal appointedappointed salonsalon .. Thethe looklook isbe polishedpolish ,, withwith farfar moremore glamourglamour .. Longerlong hairhair isbe becomingbecome popularpopular ,, especiallyespecially longlong ,, curlycurly stylesstyle .. DAVIDdavid AUMONIERaumonier ,, Belfastbelfast andand Bangorbangor .. Thisthis multipurposemultipurpose stylingstyling brushbrush isbe idealideal forfor straightstraight hairhair .. Alternativelyalternatively youyou cancan callcall forfor theirtheir latestlate cataloguecatalogue .. Relaxrelax forfor fifteenfifteen minutesminute ,, thenthen rinserinse offoff withwith tepidtepid waterwater .. Youyou 'llwill findfind allall thethe ingredientsingredient listedlist onon thethe productsproduct .. Montagnemontagne Jeunessejeunesse ââ greatgreat forfor budgetbudget pricedpriced naturalnatural buysbuy .. Therethere arebe manymany moremore ,, farfar tootoo numerousnumerous toto mentionmention herehere ,, butbut Thethe Bodybody Shopshop stockstock aa goodgood selectionselection ofof aromatherapyaromatherapy oilsoil asas dodo mostmost healthhealth foodfood soressore .. Aa half-hourhalf-hour massagemassage costscost £pound 12.5012.50 .. Itit maymay bebe worthworth investinginvest inin aa coursecourse ofof vitaminvitamin supplementssupplement â- theythey cacan n'tnot makemake upup forfor aa poorpoor dietdiet butbut theythey cancan provideprovide aa usefuluseful boostboost occasionallyoccasionally .. Pamperpamper aa friendfriend withwith aa naturalnatural beautybeauty productproduct byby postpost .. Forfor £pound 49.9949.99 ,, itit comprisescomprise twotwo tinytiny magnetsmagnet usedused toto stimulatestimulate energyenergy flowsflow throughthrough thethe bodybody ;; mineralmineral saltssalt fromfrom thethe Deaddead Seasea toto helphelp eliminateeliminate cellulitecellulite andand peppep upup youryour skinskin ;; ana aromatherapyaromatherapy oiloil ;; aa handhand rollerroller whichwhich stimulatesstimulate pressurepressure pointspoint onon thethe handshand ;; vitaminvitamin tabletstablet ,, andand finallyfinally aa bodybody scrubscrub spongesponge toto exfoliateexfoliate ,, boostboost circulationcirculation andand helphelp getget ridrid ofof toxinstoxin .. Allall treatmentstreatment andand progressprogress arebe monitoredmonitor weeklyweekly viavia Bharti'sbharti Helplinehelpline .. Highhigh Hairhair Highhigh Controlcontrol Gelgel addsadd liftlift .. Wewe 'vehave gotget togethertogether withwith Ralphralph Kleelikleeli Hairhair toto givegive ourour readersreader northnorth ofof thethe countrycountry aa realreal treattreat ââ twentytwenty freefree haircutshaircut byby stylistsstylist atat thisthis toptop salonsalon !! Tunneltunnel shareshare offeroffer buriedbury CONFUSEDconfused shareholdersshareholder havehave beenbe seekingseek helphelp onon thethe complexcomplex questionquestion ofof Eurotunneleurotunnel warrantswarrant andand whatwhat theythey arebe worthworth .. Notnot muchmuch ,, isbe thethe shortshort answeranswer .. Thosethose hopinghope toto cashcash inin onon thethe warrantswarrant issuedissue withwith theirtheir sharesshare maymay findfind thethe freefree giftgift isbe nownow ana expensiveexpensive invitationinvitation toto buybuy .. Thethe warrantswarrant ,, whichwhich givegive holdersholder thethe rightright toto moremore sharesshare ,, havehave toto bebe convertedconvert byby Novembernovember 1515 ,, afterafter whichwhich theythey expireexpire .. Forfor everyevery 1010 warrantswarrant heldhold ,, youyou cancan subscribesubscribe toto 1.11.1 Eurotunneleurotunnel unitsunit ,, atat aa totaltotal costcost ofof ££ 4.574.57 .. Butbut rightright nownow Eurotunneleurotunnel sharesshare cancan bebe pickedpick upup inin thethe marketmarket atat aroundaround ££ 3.603.60 .. Unlessunless thethe priceprice soarssoar toto beatbeat ££ 4.574.57 inin thethe nextnext weekweek ,, itit 'sbe notnot worthworth botheringbother withwith thethe warrantswarrant .. Youyou 'dwould dodo bettergood toto buybuy moremore sharesshare inin thethe marketmarket ââ ifif youyou reallyreally wantwant moremore .. Itit isbe notnot worthworth botheringbother tryingtry toto sellsell thethe warrantswarrant eithereither ,, asas theythey arebe currentlycurrently tradingtrade atat aroundaround ¼pNO_LEMMA_FORM_IDENTIFIED eacheach .. Eurotunneleurotunnel hashave aroundaround 2424 mmillion warrantswarrant inin issueissue andand willwill netnet overover Poundspound 100100 mmillion ifif theythey arebe allall convertedconvert toto sharesshare .. Thethe groupgroup isbe a little aa littlelittle coycoy as to asas toto howhow manymany havehave takentake advantageadvantage ofof thisthis notnot veryvery temptingtempting offeroffer .. "" Onlyonly aa smallsmall numbernumber "" ,, sayssay aa spokesmanspokesman .. Toptop performerperformer wowill n'tnot bebe leftleave onon thethe shelfshelf SHARESshare inin Bradford-basedbradford-based supermarketssupermarket groupgroup Williamwilliam Morrisonmorrison shouldshould getget aa boostboost thisthis morningmorning .. Thethe firmfirm emergesemerge asas Britain'sbritain toptop performingperforming companycompany overover thethe lastlast fivefive yearsyear .. Itit alsoalso hashave ana unbrokenunbroken 20-year20-year recordrecord ofof profitsprofit growthgrowth .. Williamwilliam Morrisonmorrison isbe thethe starstar turnturn ofof aa surveysurvey byby thethe Instituteinstitute ofof Directorsdirector ,, ofof Britain'sbritain 1,0001,000 biggestbig companiescompany byby salessale .. Numbernumber 146146 byby salessale valuevalue ,, Morrison'smorrison profitprofit performanceperformance sincesince 19831983 outstripsoutstrip themthem allall .. Thenthen ,, itit mademake £pound 99 mmillion onon salessale ofof £pound 223223 mmillion .. Byby 19921992 thatthat wasbe Poundspound 6363 mmillion onon salessale ofof £pound 1.11.1 bnbillion .. Itit narrowlynarrowly beatbeat muchmuch biggerbig rivalrival andand fellowfellow supermarketssupermarket groupgroup Jj Sainsburysainsbury toto thethe toptop slotslot ,, andand outshoneoutshine Tescotesco .. Othersother onon thethe five-yearfive-year shortlistshortlist werebe eliminatedeliminate because of becausebecause ofof recentrecent spotsspot onon theirtheir recordrecord .. Transporttransport andand trailerstrailer groupgroup Tiphooktiphook sawsee aa recentrecent dipdip inin operatingoperating profitsprofit andand earnings-per-shareearnings-per-share .. Constructionconstruction andand engineeringengineering firmfirm BMbm Groupgroup hithit controversycontroversy overover itsits accountingaccounting practicespractice ,, andand itsits chairmanchairman resignedresign because of becausebecause ofof ill-healthill-health . Engineeringengineering groupgroup Harlandharland Simonsimon ranrun intointo lossesloss ,, hadhave itsits sharesshare suspendedsuspend ,, andand lostlose itsits chairmanchairman andand financefinance directordirector .. Withwith competitioncompetition likelike thethe lastlast twotwo ,, isbe Williamwilliam Morrisonmorrison reallyreally thatthat greatgreat ?? "" Yesyes ,, "" saysay Citycity fansfan ofof thethe wayway itit quietlyquietly concentratesconcentrate onon itsits locallocal patchpatch andand getsget onon withwith thethe jobjob .. Buyersbuyer bewarebeware ,, howeverhowever :: thethe sharesshare arebe fairlyfairly tightlytightly heldhold .. Ifif theythey jumpjump forfor joyjoy todaytoday holdhold offoff untiluntil theythey sobersober upup againagain .. Waterwater companiescompany camecome out of outout ofof thethe studystudy wellwell ,, withwith thethe tenten privatisedprivatised companiescompany allall onon thethe toptop 2424 profit-makers'profit-maker listlist .. Theirtheir latestlate pre-taxpre-tax profitsprofit werebe betweenbetween 2626 %percent -- 5454 %percent ofof salessale .. Soso hanghang onon toto thosethose sharesshare .. Theythey arebe alsoalso aa goodgood hedgehedge againstagainst allall thethe politicalpolitical andand economiceconomic uncertaintiesuncertainty ragingrage inin Britainbritain thisthis Guyguy Fawkesfawkes weekweek .. Analystanalyst Nigelnigel Hawkinshawkins ofof Hoarehoare Govettgovett hashave beenbe advisingadvise bigbig fundfund managersmanager toto switchswitch out of outout ofof electricityelectricity sharesshare nownow intointo waterwater stocksstock .. (( Butbut electricityelectricity sharesshare arebe stillstill aa safesafe investmentinvestment )) .. Soso arebe giltsgilt ,, especiallyespecially ifif youyou nipnip inin toto themthem beforebefore thethe nextnext ââ perhapsperhaps imminentimminent ââ interestinterest raterate cutcut .. Sincesince giltsgilt paypay aa fixedfixed annualannual raterate ofof interestinterest ,, youyou wouldwould bebe lockinglock inin aa higherhigh returnreturn beforebefore thethe raterate cutcut .. Andand ,, asas giltgilt pricesprice riserise whenwhen interestinterest ratesrate fallfall ,, youyou shouldshould alsoalso bebe suresure ofof aa capitalcapital gaingain .. Eveneven index-linkedindex-linked stocksstock shouldshould benefitbenefit ,, andand ifif inflationinflation isbe onon thethe riserise againagain ,, willwill alsoalso protectprotect youryour incomeincome andand capitalcapital fromfrom itsits impactimpact .. Somesome index-linkedindex-linked giltsgilt offeroffer protectionprotection wellwell intointo thethe nextnext centurycentury .. Biggestbig businessesbusiness byby salessale inin thethe IODiod surveysurvey arebe BPbp ,, atat £pound 32.632.6 bnbillion ,, andand Unileverunilever atat £pound 23.223.2 bnbillion ,, followedfollow byby BTbt ,, ICIici andand ââ soso farfar ââ Britishbritish Aerospaceaerospace .. BATbat ,, Britishbritish Gasgas ,, Grandgrand Metropolitanmetropolitan ,, Sainsburysainsbury ,, andand Hansonhanson (( atat £pound 7.77.7 bnbillion )) completecomplete thatthat toptop tenten .. Butbut thethe bigbig boysboy earningearn thethe bestgood returnreturn onon theirtheir assetsasset soso farfar arebe GECgec ,, BTRbtr ,, Unileverunilever ,, Marksmarks andand Spencerspencer ,, andand Sainsburysainsbury .. Marginsmargin andand jobsjob arebe stillstill shrinkingshrink inin manymany industriesindustry andand corporatecorporate debtdebt hashave doubleddouble inin thethe lastlast fivefive yearsyear .. Thethe biggestbig 1,0001,000 Britishbritish companiescompany nownow oweowe aa totaltotal ofof £pound 114.4114.4 billionbillion betweenbetween themthem .. Groupsgroup withwith salessale overover £pound 500500 mmillion havehave seensee totaltotal debtdebt riserise byby 7676 %percent ;; andand withwith recessionrecession inin fullfull swingswing arebe likelylikely toto continuecontinue scalingscale backback jobsjob ,, thethe surveysurvey warnswarn .. IODiod Directordirector Generalgeneral Peterpeter Morganmorgan wantswant ana instantinstant 22 %percent interestinterest raterate cutcut toto liftlift thethe gloomgloom .. Thamesthames profitsprofit flowflow inin PROFITSprofit newsnews fromfrom Thamesthames tomorrowtomorrow launchlaunch thethe nextnext wavewave ofof waterwater companycompany figuresfigure .. Half-timehalf-time figuresfigure arebe expectedexpect toto showshow aa 44 %percent riserise toto £pound 123123 mmillion andand aa dividenddividend increaseincrease toto 6.96.9 ppenny .. Supermarketsupermarket giantgiant Sainsburysainsbury checkscheck outout interiminterim figuresfigure onon Wednesdaywednesday .. Strongstrong growthgrowth helpedhelp byby lastlast year'syear rightsright issueissue andand improvedimproved salessale shouldshould markmark upup profitsprofit 2222 %percent toto £pound 400400 mmillion ,, sayssay UBSubs Phillipsphillips &and Drewdrew .. Aa dividividend ofof 2.752.75 ppence isbe expectedexpect .. Tobacco-to-insurancetobacco-to-insurance groupgroup BATbat revealsreveal thirdthird quarterquarter figuresfigure onon Wednesdaywednesday .. Aa muchmuch improvedimprove performanceperformance fromfrom itsits insuranceinsurance armarm Eagleeagle Starstar shouldshould pushpush profitsprofit forfor thethe ninenine monthsmonth overover thethe £pound 11 bnbillion markmark .. Moremuch gloomygloomy newsnews isbe expectedexpect onon Thursdaythursday fromfrom oiloil groupgroup BPbp .. Thirdthird quarterquarter figuresfigure arebe likelylikely toto showshow aa furtherfar profitsprofit fallfall fromfrom Poundspound 155155 mmillion toto £pound 130130 mmillion ,, withwith highhigh gearinggearing continuingcontinue toto posepose aa problemproblem .. Scottishscottish supermarketsupermarket groupgroup Williamwilliam Lowlow isbe findingfind salessale squeezedsqueeze byby largerlarge competitorscompetitor .. Year-endyear-end profitsprofit arebe expectedexpect toto slipslip fromfrom £pound 2323 mmillion toto £pound 2020 mmillion ,, withwith ana unchangedunchanged dividividend ofof 8.48.4 ppence .. Profitsprofit atat Unileverunilever arebe forecastforecast toto riserise fromfrom £pound 575575 mmillion toto aroundaround £pound 595595 mmillion forfor thethe thirdthird quarterquarter .. TOPtop people'speople auctionauction househouse ,, Sotheby'ssotheby isbe losinglose moneymoney handhand overover fistfist .. Lossesloss inin thethe threethree monthsmonth toto end-Septemberend-september deepeneddeepen fromfrom $dollar 1111 mmillion (( Poundspound 7.197.19 mmillion )) toto $dollar 13.213.2 mmillion ,, despitedespite aa $dollar 15.615.6 mmillion improvementimprovement inin auctionauction salessale toto $dollar 88.788.7 mmillion .. Bossboss Michaelmichael Ll Ainslieainslie blamesblame aa profitsprofit slideslide atat Acquavellaacquavella ,, thethe modernmodern artart jointjoint ventureventure ,, forfor thethe plungeplunge .. Marlenemarlene Dietrich'sdietrich rubyruby andand diamonddiamond braceletbracelet ,, soldsell lastlast monthmonth forfor $dollar 990,000990,000 ,, doubledouble itsits estimatedestimated valuevalue ,, andand thethe auctionauction ofof artworkartwork fromfrom Waltwalt Disney'sdisney Beautybeauty andand thethe Beastbeast ,, whichwhich raisedraise £pound 1.31.3 mmillion ,, providedprovided somesome consolationconsolation .. Thethe sharesshare addedadd 1313 ppence toto 663663 ppence .. Sunblestsunblest isbe slicedslice Aa FIERCEfierce priceprice warwar inin thethe breadbread marketmarket hashave takentake aa heftyhefty bitebite out of outout ofof profitsprofit atat Sunblestsunblest toto Silversilver Spoonspoon sugarsugar giantgiant Associatedassociate Britishbritish Foodsfood .. Bossboss Garygary Westonweston ,, oneone ofof thethe richestrich menman inin Britainbritain ,, reportsreport ana 1111 %percent divedive inin full-yearfull-year profitsprofit toto £pound 297297 mmillion .. Thethe recessionrecession andand aa dropdrop inin interestinterest ratesrate werebe alsoalso responsibleresponsible forfor thethe divedive .. Butbut Canadiancanadian Mrmr Westonweston isbe notnot undulyunduly concernedconcerned .. Atat yesterday'syesterday priceprice ofof 443443 ppence ,, hishis familyfamily stakestake isbe worthworth justjust overover £pound 1.21.2 bnbillion ââ aa lotlot ofof doughdough .. Hehe isbe alsoalso veryvery happyhappy withwith hishis Britishbritish Sugarsugar acquisitionacquisition .. Itit chippedchip inin tradingtrading profitsprofit ofof £pound 139139 mmillion inin thethe fullfull yearyear onon turnoverturnover ofof Poundspound 700700 mmillion .. Thethe group'sgroup cashcash mountainmountain ,, hashave shrunkshrink .. Atat thethe year-endyear-end ,, cashcash totalledtotal £pound 409409 mmillion ,, aa dropdrop ofof £pound 6161 mmillion onon thethe previousprevious 1212 monthsmonth .. Thethe profitsprofit werebe struckstrike afterafter chargingcharge £pound 1515 mmillion forfor rationalisationrationalisation andand reorganisationreorganisation .. Thethe totaltotal dividividend isbe hikedhike fromfrom 1313 ppence toto 1414 ppence withwith aa secondsecond interiminterim ofof 5.55.5 ppence (( 4.54.5 ppence )) .. Thethe group'sgroup investmentsinvestment inin Berisfordberisford andand Hillsdownhillsdown havehave beenbe furtherfar writtenwrite downdown resultingresult inin ana extraordinaryextraordinary chargecharge ofof £pound 3131 mmillion .. ABFabf hashave 2020 %percent ofof Berisfordberisford andand aa tinytiny 88 mmillion sharesshare inin Hillsdownhillsdown .. Tietie Rackrack switchesswitch onon withwith flashyflashy figuresfigure TIEStie emblazonedemblazoned withwith Santassantas andand Rudolphsrudolphs withwith redred nosesnose thatthat lightlight upup atat thethe touchtouch ofof aa buttonbutton andand seductiveseductive picturespicture ofof Marilynmarilyn Monroemonroe arebe allall partpart ofof Tietie Rack'srack campaigncampaign strategystrategy forfor Christmaschristmas .. Soc arebe silksilk waistcoatswaistcoat andand blazersblazer pricedprice atat aa knock-downknock-down £pound 4545 .. "" Wewe 'rebe concentratingconcentrate eveneven harderhard onon givinggive customerscustomer whatwhat theythey wantwant thisthis yearyear ,, "" sayssay bossboss Nigelnigel McGinleymcginley .. Hehe isbe stillstill cautiouscautious aboutabout forecastingforecasting whatwhat willwill happenhappen overover thethe nextnext twotwo monthsmonth ,, butbut reckonsreckon thatthat Tietie Rack'srack low-pricedlow-priced ,, highhigh valuevalue rangesrange shouldshould bebe justjust thethe thingthing toto tempttempt recession-bashedrecession-bashed Christmaschristmas shoppersshopper .. Thethe formerformer '80s80 highhigh flierflier isbe alreadyalready wellwell onon thethe wayway toto diggingdig itselfitself out of outout ofof thethe messmess itit gotget itselfitself intointo aa fewfew yearsyear backback .. Draconiandraconian costcost controlscontrol ,, improvedimproved distributiondistribution andand aa clampdownclampdown onon high-spendinghigh-spending franchiseesfranchisee helpedhelp turnturn aa nearnear £pound 11 mmillion lossloss intointo aa better-than-expectedbetter-than-expected £pound 301,000301,000 profitprofit inin thethe sixsix monthsmonth toto Augustaugust 1616 .. McGinleymcginley ratesrate thethe 1111 %percent growthgrowth inin like-for-likelike-for-like salessale "" aa prettypretty goodgood performanceperformance inin thethe deepestdeep recessionrecession Ii 'vehave everever seensee .. "" Tietie Rackrack openedopen ninenine storesstore andand closedclose fourfour inin thethe firstfirst halfhalf ,, andand plansplan toto havehave openedopen anotheranother 1414 byby thethe year-endyear-end ,, ofof whichwhich at least atat leastleast fivefive willwill bebe inin thethe UKuk .. Thethe 4343 USus andand 2121 Canadiancanadian storesstore arebe onon thethe mendmend at last atat lastlast ,, butbut McGinleymcginley hashave hishis sightssight fixedfix onon expansionexpansion inin Europeeurope .. Thethe groupgroup openedopen aa storestore inin Honghong Kongkong thisthis yearyear ,, itsits firstfirst inin thethe Farfar Easteast .. Thethe sharesshare jumpedjump ppound toto 53½53½ ppound .. Creamcream offoff thethe toptop DAIRYdairy Crestcrest movedmove aa stepstep near to nearernearer toto itsits floatfloat yesterdayyesterday withwith thethe appointmentappointment ofof financialfinancial publicpublic relationsrelation expertsexpert Dewedewe Rogersonrogerson .. Thethe companycompany ,, ownedown byby thethe Milkmilk Marketingmarketing Boardboard ,, isbe Britain'sbritain biggestbig cheesecheese makermaker withwith Cheddarcheddar ,, Cheshirecheshire ,, Doubledouble Gloucestergloucester andand Cloverclover blendedblend spreadspread onon itsits salessale menumenu .. Lastlast yearyear itit mademake thethe bulkbulk ofof thethe MMB'smmb profitsprofit withwith £pound 45.545.5 mmillion afterafter chargescharge ofof £pound 14.414.4 mmillion ,, butbut beforebefore £pound 2121 mmillion exceptionalexceptional itemsitem .. Aa floatfloat couldcould bebe onon thethe cardscard byby thethe endend ofof nextnext yearyear ,, butbut beforebefore thenthen therethere couldcould bebe aa fewfew punch-upspunch-up withwith Britain'sbritain farmersfarmer whowho provideprovide allall thethe milkmilk toto makemake thethe cheesecheese .. Poundpound isbe bushedbush THEthe poundpound wasbe wobblingwobble likelike aa jellyjelly yesterdayyesterday ahead of aheadahead ofof today'stoday USus Presidentialpresidential electionelection andand tomorrow'stomorrow crucialcrucial votevote onon Maastrichtmaastricht .. Wallwall Streetstreet punditspundit reckonreckon thatthat Clintonclinton isbe homehome whichwhich boostedboost thethe dollardollar andand sentsend thethe poundpound reelingreel ,, downdown threethree centscent .. Thethe poundpound alsoalso hithit aa newnew lowlow againstagainst thethe markmark atat DMdm 2.402.40 .. Sharesshare werebe justjust asas jitteryjittery .. Johnjohn Major'smajor fatefate isbe nownow inin thethe balancebalance andand ifif hehe loseslose thethe votevote onon Europeeurope andand resignsresign ,, dealersdealer reckonreckon wewe couldcould seesee sharesshare inin freefallfreefall withwith at least atat leastleast £pound 1515 bnbillion toto £pound 2020 bnbillion wipedwipe offoff .. Butbut FT-SEft-se shookshake offoff thethe bluesblues andand notchednotch upup aa 29.5-point29.5-point leapleap toto 2687.82687.8 .. Aa lotlot ofof thethe activityactivity wasbe linedline toto dollar-orientateddollar-orientated stocksstock .. Stagstag Furniturefurniture jumpedjump 2020 ppence toto 9595 ppence afterafter ana approachapproach .. Euroeuro Disneydisney wasbe alsoalso inin demanddemand ,, upup 2020 ppoint atat 965965 ppoint afterafter aa riserise inin foreignforeign visitorvisitor receiptsreceipt .. Bootsboots ,, ahead of aheadahead ofof Thursday'sthursday interimsinterim ,, addedadd 88 ppoint toto 480480 ppoint .. Britishbritish Steelsteel lostlose 11 ppoint toto 4646 ppoint .. Prudentialprudential closedclose ppoint adriftadrift atat 276276 ppoint afterafter restatedrestated profitsprofit .. Aa newnew accountingaccounting techniquetechnique hashave almostalmost trebledtreble thethe 19911991 profitsprofit toto £pound 620620 mmillion .. Powerpower triotrio inin linklink upup THEthe UKuk electricalelectrical retailretail consortiumconsortium Ee &and Ss Retailretail receivedreceive aa shotshot inin thethe armarm yesterdayyesterday withwith aa newnew recruitrecruit .. Midlandsmidlands Electricityelectricity isbe toto joinjoin Easterneastern andand Southernsouthern Electricelectric inin aa jointjoint ventureventure toto createcreate thethe UK'suk thirdthird largestlarge operationoperation .. Midlandsmidlands willwill joinjoin onon Aprilapril 11 nextnext yearyear andand itsits 8282 outletsoutlet willwill bebe transferredtransfer toto thethe organisationorganisation ,, withwith Midlandsmidlands holdinghold 2828 %percent ofof thethe combinecombine .. Thethe shopsshop sellsell aa widewide rangerange ofof brownbrown andand whitewhite electricalelectrical goodsgoods .. Duncanduncan Rossross ,, Southernsouthern Electricelectric bossboss ,, saidsay thethe movemove willwill "" strengthenstrengthen thethe trio'strio positionposition inin thethe highhigh streetstreet "" .. Expressexpress Foodsfood inin £pound 9696 mmillion buybuy outout FOODfood ,, drinksdrink andand retailretail giantgiant GrandMetgrandmet hashave soldsell offoff thethe dairydairy unitunit ofof Expressexpress Foodsfood inin aa managementmanagement buy-outbuy-out worthworth £pound 9696 mmillion .. Thethe dealdeal representsrepresent thethe lastlast partpart ofof GrandMet'sgrandmet £pound 550550 mmillion disposaldisposal ofof Expressexpress .. Sirsir Allenallen Sheppardsheppard ,, GrandMetgrandmet chairmanchairman ,, saidsay thethe disposaldisposal leavesleave himhim freefree toto focusfocus onon thethe group'sgroup mainmain strategystrategy ofof "" developingdevelop highlyhighly brandedbranded businessesbusiness .. "" Thethe buy-outbuy-out teamteam wasbe ledlead byby Expressexpress managingmanaging directordirector Rogerroger Davenportdavenport withwith backingbacking fromfrom outsideoutside investorsinvestor .. Grandmetgrandmet sharesshare jumpedjump 77 ppoint toto 419419 ppoint .. RIVALrival Alliedallied Lyonslyons hashave putput itsits toptop rankingranking Bordeauxbordeaux vineyardvineyard ,, Chateauchateau Latourlatour ,, upup forfor salesale .. Itit couldcould fetchfetch up to upup toto £pound 120120 mmillion ,, according to accordingaccording toto analystsanalyst .. Thethe favouritefavourite toto concludeconclude aa dealdeal isbe Axaaxa Midimidi ,, thethe Frenchfrench insurerinsurer .. Whitewhite Knightknight joinsjoin bidbid fightfight overover TVStvs Aa WHITEwhite Knightknight hashave gallopedgallop toto thethe rescuerescue ofof TVStvs Entertainmententertainment ,, thethe southernsouthern operatoroperator thatthat lostlose itsits money-spinningmoney-spinning TVtv franchisefranchise inin thethe shakeshake upup .. Thethe bidderbidder appearedappear as soon as asas soonsoon asas thethe stockstock marketmarket openedopen ,, butbut TVStvs bossboss Rudolphrudolph Agnewagnew isbe keepingkeep hishis identityidentity aa secretsecret ,, althoughalthough itit isbe tippedtip toto bebe USus firmfirm TCWtcw Capitalcapital .. Therethere isbe alreadyalready ana agreedagreed offeroffer worthworth £pound 3838 mmillion fromfrom Inter-nationalinter-national Familyfamily Entertainmentsentertainment (( IFEife )) ,, thethe US-basedus-based concernconcern runrun byby Americanamerican TVtv evangelistevangelist Patpat Robertsonrobertson ,, butbut shareholdersshareholder reckonreckon itit isbe notnot enoughenough .. Itit comprisescomprise aa cashcash alternativealternative worthworth up to upup toto 2323 ppenny aa shareshare andand 4343 ppenny perper preferencepreference shareshare ,, butbut irateirate shareholdersshareholder saysay theythey wouldwould getget moremore moneymoney ââ 4646 ppenny aa shareshare ââ ifif thethe companycompany wentgo intointo voluntaryvoluntary liquidationliquidation .. TVStvs sharesshare shotshoot aheadahead byby ppoint toto 2626 ppoint onon thethe newsnews andand therethere isbe speculationspeculation thatthat aa majormajor battlebattle couldcould bebe inin thethe wingswing .. TVStvs ,, bestgood knownknow forfor thethe Ruthruth Rendellrendell mysteriesmystery ,, isbe closingclose downdown inin Decemberdecember .. Itit lostlose itsits franchisefranchise toto Meridianmeridian Broadcastingbroadcasting ,, thethe MAImai companycompany runrun byby Labourlabour peerpeer Lordlord Hollickhollick .. Thethe UKuk sideside ofof TVStvs isbe beingbe runrun downdown butbut itit hashave aa pilepile ofof cashcash andand whatwhat couldcould bebe highlyhighly profitableprofitable operationsoperation inin thethe USus viavia MTMmtm .. IFEife ,, aa familyfamily channelchannel watchedwatch byby 5454 mmillion ofof thethe 5656 mmillion homeshome withwith cablecable TVtv ,, isbe mainlymainly interestedinterested inin MTMmtm .. Itit makesmake programmesprogramme such as suchsuch asas Hillhill Streetstreet Bluesblues ,, Loulou Grantgrant ,, andand Eveningevening Shadeshade ,, aa jointjoint ventureventure betweenbetween CBScbs andand Burtburt Reynoldsreynolds .. Slowslow flowflow atat Thamesthames Waterwater THAMESthames Waterwater tooktake timetime offoff fromfrom battlingbattle withwith angryangry meteringmeter opponentsopponent inin Surreysurrey toto unveilunveil aa disappointingdisappointing setset ofof halftimehalftime figuresfigure yesterdayyesterday .. Sharesshare inin London'slondon waterwater providerprovider fellfall 77 ppoint toto 485485 ppoint inin aa risingrising stockstock marketmarket afterafter thethe companycompany announcedannounce aa profitsprofit increaseincrease ofof justjust 55 %percent toto £pound 124124 mmillion toto end-Septemberend-september .. Chiefchief executiveexecutive Mikemike Hoffmanhoffman boastedboast ofof nono hose-pipehosepipe bansban againagain thisthis summersummer .. Butbut allall hosepipehosepipe usersuser willwill nownow havehave toto coughcough upup £pound 3333 aa yearyear .. Thethe recessionrecession hashave cutcut thethe numbernumber ofof Thames'sthames commercialcommercial customerscustomer andand hashave virtuallyvirtually killedkill offoff profitsprofit fromfrom sellingsell redundantredundant propertiesproperty .. Butbut costcost controlscontrol havehave helpedhelp offsetoffset thethe worstbad effectseffect ofof thethe downturndownturn ,, sayssay chairmanchairman Sirsir Royroy Wattswatts .. Thethe halftimehalftime dividenddividend risesrise 88 %percent toto 6.96.9 ppenny .. FT-SEft-se hashave aa highhigh oldold timetime SHARESshare onon thethe Londonlondon marketmarket rocketedrocket toto withinwithin aa whiskerwhisker ofof theirtheir all-timeall-time peakpeak yesterdayyesterday onon hopeshope ofof aa furtherfurther cutcut inin interestinterest ratesrate andand victoryvictory forfor thethe Toriestory inin thethe Maastrichtmaastricht votevote .. Thethe FT-SEft-se 100100 soaredsoar more than moremore thanthan 2525 pointspoint inin earlyearly dealingsdealing takingtake thethe Indexindex smoothlysmoothly throughthrough 2,7002,700 toto 2713.42713.4 ,, onlyonly 2424 pointspoint belowbelow itsits recordrecord highhigh .. Itit closedclose atat 2705.62705.6 ,, forfor aa riserise ofof 17.817.8 pointspoint .. Storesstore ,, housebuildershousebuilder ,, propertiesproperty andand leisureleisure stocksstock werebe inin thethe vanguardvanguard .. Drugsdrug giantsgiant Glaxoglaxo ,, Wellcomewellcome andand ICIici werebe alsoalso inin demanddemand .. Thethe poundpound wasbe inin goodgood shapeshape ,, re-coupingrecoup somesome ofof itsits lossesloss againstagainst thethe markmark andand thethe dollardollar .. Howeverhowever ,, thethe prospectprospect ofof aa sweepingsweeping victoryvictory forfor Billbill Clintonclinton inin thethe USus electionelection hithit US-orientatedus-orientated stocksstock inin thethe UKuk .. Therethere arebe fearsfear thatthat asas Presidentpresident hehe wouldwould stingsting themthem withwith stifferstiff taxtax billsbill .. Butbut ana interiminterim advanceadvance ofof 18.518.5 %percent boostedboost Powerscreenpowerscreen toto 274274 ppoint .. Applianceappliance companycompany Kenwoodkenwood alsoalso gainedgain ,, upup 22 ppoint atat 248248 ppoint ,, afterafter aa £pound 3.53.5 mmillion acquisitionacquisition inin Honghong Kongkong .. Aa dividenddividend cutcut hithit TIPtip Europeeurope ,, downdown ppoint atat 3131 ppoint .. Sainsburysainsbury ,, ahead of aheadahead ofof today'stoday interimsinterim ,, lostlose 66 ppoint atat 504504 ppoint .. Bootsboots ,, withwith figuresfigure tomorrowtomorrow ,, addedadd 88 ppoint atat 490490 ppoint .. Sainsburysainsbury headinghead forfor recordrecord £pound 750750 mmillion SUPERMARKETsupermarket giantgiant Sainsburysainsbury threwthrow downdown thethe gauntletgauntlet toto Mm &and Ss ,, Tescotesco andand Safewaysafeway yesterdayyesterday withwith anotheranother setset ofof sparklingsparkle resultsresult .. Inin thethe depthdepth ofof thethe slumpslump ,, withwith 33 mmillion joblessjobless andand aa dozensdozens ofof businessesbusiness goinggo bustbust everyevery dayday ,, thethe retailerretailer hashave provedprove thatthat foodfood isbe stillstill aa bigbig itemitem onon thethe nation'snation menumenu .. Thethe 477-strong477-strong chainchain ,, whichwhich alsoalso ownsown DIYdiy giantgiant Homebasehomebase andand Savacentresavacentre ,, hashave notchednotch upup aa staggeringstaggering 2020 %percent leapleap inin first-halffirst-half profitsprofit toto £pound 391391 mmillion andand thethe targettarget forfor thethe fullfull yearyear isbe ana all-timeall-time recordrecord ofof £pound 750750 mmillion .. Itit isbe nownow firmlyfirmly establishedestablish asas thethe UK'suk largestlarge andand mostmuch profitableprofitable foodfood retailerretailer andand whenwhen Ii spokespeak toto multi-millionairemulti-millionaire chairmanchairman Daviddavid Sainsburysainsbury yesterdayyesterday hehe confirmedconfirm thatthat hehe "" isbe onon thethe brinkbrink ofof makingmake aa fullfull scalescale onslaughtonslaught intointo Scotlandscotland "" .. Aa combinationcombination ofof tighttight controlscontrol ,, majormajor capitalcapital spendingspending (( itit willwill bebe £pound 800800 mmillion thisthis yearyear )) andand competitivecompetitive pricingpricing ,, thethe groupgroup hashave widenedwiden thethe gapgap betweenbetween itselfitself andand itsits rivalsrival .. Eveneven Marksmarks &and Spencerspencer standsstand inin aweawe .. Whilewhile moremuch ambitiousambitious retailersretailer diversifieddiversify ,, Sainsburysainsbury stuckstick toto itsits corecore customercustomer basebase andand itit hashave paidpay offoff .. Nothingnothing succeedssucceed likelike successsuccess andand itit appliesapply perfectlyperfectly toto thethe Sainsburysainsbury familyfamily ,, theirtheir 100,000100,000 employeesemployee andand 60,00060,000 shareholdersshareholder .. Sincesince 19801980 ,, thethe UKuk staffstaff havehave sharedshare aa massivemassive £pound 250250 mmillion inin profitprofit sharingsharing hand-outshandout andand thisthis yearyear thethe figurefigure shouldshould bebe aroundaround £pound 5050 mmillion .. Thethe twotwo toptop menman atat thethe companycompany ââ Johnjohn andand Daviddavid ,, whowho arebe greatgreat grandsonsgrandson ofof thethe founderfounder ââ arebe megamega richrich .. Theythey havehave ana estimatedestimated 343343 mmillion sharesshare worthworth £pound 1.71.7 bnbillion andand lastlast yearyear thethe wealthierwealthy Daviddavid receivedreceive more than moremore thanthan £pound 3030 mmillion inin dividendsdividend alonealone .. Salessale inin thethe UKuk supermarketssupermarket andand Savacentresavacentre hypermarketshypermarket grewgrow byby 9.59.5 %percent ââ thethe highesthigh levellevel forfor fivefive yearsyear ââ andand thethe groupgroup hashave grabbedgrab ana 1111 %percent marketmarket shareshare ,, upup fromfrom 10.210.2 %percent lastlast timetime .. Ifif youyou acquiredacquire 100100 sharesshare backback inin 19731973 youyou wouldwould havehave paidpay £pound 145145 .. Atat yesterday'syesterday pricesprice thatthat stakestake wouldwould havehave beenbe worthworth £pound 7,9007,900 .. FROMfrom ONEone SMALLsmall SHOPshop SAINSBURYsainsbury isbe thethe classicclassic taletale ofof ragsrag toto richesriches .. Itit beganbegin asas aa littlelittle shopshop sellingselling butterbutter ,, milkmilk andand eggsegg inin London'slondon Drurydrury Lanelane inin 18691869 runrun byby Johnjohn andand Marymary Sainsburysainsbury .. Byby thethe 1900s1900 itit wasbe ana establishedestablished chainchain withwith marble-toppedmarble-topped counterscounter .. Todaytoday thethe familyfamily isbe oneone ofof thethe wealthiestwealthy inin Britainbritain .. Grocerygrocery departmentsdepartment werebe introducedintroduce inin 19201920 andand cookedcooked meatsmeat inin thethe 1930s1930 .. Thethe firstfirst self-serviceself-service storestore openedopen inin Croydoncroydon inin 19521952 withwith thethe firstfirst edge-of-townedge-of-town storestore appearingappear inin 19721972 .. Thethe companycompany camecome toto thethe stockstock marketmarket aa yearyear laterlate .. Itsits valuevalue forfor moneymoney techniquetechnique spreadspread fromfrom Londonlondon toto thethe Midlandsmidlands andand Northnorth .. Throughthrough thethe 1970s1970 andand 1980s1980 growthgrowth wasbe spectacularspectacular .. Thethe firstfirst Savacentresavacentre hypermarkethypermarket openedopen inin 19771977 followedfollow byby computercomputer check outs checkcheck outsouts andand Homebasehomebase inin 19811981 .. Whenwhen Lordlord Sainsburysainsbury becamebecome chairmanchairman inin 19691969 ,, profitsprofit werebe £pound 4.34.3 mmillion .. Thisthis yearyear theythey shouldshould toptop £pound 750750 mmillion .. BAT'sbat birthdaybirthday billionbillion TOBACCOtobacco andand insuranceinsurance giantgiant BATbat Industriesindustry hashave celebratedcelebrate itsits 90th90th birthdaybirthday byby smashingsmash throughthrough thethe £pound 11 bnbillion profitsprofit barrierbarrier inin thethe firstfirst ninenine monthsmonth ofof thethe yearyear .. Profitsprofit toto end-Septemberend-september soaredsoar 5656 %percent toto £pound 1.0271.027 bnbillion afterafter aa rip-roaringrip-roaring performanceperformance byby bothboth thethe tobaccotobacco armarm andand USus insurerinsurer ,, Farmersfarmer .. Therethere wasbe eveneven goodgood newsnews fromfrom previouslypreviously sicklysickly UKuk insurerinsurer Eagleeagle Starstar whichwhich isbe nownow backback onon thethe roadroad toto recoveryrecovery .. Tobaccotobacco profitsprofit jumpedjump 1616 %percent ,, thanksthanks toto thethe growthgrowth inin smokingsmoking inin lesslittle well-offwell-off partspart ofof thethe worldworld .. Chain-smokingchain-smoking bossboss Patrickpatrick Sheehysheehy proposedpropose aa specialspecial toasttoast toto thethe oldold ironiron curtaincurtain countriescountry wherewhere salessale ofof BAT'sbat Americanamerican brandsbrand leaptleap 200200 %percent .. Hehe sayssay thatthat smokerssmoker inin centralcentral Europeeurope andand thethe formerformer Sovietsoviet Unionunion arebe crazycrazy aboutabout Luckylucky Strikestrike ,, Kentkent ,, Pallpall Mallmall andand Hollywoodhollywood .. Businessbusiness isbe alsoalso boomingboom inin thethe Farfar Easteast ,, thoughthough Honghong Kongkong sufferedsuffer fromfrom higherhigh costscost andand increasedincreased importimport dutiesduty .. Centralcentral Americaamerica andand thethe Caribbeancaribbean shruggedshrug offoff lousylousy economiceconomic conditionscondition toto boostboost profitsprofit .. Southsouth Americaamerica wasbe alsoalso aheadahead .. Onon thethe insuranceinsurance sideside ,, Eagleeagle Starstar hadhave toto coughcough upup £pound 1010 mmillion inin Hurricanehurricane Andrewandrew claimsclaim whilewhile Farmersfarmer escapedescape scot-freescot-free .. Sheehysheehy saidsay thethe 99 %percent halftimehalftime dividenddividend boostboost willwill bebe at least atat leastleast matchedmatch atat thethe yearyear endend .. Thethe sharesshare roserise 99 ppoint toto 915915 ppoint .. Lulllull inin battlebattle overover ITNitn Newsnews THEthe battlebattle forfor thethe ownershipownership ofof ITNitn ,, thethe TVtv newsnews serviceservice ,, tooktake aa freshfresh turnturn yesterdayyesterday whenwhen thethe biddingbidding companiescompany decideddecide toto extendextend thethe offeroffer toto Novembernovember 1818 .. Thethe £1-a-share£1-a-share bidbid wasbe duedue toto closeclose atat 33 pmp.m. yesterdayyesterday ,, butbut thethe Carlton-ledcarlton-led groupgroup ofof mediamedium biddersbidder decideddecide theythey neededneed longerlong toto ironiron outout allall thethe problemsproblem .. ITNitn shareholdersshareholder arebe demandingdemand thatthat thethe fourfour biddersbidder ââ Carltoncarlton ,, Centralcentral TVtv ,, LWTlwt andand Reutersreuters ââ shouldshould cutcut theirtheir intendedintended stakesstake fromfrom 2020 %percent apieceapiece toto 1515 %percent ,, withwith thethe remainingremaining 4040 %percent stayingstaying withwith thethe currentcurrent shareholdersshareholder .. Thethe TVtv companiescompany thatthat ownown ITNitn arebe alsoalso clamouringclamour forfor aa higherhigh bidbid .. Butbut insidersinsider saysay thethe decisiondecision toto extendextend thethe offeroffer probablyprobably meansmean thethe consortiumconsortium hashave scentedscent victoryvictory .. Doubledouble lifelinelifeline forfor homehome ownersowner trappedtrap inin debtdebt THEthe Woolwichwoolwich Buildingbuilding Societysociety hashave twotwo newnew plansplan toto helphelp peoplepeople whowho cancan notnot movemove becausebecause theirtheir homeshome arebe nownow worthworth lesslittle thanthan theirtheir mortgagesmortgage .. Thethe firstfirst ,, Parentlineparentline ,, allowsallow parentsparent toto useuse theirtheir ownown homeshome asas securitysecurity forfor childrenchild whowho wantwant toto movemove ,, butbut cancan notnot affordafford toto paypay offoff thethe originaloriginal loanloan firstfirst .. Thisthis planplan isbe usefuluseful onlyonly forfor peoplepeople whosewhose incomesincome havehave risenrise fastfast enoughenough toto meetmeet paymentspayment onon thethe newnew loanloan andand thethe debtdebt onon theirtheir oldold mortgagemortgage .. Parentsparent withwith ana existingexisting mortgagemortgage arebe eligibleeligible ,, so long as soso longlong asas theythey stillstill ownown aa largelarge enoughenough chunkchunk ofof thethe equityequity .. Thethe secondsecond schemescheme ,, thethe Mobilitymobility Mortgagemortgage ,, allowsallow borrowersborrower forcedforce toto movemove forfor workwork oror familyfamily reasonsreason toto transfertransfer theirtheir existingexisting mortgagemortgage ,, includingincluding thethe negativenegative equityequity partpart ,, toto aa newnew homehome .. Butbut thethe newnew propertyproperty mustmust notnot bebe worthworth moremore thanthan thethe oldold oneone .. Moneymoney menman looklook toto thethe homehome frontfront Whatwhat Worldworld marketsmarket thinkthink ofof Clintonclinton .. SHARESshare hadhave aa bumpybumpy rideride inin LONDONlondon yesterdayyesterday followingfollow Billbill Clinton'sclinton landslidelandslide victoryvictory .. Thethe FT-SEft-se Indexindex crashedcrash nearlynearly 1414 pointspoint toto 2691.72691.7 butbut thethe fallfall hadhave moremuch toto dodo withwith thethe Maastrichtmaastricht jittersjitter thanthan America'samerica newnew Presidentpresident .. Elsewhereelsewhere ,, financialfinancial marketsmarket gavegive aa mutedmuted responseresponse toto thethe Democrats'democrat triumphtriumph .. Thethe dollardollar ,, whichwhich roserise initiallyinitially inin Asiaasia followingfollow newsnews ofof Clinton'sclinton winwin ,, closedclose withwith aa marginalmarginal gaingain inin Londonlondon .. Thethe poundpound ,, howeverhowever ,, inchedinch aheadahead aa pfennigpfennig againstagainst thethe markmark toto DMdm 2.432.43 .. EUROPEANeuropean stockstock marketsmarket showedshow barelybarely aa flickerflicker ofof interestinterest inin thethe electionelection resultresult .. Thethe Germangerman marketmarket tooktake aa minimini divedive ofof 1212 pointspoints butbut thethe Parisparis Boursebourse wasbe fairlyfairly firmfirm .. TOKYOtokyo wasbe upup 211.84211.84 ;; SINGAPOREsingapore addedadd 1515 andand thethe Hanghang Sengseng inin HONGhong KONGkong wasbe alsoalso higherhigh .. SYDNEYsydney alsoalso hadhave aa minorminor gaingain .. Europeaneuropean marketsmarket ,, howeverhowever ,, arebe moremuch concernedconcerned aboutabout problemsproblem onon theirtheir ownown doorstepdoorstep ââ highhigh domesticdomestic interestinterest ratesrate andand thethe outlookoutlook forfor thethe Europeaneuropean Community'scommunity Maastrichtmaastricht treatytreaty onon closerclose unionunion .. Thethe Bundesbankbundesbank ,, notnot Clinton